Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams
by CareMarie
Summary: Moving back to Forks after 12 years, Bella meets back up with Edward. Will they be able to let go of pride and fall in love in the world of rodeo? All Human.
1. I'm A Survivor

Authors Note: I do NOT own Twilight or the wonderful characters. This is my first fanfic, so please be nice.

Song for Chapter: I'm A Survivor by Reba McEntire

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

I'm A Survivor

* * *

BPOV

Growing up in the country by Phoenix, Arizona was one of the best parts of my life, that and the horses. My mother said I was always wanting a horse growing up, and begged her until I got one. My mother was always a free-spirit so when she finally decided that I could get one, we went out the same day and bought a beautiful bay gelding. Sunny became my best friend besides my mother and we grew together. I started to take riding lessons to learn how to ride, and once I was able to ride with out any help, I started to show Sunny. When I turned sixteen I got a brand new Chevy truck, and a new horse trailer and started traveling around Arizona to shows.

Soon I was interested in trying timed events and got into barrel racing. No one every really noticed plain Isabella Swan with my brown hair and chocolate colored eyes. My body was slim but I had muscles. Like I said plain, nothing to really look at or enough to get anyones attention. That soon changed when I started climbing the ranks in barrel racing. My name became known as part of the top ten barrel racers in the state of Arizona. Along with being top ten in the state, guys started to notice me.

It came to a quick halt when my mother met Phil and got serious. Phil was playing baseball for some team that traveled and couldn't stand to be around horses. He traveled a lot and I could tell my mother wanted to go with him. So here I am on my last road trip with my mother on my way to the land of green, Forks Washington. Charlie, my father, is the Chief of Police there and lives on the edge of town. He found a farm that I will be able to board Sunny, and I'll still be able to rodeo. The worse part about starting over in a new state is just that, starting over. I will have to build my name back up to get to where I want to be, but if I've done it once I can do it again.

We left Phoenix at 5 a.m. on Friday morning, and decided we would stop a couple of places along the way.

"Mom! Mom, wake up were gonna stop outside of Los Angeles and let Sunny out." Wow she's really out and she's not even driving! I pulled my truck and trailer over by a park, and got out to let Sunny out. As I backed him out of the trailer, I could tell he was stiff from the six hours he just spent in the trailer. Poor guy, I'm gonna have to give him a couple days off after this long drive. I grabbed my lunge rope and asked him to do a couple circles in both directions doing a walk, trot, lope, trot, walk pattern. Then I tied him up and gave him a hay net full of hay and grain.

"Hey mom, I think we should go ahead and grab something to eat so Sunny can eat and get some fresh air." My horse was always my first concern, and my best friend so he always got the best I could give him. After I was done eating my ham sandwich, chips and pepsi, I grabbed Sunny and his water bucket and led him over to a faucet to get some water before loading him back in the trailer. We finally pulled into San Francisco around 7 p.m. after a long drive, where I found a horse park and pulled off.

"Ungh!" Ok so jumping out of my truck probably was not the best idea to mix in with my clumsiness! I finally pulled myself up and heard my Renee laughing behind me, and I just glared at her.

"Sorry......... honey, that..... was just........ a pure Bella moment!" She finally chocked out in breathes of laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Will you help me with the panels and make a fence?" Since my trailer had a living quarters we didn't have a need to stay at a hotel, so we could just stay in the same place as Sunny. My mother wasn't the strongest, but she helped me set the panels up into a round pen. Finally after ten minutes of setting it up Sunny was rolling around in his pen, so I went ahead and got his hay and grain in there containers. I found a water faucet and filled his bucket, which I knew I'd have to fill it a couple times before I went to bed for the night.

I went inside to eat and get ready for bed, I'd have a lot of driving again tomorrow. After filling Sunny's water again, I was able to head to bed, only to hear my alarm at 5 a.m. waking me up. I threw on my wranglers and blue tank top with my boots and headed out to check on Sunny.

"Morning boy, how are you this morning?" I asked, and as a reply I got a nudge in the shoulder. I got everything for travel again and put hay in the trailer, and tied Sunny up to put the panels away.

"Mom, time to wake up!" I swear sometimes I'm the parent, the responsible one. Renee finally got up and helped me put the panels away. Once that was done I loaded Sunny up and we were finally on the road that lead us to Forks Washington.

Finally after two days of driving, six stops to stretch we finally pulled into Forks Washington. I decided to call Charlie and he gave me directions to Cullen Farms, and said he would meet us out there. Pulling onto the drive to Cullen Farms almost took my breath away. They had a beautiful barn, with turn out pens and a hay shed. It was one of the most beautiful barns I have ever seen let alone been to, and to think Sunny will be staying here! I could feel the excitement building up. I heard a car pulling up behind me and turned to see Charlie getting out of his police cruiser. Renee had already gotten out, so I decided to get out as well.

"Hey there kiddo, what do you think?" Charlie asked, and I just stared at him, as a younger looking man walked up to us. He had beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes, a very handsome man.

"Hey Charlie, this must be your daughter Isabella?" He asked Charlie, and I finally snapped out of it.

"Yes, but please call me Bella. You have a beautiful farm here, thank you for letting me board my horse here," I was barely able to spit that out.

"It's no problem Bella, call me Carlisle. Shall we get your horse out and put him in a pasture? I'm sure he'll enjoy that," he asked looking at me. I unloaded Sunny and led him to the pasture everyone was waiting for me at. After I put Sunny in and closed the gate he was running around enjoying his new home.

"Bella would you like a tour of the farm?" Carlisle asked me. I just nodded and followed behind him. "This is the indoor arena, you'll be able to ride in here, just let us know when you would like to, I have an understanding that you compete in barrel racing?" Again I could only nod taking everything in. The arena was the nicest indoor arena I had ever been in. It had wood trim around the entire arena with windows to see out of, and at the end it had doors that could be open up to let fresh air in. I saw a couple people riding in there, they looked pretty young. " The people riding in here, I'm sure you'll get to know well, that's my son and daughter along with some of their friends, they also do rodeo."

Carlisle led us threw some doors at the end of the arena and into the stall area. He walked to the end and stopped in front of a stall and said "This will be Sunny's stall when he is not outside. You are responsible for feeding and cleaning out his stall unless you have made arrangements before hand." The stalls had wood doors with bars and had the horses name plates on the stalls. Carlisle finished the tour and we walked back to my truck. He told me where I could drop my trailer and leave it there while I'm not using it since Charlie wouldn't have room at his house for it. After all I did have a huge trailer, and I wouldn't trade for anything. That is until I backed up beside another trailer that had the words "Cullen Farms" on it and it made my trailer look like nothing, damn, it was a really nice trailer!

We said our good byes and followed Charlie back to his house, and then he got in the truck with Renee and I to head to Seattle. Since Renee drove with me up to Forks, she was going to catch a plane to where Phil was waiting for her. We said our good-byes and Charlie and I headed back to his house. That's when it finally hit me. Forks Washington was my new home, I no longer lived with my mother, nor in Phoenix. A song by Reba McEntire entered my head and it took all I could do to hold back the tears and frustration.

I was born 3 months too early

The doctor gave me 30 days

but I must of had my momma's will

And God's amazing grace

I guess I'll keep on livin'

Even if this loves to die for

Cause your bags are packed and I ain't cryin'

Your walking out and I'm not tryin' to change your mind

Cause I was born to be...

Chorus:

The baby girl without a chance

A victim of the circumstance

The one who oughta give up

But she's just to hard headed

A single mom who works two jobs

Who loves her kids and never stops

With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

I'm a survivor....

I don't believe in self-pity

It only brings you down

Maybe the queen of broken hearts

But I don't hide behind the crown

When the deck is stacked against me

I just play a different game

My roots are planted in the past

And though my life is changing' fast

Who I am is who I wanna be

Chorus:

The baby girl without a chance

A victim of circumstance

The one who oughta give up

But she's just to hard headed

A single mom who works two jobs

Who loves her kids and never stops

With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

I'm a survivor....

oh...A single mom who works two jobs

Who loves her kids and never stops

With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter

I'm a survivor....

But I must of had my momma's will

And God's amazing grace

I'm a survivor....(say once then hum)

_You can do this Isabella. You are Isabella Marie Swan that lives in Forks Washington. Suck it up and deal, you will continue with rodeo and rebuild your name!! _


	2. That Girl Is A Cowboy

Song For Chapter: That Girl Is A Cowboy by Garth Brooks

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

That Girl Is A Cowboy

* * *

EPOV

Waking up on Sunday, I was still tired as hell. We had been working around the farm all day yesterday, cleaning and getting everything ready for the arrival of Chief Swan's daughter Isabella. It was about a week ago when we found out she was moving back after twelve years. I couldn't help but wonder if she was the same little girl that used to love horses. _No, probably not. _

_I was warming up my horse, Jack, when I saw Chief Swan walking into the arena and the first thing to go threw my mind was, "Ah shit what did I do now?", but from the look on on his face, he was to happy and excited for me to have done something. Huh, that's a new look for him._

_"Edward, do you know where your father is? I need to talk to him about some business," he all but chocked out threw a smile so wide, I knew I should be worried._

_"Uh, I think he's in the house, I'll call him," I said as I pulled out my cell phone to call my father. He answered on the second ring and I asked him to come to the barn, Chief Swan wanted to talk to him. And of course, the only thing out of his mouth was "Edward, what the hell did you do now and how much is it going to cost me? Tell him I'll be right down."_

_"Chief Swan, he said he was on his way down. If you'll excuse me I need to get back to warms ups." He nodded to me and I nudged Jack back into a walk. I saw my father walk into the indoor arena, and I tried like hell to ignore them. I had a team roping clinic coming up I needed to focus on. _

_"Well hello there Charlie, what did Edward do this time?" I just looked at him and flipped him off when he wasn't looking. Damn jackass didn't believe me when I told him I didn't do anything. _

_Chief Swan just chuckled and answered "Edward didn't do anything this time that I am aware of," he shot me a dirty look. Well what the hell! "As you may have heard my daughter, Isabella, is moving back home," my father nodded, hmm I wondered what this visit has to do with his daughter? "What you may not know is she is also bringing her horse with her." Hmm interesting! "She will need a place to board her horse, and keep her horse trailer, along with a place for her to practice for her events." I guess she is still into horses. _

_"She barrel races correct?" My father asked Charlie. How in the hell did my father know that? Charlie nodded, "I thought so, as I recall she's in the top ten in the state of Arizona along with the youngest in that top ten correct?" Again Charlie nodded, and I was in shock. Wow, that means she's probably still just as stubborn as when we were five. "Well we don't usually board other horses, but I do have a couple stalls open that she would be able to use. When will she arrive?" Ahh, that's the million question._

_"She is expected to arrive on Sunday with her horse and trailer. Thank you Carlisle, she will be very happy to be able to have a place to keep her horse and continue rodeo," and with that they shook hands and Chief Swan left._

"Edward! Get your ass out of bed. We gotta clean stalls and get ready for _Isabella_ to arrive!" Rosalie yelled. I don't know where she got her attitude, both of our parents are laid back and hardly ever yell. Not Rose, she's a spit fire. Groaning, I rolled out of bed, got dressed and headed downstairs for breakfast.

"Rose, Edward, Charlie just called and said that Isabella will be here in around twenty minutes. Please make sure to do your chores, and stay on your best behavior!" My mother scolded us. I just rolled my eyes and walked out to the barn. This was one of my favorite places on the property. The barn and the indoor arena where beautiful and top of the line. I guess when you have more money then you know what to do with, you can have the best. I still remember when my father had this barn built, we were all excited to be able to ride any time we wanted and not have to worry about mud. Forks was one of the greenest and wettest places you could ever go to.

Alice, Emmett and Jasper came over to ride so often, they just started keeping their horses here to save on gas and trailering. Now we ride six days a week and since we didn't ride yesterday, that was our one day off. My group of friends are good at what we do and work our asses off to get there. Emmett, Jasper and I are the team ropers out of the group, and we host many clinics, one of which is coming up in a week. Alice and Rose, well they did the whole rodeo queen shit. As I was finishing up chores I heard a truck pull up and peaked my head outside to see Jasper's truck pull up.

You could see Alice sitting in the front seat almost bouncing around in the cab. As soon as Jasper had the truck stopped she jumped out and danced her way to her horse's stall. Alice was small maybe five foot, with short black spiky hair. When she was on Fame, her horse, she looked like a pixie she was so small and he was a huge dun gelding. I'm still not sure how Jasper can put up with all the energy his girlfriend has.

Emmett crawled out of the back seat on the truck, and I do mean crawled. He was so huge, I didn't think he could even fit in the back seat. Emmett stood about six foot five inches, blonde curly hair and built like a linebacker. Most people were afraid of him, but he was as gentle as a teddy bear unless you pissed him off.

Jasper strolled in as Alice was taking Fame out of his stall. Jasper was the calmest out of all of us. Whenever he entered the area, you just couldn't help but be calm. Jasper was built a lot like me. Both of us stood at six foot three inches and were built but not over doing it, with Jasper just a little bit thinner then me.

"Hey Edward! We gonna ride or what's going on?" Alice bounced around, all I can say is poor Fame. That horse has to be going nuts with all her jumping around.

I let out a sigh and responded with, "Yes Alice, we are going to ride. But Jasper, Emmett and I need to practice roping. We have a clinic coming up. I'll get Rose to ride the 4-wheeler and roping dummy." We went to get our horses while Alice saddled up, with us following shortly after. When we were finally saddled and walked into the arena to warm up, I heard my father talking but just ignored him. Doing a couple of circles, Carlisle walked in with Chief Swan and two women. One was older with dark blonde hair, must be his ex-wife.

The other women was younger, I'm assuming Isabella, was petite. Maybe five foot four inches with beautiful brown hair flowing down her back. She wasn't the clumsy little five year old girl anymore.

I could hear my father talking, "This is the indoor arena, you'll be able to ride in here, just let us know when you would like to, I have an understanding that you compete in barrel racing?" Yep, this must be Isabella, she just simply nodded looking around. When she looked at the end we were riding, her eyes glanced over me. "The people riding in here, I'm sure you'll get to know well, that's my son and daughter along with some of their friends, they also rodeo." I looked behind and noticed Rose standing beside Emmett talking, just as Carlisle led the rest of them out.

"Who was that?" Emmett boomed, hasn't that dumbass ever heard of _inside voice_? I looked at him and just shook my head. He better be careful or Rose was gonna kick his ass.

"That was Isabella Swan," Rose sneered. Wasn't like her to act like a bitch to someone she didn't know, wonder what got up her ass. "Let's get this over with!" We started to practice and finished within a couple of hours. I was putting Jack away when I noticed a horse I didn't know walking into a stall. He was a good looking bay with flaxen in his black mane. You could just tell how much power he had in his muscles when he walked. Must be Isabella's horse, at least she still has a good eye for horses. _Duh dumbass, she would have to have a good eye to get a powerful horse to become top ten in Arizona for her barrel racing!_ I couldn't help but chuckle to myself.

The next morning I woke up and headed to the barn. On my way I noticed a nice trailer by ours and walked up to it. It was a nice 2009 four horse trailer with living quarters, on the outside by the neck of the trailer I saw a decal that said Bella Swan with a barrel racer. Walking back to the barn I couldn't help but wonder if she still preferred Bella over Isabella. _Damn Cullen, why do you care? You have enough shit going on right now. Stop worry about a damn girl you barely remember! _

I started in on chores my mind thinking about the clinic coming up and how we were gonna do teams this year. Emmett and Jasper both wanted to rope together which left me with finding a partner, which wouldn't be hard to find someone who would want to. No, the hard part would be finding someone good enough to keep up. That may make me sound cocky, but I don't wanna team up with some pansy ass that complains about practice times. _Who the hell you tryin' to fool Cullen? You are a stubborn, cocky son of a bitch! _Hah, yeah I guess I am. Jasper's past words filled my head "_Man, I feel sorry for the girl you end up with. But I hope she puts your ass back in your place." _ I'd really like to see a girl catch my attention that would be able to do that!

Grabbing Twister, my back up roping horse, I saddled him up and started leading him to the indoor arena. When I walked in, I stopped dead in my tracks. There in the arena was Isabella on her horse, and I really gotta say this once, D-A-M-N, she looked hot riding her horse. She had a strong seat and you could see the pride in her controlling a huge animal. My mind drifted off to a small little girl on a horse.

_"Edward, I don't know how to ride, I don't want to fall," whined a little girl. _

_"Don't worry Bella, I won't let anything happen to you." I said as I sat in front of her on the old horse, her arms around my waist hanging on for dear life._

Yeah, not the same little girl that was hanging onto me for dear life at the end of the area.

I mounted onto Twister and tried to get him through his workout without paying attention to Isabella, and it was really.... _fucking_.... hard. I don't know how long she was riding or for that matter how long I was even riding, before she got off and started leading her horse out of the arena. Shit, she's walking towards me. _Grow some balls Cullen, it's just a fuckin' chick! _

"O, hey, sorry I didn't know anyone was riding in here," she barely squeaked out. _Yeah, that's right, I have that effect on people. _Like I said, I was cocky.

"It's fine. You probably don't remember me, Isabella, I'm Edward," Damn she's gotta nice body up close. _Edward! You need to think of that scared five year old little girl!_ "You have a nice looking horse, do you use him for any events?" This I knew the answer to, but hell, it was something to get her to talk.

"Yes, I use Sunny for barrel racing, and please call me Bella. Isabella makes it sound like I did something wrong." Damn what was that feeling I had going on right now. O that's right, the feeling of a hot girl in front of me. Time to step it up a notch.

"Ok, Bella, you can ride good. Get a little better and maybe you can ride with us sometime," I couldn't help the smugness in my voice. Yep that did it, Bella stood a little straighter and rose her chin up. Wow, ok, so maybe not the same scared five year old little girl.

"I can probably out ride you any day of the week. And as I recall you do _not_ have your name anywhere within the top of any state in any event for rodeo. So maybe when you get a little bit better, _you_ can ride with _me_!" And with that she walked out of the arena. That just pissed me the fuck off. Who the hell does she think she is?! I worked my ass off for people to know my name in the horse business. _But just because you worked your ass off, and people know your name, don't mean they respect you! _

I decided to switch horses and get ready for the group to show up. Walking Twister down the isle, I noticed Bella leading her horse outside. I stood there shaking my head as Emmett walked in.

"Edward, man, what's up?" He has a smile on his face I wasn't sure about.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" I asked putting Twister in his stall and walked one over to get Jack.

"Well, I think we found you a team roping partner, but I'm not going to tell you who it is yet," Emmett scuffed as he grabbed his horse. I just shook my head at him. Jasper finally walked in and we all got saddled up and headed into the arena. Alice showed up and turned on the radio in the arena with a weird look on her face when the song started and she looked straight at me and winked.

It was a hundred and seven

We werer heading to town

She had her sleeves rolled up

And the windows rolled down

That girl is a cowboy

Robert Earl was singing out

The "Buckin' Song"

With every word that keen was bringing

She was singing along

That girl is a cowboy

(Chorus)

Sometimes the best cowboys

Ain't cowboys at all

She's got my back

Even when it's against the wall

When I need a friend

She's the guy to call

'Cause sometimes the best cowboys

Ain't cowboys at all

So i took her out to show her

How to rope and ride

I can't believe that is was me

That wound up broke and tied

That girl is a cowboy

So that night I decided

We should paint the town

I made it home although

I really don't remember how

That girl is a cowboy

(repeat chorus)

There's just something that a cowgirl has

Ain't no coboys got

Man she's something when she's one of the boys

But something else

Anytime she's not

(repeat chorus)

We were done with warm-ups and I had just backed into the box when Bella walked in. This can't be good. I watched as she walked up to up Emmett, and Emmett got off his horse. O shit, this really can't be good.

"What the hell is going on? Emmett get back on your horse so we can fuckin' practice!" I yelled. Bella just looked at me and scowled. O yes, really not good! She started walking into the roping box for the heeler, and I couldn't believe my eyes! "What the hell are you doing Bella?" She just glared at me so I looked at Emmett who had a smug smile on his face. _Run, run far away Edward. This can't be good! _

"Shut the hell up Cullen, and lets go!" Bella had a smug smile on her face. Today we were using steers instead of the dummy, so I nodded for Emmett to let the steer out. Jack leaped forward, I start to swing my rope and caught the steer, from there it was all down hill. I looked behind me and saw Bella throw her rope and she fucking caught the hind legs! I whipped around and we pulled the steer and I just stared at her.

"Edward, meet your new roping partner!" Emmett's voice boomed from the roping box. I couldn't believe what I just saw, and Bella just stared at me. Looking into her eyes, I almost got lost. There was so much pride in them, and nothing in them reminded me of that scared little girl.

Everything left my mind but one thought, fuck, Bella Swan is gonna give me a run for my money!


	3. I Want A Cowboy

Song For Chapter: I Want A Cowboy by Reba McEntire

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

I Want A Cowboy

* * *

BPOV

_You can do this Isabella. You are Isabella Marie Swan that lives in Forks Washington. Suck it up and deal, you will continue with rodeo and rebuild your name!! _

------

I was so out of it by the time we got back from Seattle. I told Charlie that I was going to go feed Sunny and that I would be back soon. The drive to Cullen Farm was short compared to the drives I've made the last three days. It was also relaxing to not have to worry about all the traffic.

When I parked at the Cullen's, I saw that Sunny was still out in the pasture looking happy. I decided to put hay and grain in his stall before bringing him up. I heard noises coming from the arena and leaned up against the wood from the doorway and watched them. Edward and his friends were so into what they were doing, they didn't even see me. The way they all acted together, messing around and joking, reminded me of the friends I left behind in Phoenix.

_Can't think about that now Bella, you decided what was best for you. No lookin' back now!_

I sighed and pushed myself off of the doorway and walked out to Sunny. As soon as he saw me walkin' up to him, he started to wonder up to me. "Hey boy, you ready for your grain?" His reply was a nicker, as I slid his halter and lead onto him and led him to his stall. I heard someone in the ally way but didn't pay attention to whomever or whatever made the noise. I decided to brush Sunny and was so tired and frustrated, I felt the silent tears run down my face.

I stayed with Sunny for about an hour just brushing and enjoying his company before getting in my truck and headin' back home. _Home, that's new. Do you really consider this place home again? _Pulling up to Charlie's, I noticed the lights were already out. I wondered up to my room, and decided not to unpack anything tonight and just fell into my bed. I swear as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was unconscious.

Waking up the next morning, I realized that I was still in my clothes from yesterday. _Wow, you weren't tired or anything, damn. _Figuring the best course of action was to take a shower first. Once I got to the bathroom, I turned the water on, and while the steam filled the room, I stripped down and stepped in the shower. With the warm water flowing down my body, I began to relax. Being cooped up in my truck with all that driving really did a number on my body!

As the water started to cool down, I decided that it was time to get out. I threw on a pair of my worn in wranglers and a blue tank top. It was really quiet walking downstairs, almost to quiet. I went to the kitchen to grab some breakfast before heading out to the farm and found a note from Charlie.

_-Bells,_

_Sorry for leaving so early, I got called into the station. Enjoy your day and be careful on your drive to the Cullen's farm. _

_-Charlie_

Gotta love short, sweet and to the point Charlie. I grabbed my strawberry breakfast bar and ran out the door to my truck. _Real smart thing to do Bella! _ Half way to my truck, of course, I tripped on air and fell flat on my ass. O yeah, that's a bruise on the ego. Chuckling, I pulled myself up and dug for my keys in my pocket. Jumping into the truck and starting it, I pulled out my Taylor Swift CD and put it in the player. Before I even got to the sixth song on it, I was pulling into the Cullen's.

I didn't see anyone so figured they where most likely still sleeping or not home. After all it is seven in the morning on a Monday. Shutting my truck off and grabbing the keys, I decided to give Sunny some hay to eat while I grabbed my saddle and tack out of the trailer. Once I finally hauled everything to stall, I started putting Sunny's bell boots and splint boots on while he finished eating.

Once he finished eating, I led him out into the ally way and started saddling him. First I put on my barrel racing pad, adjusted it to where it need to be, then threw my saddle up on his back. Reaching under his belly, I grabbed my chinch and pulled my latigo leather and tightened my saddle onto my horses back. I heard Sunny let out a burst of air and just laughed at him while slipping my bridle into place. Swinging myself up into the saddle, I started to walk to the indoor arena, and had Sunny side step to the gate to open it, walk threw, and then close it.

I was working on tight circles when someone else entered the area. Looking up I saw Edward, and memories started to flood my mind, and I lost track of all time.

_My mom was running late to pick me up at school and had asked Esme Cullen to pick me up and take me to her house. I was so excited because they had horses, lots of horses. I loved horses, but had never been on one. Once we got there, the excitement was bubbling it's way out. Once the car was stopped, I followed Edward to the barn. One of the hired hands saddled up a horse for Edward, and I couldn't believe I was going to get to see him ride. Yeah, I had a little crush on Edward Cullen. I followed him to the arena and watched as he got on. _

_"Bella, would you like to ride with me?" I was so scared, but being stubborn as I was, the hired hand helped me on._

_"Edward, I don't know how to ride, I don't want to fall," I squeaked only the way a five year old little girl could._

_"Don't worry Bella, I wont let anything happen to you," Edward said as I put my arms around his waist on hung on for my life. For some unknown reason, I trusted him to not let anything happen to me. Slowly my body began to relax, and I felt so comfortable on that horse, I never wanted to get off. _

I guess in a way, I can thank Edward for getting me into riding. Deciding I had enough riding to hold Sunny over until tomorrow, after all, I forgot how long I had been riding, I decided to call it quits for the day. Walking to the end of the arena, Edward looked up at me and I was lost in those beautiful green eyes that I remember being on a five year old little boy. I was so shocked I got a little embarrassed and chocked out "O, hey, sorry I didn't know anyone was riding in here."

"It's fine. You probably don't remember me, Isabella, I'm Edward," he said in a voice that I could only describe as rough velvet. Little did he know, I knew exactly who he was, even though he might not remember me. "You have a nice looking horse, do you use him for any events?"

_Ok Bella, this is where you talk, you know, move your mouth and let words come out. _"Yes, I use Sunny for barrel racing, and please call me Bella. Isabella makes it sound like I did something wrong." _Hmm, ok, take foot out of mouth here! _

Edward looked lost in thought for a couple of seconds before a smug smile came to play on his face. "Ok, Bella, you can ride good. Get a little better and maybe you can ride with us sometime."_ O hell no he did not just say that! _

No way was I going to let someone I barely knew talk to me like that. I felt the competitive Bella starting to surface and just let her go. "I can probably out ride you any day of the week. And as I recall you do _not_ have your name anywhere within the top of any state in any event for rodeo. So maybe when you get a little bit better, _you_ can ride with _me_!" He really just pissed me off! I started leading Sunny out of the arena and almost to the gate, I looked me behind me and couldn't believe what just happened. Who the hell is that cocky jackass and what happened to that sweet little boy that said he wouldn't let anything happen to me. _Neither of you are five years old Bella, and as far as I can tell your not that shy little girl anymore, so why would he be the same? _

Deciding that I was to pissed off to carry my tack to the trailer, I just led Sunny to it and tied him up, and unsaddled him. I had just started to lead him to the pasture outside when a truck pulled up, and a pixie like girl jumped out and ran up to me.

"Hi! I'm Alice, you must be Isabella?" She asked while pretty much jumping in place.

"Uh, hi Alice, um.. call me Bella please," I said threw clenched teeth from still being pissed off.

"O. Ok well the big guy walking into the barn there is Emmett, and this handsome guy here is my boyfriend Jasper!" Wow maybe she's a pixie on crack.

"Well it's nice to meet you all," I said leading Sunny to the gate.

"Wow, are you ok Bella? You seem really pissed off," Alice said with a concerned look on her face.

All I could do with that look was laugh, and then I felt like a bitch and calmed down and answered "Sorry Alice, I just had a run in with a cocky son of a bitch that needs knocked down from his high horse!" Now it was her turn to laugh.

"I guess that means you've met Edward," hell might as well keep it a secret I know the prick, so I just nodded "Don't worry about him he's just crabby because he don't have a team roping partner."

"Hey Alice, care to help me knock him off that high horse?" I couldn't help the evil plan in my head. Alice nodded, so I went ahead with the plan, "Well I do know how to rope, I was a back up heeler for a friend of mine back in Phoenix. Edward seems to think I can't ride, so if I rope maybe that'll shut him up." She got a devilish look on her face, and I knew we were on the same page. "The only problem is, I don't have a roping horse."

"Don't worry about that. When we pulled up Emmett had the idea for you to try to rope with Edward, he'll let you use his horse!" Now she was jumping all around.

"Sounds good to me, let me finish up settling Sunny in, then I'll head in." She said a quick see ya soon then bounced off to the barn. I was a little nervous the closer I got to walking into that barn. Of course I knew how to rope, and I was good at it. Only problem is, roping is suppose to be a guy sport, so guys tend to take a huge hit to their ego when a woman ropes with them. I heard a Garth Brooks song come on in the arena while I was putting hay and grain in Sunny's stall. Once that was done, I couldn't stall any longer and started to head to the arena.

Perfect timing to, just as I walked in, Edward had his horse backed into the header box. I squared my shoulders and started my walk over to Emmett. He had a huge smile on his face when he started to get off his horse.

"What the hell is going on? Emmett get back on your horse so we can fuckin' practice!" I heard Edward yell. I put on the meanest look I could and looked at Edward as Emmett adjusted the stirrups for me. Emmett helped me on his horse whispering in my ear to blow Edward out of his mind. "What the hell are you doing Bella?" Ha, I think he's really pissed now, o well I'll get over it.

"Shut the hell up Cullen, and lets go!" I couldn't help with the smug smile because I knew he didn't think I could rope by the look on his face. He nodded his head for the steer to be released, his horse bolted after it, and I followed close behind. _Damn this horse knows what the fuck he's doing! _ Edward made a clean catch and started to pull the steer. _Heres your shot Bella, show him your not that scared little girl anymore! _I threw my rope and caught the hind legs of the steer and saw Edward turn as we started to pull it. _O yeah that's right, I can run with the big boys!_

"Edward, meet your new roping partner!" Emmett boomed from across the arena. I looked at Edward, and he almost looked lost staring me in the eyes. I don't know what he was looking for but all to soon his got a look on his face that I knew that I wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"Fuck no! I will _not_ rope with a girl! Fuck that!" He yelled. All I could do was roll my eyes.

"Whatever Edward, you can kiss my ass because I never said anything about wanting to rope with you! Thanks for letting me use your horse Emmett, he's awesome!" I said jumping out of the saddle. I started walking out of the arena and noticed Alice running up to me.

"Bella, that was so cool! I think you knocked him down like you wanted to. You totally kick ass at roping! You should come to the roping clinic tomorrow!" Alice beamed, _damn can I bottle up her energy for later use?!_

"Alice, I'll be here, but it won't be for the clinic," I said looking over at her. _Aww shit! I shouldn't have done that! _She had a full blown puppy dog eyes on me. Damn it! "Fine, I'll show up, but I can't rope. Sunny is strictly used for barrel racing!"

She nodded, and starting thinking, _shit this can't be good_. "I bet Emmett will let you use his horse again!" _You might as well give up Bella, you can already see it won't do you any good to argue with her. Alice is a force to be reckoned with. _I just nodded and said that I needed to go. We said quick good byes as I was getting in my truck. Backing out, I looked over at Sunny in the pasture to make sure he was fine.

Driving on the way home I drove by the station and saw that Charlie was still at work. I pulled into the drive way and parked, stepping out into the light mist that had started. I went inside and grabbed a sandwich and pepsi and headed upstairs to unpack my things.

After falling numerous times, stubbing my toe, running into my bed and four hours later, I was finally unpacked and settled in. Looking at my cell phone, I decided it was time to go back to Cullen Farms and put Sunny in. An hour and a half later I was standing in the warm shower cleaning off all of the dirt and just let my mind wonder.

I started missing the warm Arizona sun, my friends, my mother, and the respect I had there. Silent tears ran down my face and I didn't want to hold them in. I heard Charlie walking up the stairs and decided to get out of the shower. After I dried off, I slipped into my sweat pants and tank top and went to bed.

My alarm woke me up the next morning, and I was in a good mood, until I remembered what Alice had talked me into. _Bye bye good mood, and welcome to hell. _I groaned and rolled out of bed to get ready for my day in hell. I quickly got dressed and headed out the door to start my short drive to Cullen Farms. Pulling up, I saw a lot of trucks and trailers I hadn't seen here before. Sighing I parked my truck by my trailer and got out.

Walkin' into the barn, I started to slow my walking when I saw a man getting his horse ready. He was huge, muscular, dark skinned and hot. I slipped into Sunny's stall before he could see me and until I no longer heard him.

"Bella! There you are." _Holy shit! I think I just had a heart attack! _I looked up to see Alice standing there all smiles, while I'm tryin' to jump start my heart. "You ready to go to the arena?" All I could do was nod and follow her. I followed her to the arena to hear Edward yelling about only God knows what. I rolled my eyes at him and started to talk towards Emmett.

"Hey Bella, glad you could make it. I know you rode him yesterday, but this is Wrangler." Emmett's horse was a beautiful paint stallion. I nodded as he helped me on, "Now you got a feel of what he can do, but believe it or not yesterday he was moving slow." I swear my eyes were about to pop out of my head when he said that. Wrangler had moved fast yesterday, but according to Emmett that was slow, holy shit!

"Emmett, thank you again for helping me out with this." I said to him while grabbing the reins. He answered with a simple no problem and walked to where Edward was standing. Edward matched us up and guess who I was paired up with? Yep you guessed it, that hot guy from the ally way. _Maybe today won't be hell after all. _I found out that hot guy from the ally way actually went by Jake Black. _I like my name better, but I guess Jake is easier to say. _I couldn't help but chuckle at that one.

"Hey, I'm Jake Black, how are you today?" O my, even his voice is hot. _Damn it Bella, pay attention, your not here to pick up hot guys. Although it wouldn't be that bad of an idea. _

"Bella Swan, I'm good, how are you?" That was simple enough.

"I'm fine thanks. Hey did you say your last name was Swan?" I nodded, that's a strange question. "Are you related to Charlie Swan?" O grand, another guy that gets in trouble.

"Yeah, that's my father."

"Wow you have really grown up!" What, wait a minute, how in the hell did hot Jake know me? I guess the dumbfound look on my face gave me away. "Billy Black is my dad." Ok, that name sounds familiar. "We used to hang out when we were little and our dads were fishing." Ahh that explains it!

"O wow, I remember wow long time!" As soon as that was out of my mouth Edward yelled for all of us to get lined up by the boxes. Jake ended up being really good at roping, and like I said before, team roping is more of a guys sport. That left Alice and I, I of course, being the only female roping. At first all the stares I was getting were really pissing me off. Then I entered the box; Jake and I did our run and had a clean catch. Then the stares were replaced with mouths hanging open. _Yes gentleman, that is correct, a woman just owned your asses! _

When the clinic was finally over with, it was around five at night. I helped Emmett out with Wrangler, after all I did ride his horse all day, it was the least I could do, then fed Sunny. I was getting ready to head out to my truck when I saw Jake and Edward talking about something, probably about roping this summer together, when Jake ran up to me leaving Edward waiting for his return.

"Hey Bella wait up!" I stopped and waited for him to catch up. "I was wondering, if maybe sometime you'd wanna go out?" Jake asked shyly. _Aww how cute! _I told him that I would like that, and exchanged phone numbers with promises of calling each other. When he turned to walk back to Edward, I noticed Edward looked pissed compared to when Jake walked up to me. _Wonder what got up his ass? _I laughed and walked out to my truck and started it, putting one of my mixed CD's in. When the first song started playing, I laughed so hard I could barely sing along with it, but somehow I managed.

Everybody told me he was a dream

Picture perfect like he stepped right off the silver screen

Said that he would sweep me off my feet

But i'm still standing no he didn't do it for me

'cause i don't go for all that wine and dine

With the ray ban fake tan never mind

I want a down home up with the sun rise man

A pick-up truck driving bull riding strong steady hand

I want the wranglers stetson and all that stuff

I want the real mccoy

I want a cowboy

I'm tired of talking 'bout it wasting my time

On all the cheap talkers needing me feeding me lines

Give me somebody who's tender but tough

Simple and honest knows a thing or two about love

I've seen enough to know i know what i like

It's the hard working head turning rugged type

I want a down home up with the sun rise man

A pick-up truck driving bull riding strong steady hand

I want the wranglers stetson and all that stuff

I want the real mccoy

I want a cowboy

I've seen enough to know you know what i mean

Ride me off into the sunset that's my thing

I want a down home up with the sun rise man

A pick-up truck driving bull riding strong steady hand

I want the wranglers stetson and all that stuff

I want the real mccoy

I want the real mccoy

I want a cowboy

I want a cowboy a cowboy

Pulling into the drive way at home, I had listened to that song about four times and laughed and sang every single time to. I climbed up the stairs, got in the shower, and then fixed dinner. Every since I left the farm that song kept running threw my head. Going to bed the last thing to run threw my head was; _Sorry Reba, I just found my cowboy! _


	4. Self Made Man

Song For Chapter: Self Made Man by Montgomery Gentry

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Self Made Man

* * *

EPOV

_Everything left my mind but one thought, fuck, Bella Swan is gonna give me a run for my money! _

_----_

She looked so happy that she started to put me in my place. _We can't have that, now can we. _ All at once I shouted with as much venom in my voice as a I could "Fuck no! I will not rope with a girl! Fuck that!" I looked at Bella just as she rolled her damn eyes. What. The. Fuck?!

She started to get out of the saddle saying "Whatever Edward, you can kiss my ass because I never said anything about wanting to rope with you! Thanks for letting me use your horse Emmett, he's awesome!" Alice gave me a dirty ass look before running to catch up with Bella at the end of the arena. Emmett caught my attention, and all at once, I wish I didn't look at him.

"What the hell dude? She is awesome!" I couldn't tell from his voice if he was pissed at me or excited Bella just kicked my ass.

"What? She don't even want to rope, so it don't matter." As soon as that left my mouth Alice came storming back into the arena.

"Edward! How could you? You don't have to be such a fucking ass!" The little pixie was pissed. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. That would just make this ten times worse. "I expect you not to act like a prick tomorrow!"

Whoa, what a second, did she just say tomorrow? "What do you mean tomorrow? I'm going to be busy with the clinic, so I won't be seeing Bella tomorrow."

"And that right there is where you are wrong. Bella decided to come tomorrow. Speaking of, Emmett do you mind if she uses Wrangler tomorrow? I guess she only uses her horse for barrel racing."

"Yeah that should be no problem." Emmett said with a smug look on his face.

"No, she can not go to the clinic tomorrow!" I yelled.

"What's the matter Edward, afraid she'll kick your ass again?" Emmett mocked.

"What the fuck ever!" Leaving the arena, I unsaddled my horse and put him away. Walking back to the house, I noticed Bella's horse was still outside. I'll make sure to do chores once she's gone. I got into the house and went straight for my bedroom to play my piano. I loved that thing, almost as much as my horses, almost. With horses and my piano, I could just lose myself in them, and let my feelings out in actions. I could lose myself for hours, and not even notice the time.

I had gotten so into playing, that I barely noticed it was getting dark outside. Checking to make sure Bella wasn't in the barn, I went out and did chores. Once that was done, I went inside got in the shower, then headed for bed.

It felt like I had just laid down when my alarm clock brought me out of my dreamless sleep. Groaning , I pulled myself out of bed and got dressed to head out to the barn. On my way out, I made a detour to the kitchen and grabbed a breakfast barn then headed to the barn. Half way threw chores, people started to show up for the clinic. I told them to saddle up and warm up in the arena.

Once chores where finished, I walked into the arena. There was about nine people in there so far, and a group of younger guys screwing around so I started yelling at them. _This is going to be a long day! _ I noticed Bella walking up to Emmett, talking to him while getting on Wrangler. I started pairing up teams, leaving Bella to rope with Jake. Jake Black was probably the only guy that wouldn't be butt hurt over being paired up with a female. Bella happened to be the only female riding, like I knew she would be.

By the end of the day, Jake was roping better and I was planning on asking him to rope with me this year. Jake and Bella where the best team that was roping today. Everyone had started to leave, Emmett and Bella left the arena so I knew this was the perfect time.

"Hey Jake, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked him.

"Yeah sure, let me take my horse to the trailer, then I'll head back in." I nodded to him as he started to leave. If he decided to rope with me this summer, then we would be guaranteed to be bringing in checks from winnings. I was lost in thought when Jake came back in.

"So what's up Edward?" He asked a little on the nervous side.

"Well I was wondering if you had a ropin' partner for this summer yet or not?" I asked just as Bella was walking out of the barn.

"Um, excuse me Edward, I'll be right back." He quickly turned and walked towards Bella. I listened as he nervously started to talk to her. Out of the blue, he asked her out! I couldn't believe it, and even more then that, she agreed! _Whoa, why does that bother you Edward? _They exchanged phone numbers and she turned to leave looking at me one last time. I'm not sure what she saw because she just laughed and walked the fuck out of the barn.

"Sorry about that. About the roping, no I don't have a partner this year. I asked Bella, but she said she wanted to focus strictly on barrels this year." Jake said, again for some reason I got pissed about that.

"Well, I'm offering for us to rope together this year." He nodded, agreeing that we would. We came up with a practice schedule and he left. I finished chores and stomped to the house and into bed. _Yes, I stomped, I was pissed, yet I had no idea why. _

A couple weeks had passed by and I saw Jake to practice. We had our time down to where we shouldn't have a problem bringing home a check. I barely saw Bella at all, and when I did she had just got done riding or was doing chores. She seemed to steer clear of me because as Alice puts it "I'm to much of an asshole for my own good." Bella had hauled her horse to Jake's house a couple of times, and I had to listen to how they rode on the beach in La Push together. I'm still not sure why, but it started to really piss me off. I told him he needed to clear his head because we had a rodeo in a week, and he just rolled his eyes.

The following week flew by and I didn't see Bella at all. Friday came time for us to load our horses and leave. Since my dad was going to need our truck, we decided Bella use her truck with our trailer. I loved our trailer, it was an eight horse slant with living quarters. Usually we would have extra stalls in the trailer, but since we were doing a rodeo that was nine hours away in Asotin, we didn't have a single open stall. All of us were taking a horse with me taking two in case someone needed a back up horse. Bella's truck only fit five, so Alice and Rose rode with Bella; leaving Emmett, Jake and I in Jasper's truck.

I was a little nervous with Bella pulling a trailer with two of my horses in it, but after about an hour, I started to calm down since I saw she knew what she was doing. I listened to the guys talk about shit they did with their girlfriends. _Damn Edward, it's time for you to get a chick! _

Jake didn't have much to say about Bella, which pissed me off and made me happy at the same time. Pissed me off because I wasn't learning anything about her, happy because they weren't doing anything worth talking about. As we pulled into the rodeo grounds, as soon as the trucks where stopped the guys guys went to help the girls out of Bella's truck. Me, I just started unloading horses. We put the horses in the stalls on the grounds, and got them settled in for the night. Since the girls were going to be sleeping in the horse trailer, we had to set up tents around the truck.

The following morning we got everything ready for the rodeo. We all decided to go for a short ride to relax ourselves along with the horses. Before we knew it, it was time for the rodeo.

Bella took Sunny off to warm him up and going into their own little world. The rest of us got warmed up for our events. Rose and Alice had decided to do barrel racing in this rodeo so they were stretching their horses.

"Ready to go Jake?" I asked him.

"Yeah, let me just go tell Bella were about to go up." Jake called behind him on the way over to Bella. Once he got there, you could tell that they were talking, and then they kissed, and that pissed me off. I just wanted to hit Jake for kissing her! _She's not your girlfriend Edward. You can't just hit him for being her boyfriend and kissing her, you'd look like an ass. _When Jake made his way back to me, we headed into the arena. Getting into the box, I just couldn't focus on anything but Bella. What the hell is wrong with me? I don't remember much of the run except that I missed my loop.

Leaving the arena, since we were the last to rope, they started to set up the barrels for barrel racing. I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella. The way she was getting ready with her horse was like something I had never seen. It was like she became part of her horse instead of just the rider. They moved together so well, he turned she turned. You could tell Sunny was ready by the way he started to buck a little bit. The way she handled him inside and outside the arena was unbelievable. She entered the arena, and just blocked out everything except her horse and the barrels.

Sunny reared up and then they were off. I had never seen Bella run barrels before, but I could watch her do only this for the rest of my life and be happy. They made a right hand turn around the first barrel, it was such a smooth and sharp turn that Bella's foot almost touched the ground. Her brown hair flying behind her as they made a left hand turn much the same as the first. Going to the third barrel in the clover leaf you could tell Sunny kicked it up a notch, they made the last left hand turn and I swear they were literally flying to the finish line.

At the end of the day, Jasper and Emmett took second place, Jake and I didn't place thanks to me, in barrel racing Rose took sixth place, Alice knocked over a barrel getting a penalty and didn't place, and Bella took one first. After getting the horses cooled down settled in, Alice got really happy.

"Hey guys! Let's go to the street dance!" We walked down to the dance, when Bounce by Timbaland came on and Rose and Alice grabbed Bella and drug her out to dance. The guys just started laughing, that is until we saw them start dancing.

They all started moving their hips ways I didn't know hips where suppose to move. Rose got in front of Bella, leaving Alice behind her. WIth Bella in the middle they all started to grind on each other. I looked at the guys, and they looked just about like me, shocked with jaws hanging on the ground. Alice put her hands on Bella's thighs and started moving slowly up and she got right below Bella's breasts then hang on tightly while she dropped to the ground. Rose turned around and straddled one of Bella's legs and they started dancing together, Bella grabbing the bottom of Rose's shirt to bring her closer.

By the time the song was over, the girls had a nice crowd gathered around them.

"Dude, that was fucking awesome! Who knew country girls could move like that!" Emmett hissed. We were so shocked we didn't notice another song start. Some guy started grinding up on Bella, and she shoved him away but he couldn't take the hint. She finally just punched him. I turned around to see Jake talking to some guy and I yelled at him.

"Jake! Bella just dropped some guy!" He finally turned around to face me and noticed I wasn't joking. He strode over to Bella and they were yelling until she just slapped him and walked off. _Damn, hot and feisty. You need a girl like that. _Jake came back rubbing his jaw and hit the wall beside me, and then I heard it, the sound of bones breaking.

_Fuck, now what! Your roping partner just broke his fucking hand and you still have to rope tomorrow! _

We walked back to the trailer where the girls had disappeared after Bella slapped Jake.

"Edward, what are you going to do now? You can't rope with Jasper or Emmett." Alice whined.

"Since this is kind of my fault, Edward if you would like, I'll rope with you." Bella said threw clenched teeth. I agreed to rope with her the next day with her riding my back up horse, then we all went to sleep.

The next morning Bella thought it would be better if she rode Twister so she could get to know how he rides since there was money going on this ride. Bella saddled up Twister in her roping saddle, and I saddled up Jack, then we went for a ride. I found out a lot about Bella in the hour ride. Like how she actually won her roping saddle. Her friend's roping partner got injured so took his place and by the end of the season, their team ended up being top money earner and won saddles. When Bella wasn't pissed off or being stubborn, she was really nice to be around. It was so easy talking to her when it was just us two. When we got back to the trailer, we unsaddled and I started to listen to my Ipod, and the first song that came on stopped me dead in my tracks.

I could say it's all her fault

She never had any patience at all

I'm a complicated guy

And she didn't try to understand

I could claim I had nothing to do

With the fact I'm lonesome and blue

But that wouldn't be true

I'm a self made man

Yeah I'm the one that fooled around

And let the one who loved me down

She had more of me than she could stand

I blamed everyone but me

But now that it's too late I see

Nobody helped me get to where I am

I'm a self made man

I could blame it on the way I was raised

Or I could say I was just to afraid

To lay my heart in somebody else's hands

I could always make one more excuse

But in the end what's the use

I might as well face

I'm a self made man

Yeah I'm the one that fooled around

And let the one who loved me down

She had more of me than she could stand

I blamed everyone but me

But now that it's too late I see

Nobody helped me get to where I am

I'm a self made man

Oh I blamed everyone but me

But now that its to late I see

Nobody helped me get to where I am

I'm a self made man

Self made man

Self made man

I can't blame anybody but me

I was falling for Bella, hard I might add. But I made myself who I am today, an asshole. It was time to start changed back into that little boy who promised Bella I wouldn't let anything happen to her.


	5. Barrel Racin' Angel

Song For Chapter: Barrel Racin' Angel by Brenn Hill

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Barrel Racin' Angel

* * *

BPOV

Going to bed the last thing to run threw my head was; _Sorry Reba, I just found my cowboy! _

_----_

Practice, practice, practice. It seems like that's all Jake and I have been doing. If I wasn't hanging out with Jake, I was riding and vice versa. I was really starting to hate that I had moved. All this practicing just so I could make it to the top again. Before I knew it the weeks had gone by as we were packing for our first rodeo this season. For everyone else, this was just another rodeo season, for me, it was my first rodeo in the state of Washington. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

"Bella, I think you should take your roping saddle with." Alice was dancing around the trailer. Yes dancing, I really don't know how else to explain it. She was so smooth with the way she moved, and if I had tried to move like that, well lets just say I'd probably be on my was to the ER right now.

"Why would I want to take my roping saddle?" I whined.

"Because we will ride around the rodeo grounds when were not in the rodeo. And you just spent how long cleaning up your barrel saddle?" Alice had a point on that. I had just spend two hours with a damn toothbrush cleaning my saddle. What can I say, I'm in a new state trying to make my name known. I just nodded at Alice and grabbed my roping saddle and put it in the trailer.

With everyones tack and horses loaded we were on our way to the rodeo. Alice and Rose talked about clothes, shopping and about an upcoming rodeo queen pageant. I didn't give to much input because for one I hate shopping and for two I didn't know shit about rodeo pageants. Those where way to girly for me, and I'm to much of a tom boy to really care about how I look. Granted I had nice clothes, but when it came to shopping for me, I'll pass. But if you put me in a tack store, I became a different person! I loved to get new tack.

"So Bella, what's going on with you and Jake?" Rose asked.

"I'm not sure. I mean I like him, and were dating. But I mean, I really can't see myself with him in the future. Is that bad of me to think like that?" I couldn't help the blush that was working it's way up my face.

"Of course not Bella, have fun. Once you meet who you are suppose to be with you'll know." Alice chirped.

"This coming from the pixie that believes in love at first touch!" Rose laughed. They started talking about shopping again, so I ignored them. I started wondering what Alice meant by when you meet that one person you'll know. I didn't have much time to think about it because we pulled into the rodeo grounds. Once the truck was stopped Emmett, Jasper and Jake all came and helped us out of the truck and we started unloaded horses and got them settled in for the night.

The next morning I wanted to relax, being as the only way I really relax is on the back of a horse, I talked everyone into a short ride. It was really relaxing and it helped Sunny get to know the rodeo grounds a little better. I decided to do a ten minute ride in the arena to get a feel for the ground. Sunny would have no problem with his footing tonight.

The rodeo had just started, so I took Sunny off by himself to try and calm him down. It's funny how a horse can just read you. They can always tell if your pissed off and having a bad day, or if it's the best day of your life. I can feel Sunny get excited when the rodeo starts. His muscles get tensed up, and you can feel his power. I was listening to my one of my favorite songs that got me in the mood to run while warming him. I'm not sure onto why I like this song so much, but in a way I feel like it really fits me.

In the Arizona sunlight

In the Colorado moonlight

When she gets there she'll feel alright

Now she's feelin' so tired

She's got her big bay horse

The one they call the Dancin' Sun

The hard-runnin' faithful one

Out in front of all the rest

I pulled on my right rein making Sunny do sharp right handed turns.

She's a Barrel Racin' Angel

Out there somewhere in the west

She's a Barrel Racin' Angel

Out there somewhere in the west

I wish you coulda seen them

At the short-go in Cheyenne

Sundance rolled like a thunderstorm

Fast as lightnin' on the plains

Now they're tired and sore

Still they gotta go some more

'Cause on the road to Las Vegas

There's no place to rest

Making Sunny stop and I pulled on his left rein.

Cowgirls are special when they follow their dreams

Every race is a brand new start

Some are runnin' for the sake of runnin'

Some are runnin' from a broken heart

One thing you gotta know

You can't hold her you gotta let her go

You can't catch a silhouette

She's like ice and she's like fire

They're gonna fly as one

She and Dancin' Sun

Out among the stars

Ahead of all the rest

I get lost in my own world when I'm getting ready, so when Jake came riding up to me, he scared me. "Bella! Edward and I are going into the arena, you going to come watch?"

"No, I'm first up to run, I really need to go all out," I explained. Jake nodded and came up and kissed me. To say I was shocked, yeah that don't even cover it. That was the first time he kissed me since we started dating. Jake nodded and went back to Edward, who looked like he was pissed, but there was some other emotion... jealousy maybe? No, that couldn't be it. _Let it go Bella, you have to get your mind set on barrels, not guys! _

The announcer called for barrel racing to start. Sunny started to buck a little bit on his way in the arena, sure sign he was ready. Walking into the arena, I blocked everyone out. The only thing that was going threw my mind, was Sunny and I doing this clover leaf pattern.

"You ready boy?" I asked and Sunny gave me a little rear and we were heading towards the first barrel. One of the things I love about my horse is he is so smooth going around the barrels. When your on him, he turns so smoothly you just move with him. Looking at the second barrel, we started to head that way. Once we were around the second and third, I let Sunny run all out towards the finish line, it felt like we were flying. Leaving the arena, I had a time that I'm pretty sure would make me place. After calming Sunny down I headed back to the trailer, unsaddled him and got him settled in for the night.

By the time I got done taking care of Sunny, everyone was coming back to the trailer. Alice seemed really excited, which could only bring good news. The guys headed to the trailer while Alice came to stand by me, putting her horse away.

"Bella! You took first place!" Alice sounded as happy as I felt. Maybe it won't be that bad this year. So far I'm off to a good start, first rodeo and took first place. After everyone got done and we all met back up, Alice said we should go to the street dance. I'm not much of a dancer, but since I was still in a good mood from my first place, I decided to go. We were walking down to the street dance when Jake tried grabbing my hand. We were entering the dance when a new song came on. Alice and Rose drug me away from the group and onto the dance floor. I recognized the song Bounce by Timbaland from the movie Step Up 2.

We started moving to the beat of the song, Rose in front of me and Alice behind me leaving me in the middle. We started grinding on each other and I noticed we got a couple of guys watching us. Alice put her hands on my thighs and started moving slowly started to bring her hands up my body stopping right below my breasts, then she started working her way to the ground while Rose straddled one of my legs and started to grind on me. I started to feel bold around these girls, so I grabbed the hem of Rose's shirt and pulled her towards me. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, since I had never done anything like that before.

By the time a new song had started, we had people gathered around us. We kept dancing until I felt a guys hands on me, which I didn't recognize. I turned to see a guy who I had no clue onto who in the hell he was. I shoved him away from me and started to dance with Alice again. The same guy started to dance right behind me and I was starting to get pissed. He just wouldn't get the fucking hint I didn't want to dance with him, so I finally just punched him. I had never let my temper get to me like that before, and I shocked the hell out of myself.

When I finally calmed down, I noticed Jake walking towards me with a pissed off look on his face. _Really not in the mood for this shit! _

"Bella, what the hell was that shit for?" Jake was pissed.

"Well, let's see, some guy I didn't know wouldn't take a hint to leave me alone, so I punched him, end of story!"

"If you weren't dancing the way you were, maybe he wouldn't have even tried!"

"Dancing like what Jake? I was dancing with my fucking friends!" I was starting to get pissed off and worked up again.

"Sure, dancing. You were acting like a stripper, just keeping your clothes on." Jake said through clenched teeth. That was it, I had enough of this bullshit.

"Jake, you have no reason to say that to me!" I couldn't help myself, once again, as I slapped him. I couldn't believe within one night, I had hit two different people, both of which were being assholes! I was half way back to the trailer when Alice and Rose caught up with me. They could tell I was pissed off and didn't say anything. _Maybe they are afraid you'll go on your crazy rampage and hit them to. _I had to laugh at that one making both of them look at me like I was crazy. Maybe moving up here is starting to make me loose my mind?

When we finally got back to the trailer, I had calmed down a little bit. I heard a sound coming up behind me, ready to hit someone else if need be, just to see the guys walking up to us. Jake was holding his hand and just glared at me. He turned towards the EMT's that were still on the rodeo grounds.

"After you slapped Jake and walked off, he hit a wall and I'm pretty sure he broke his hand." Alice whispered beside me. As the guys got closer, I could tell Edward was pissed about something.

"Edward, what are you going to do now? You can't rope with Jasper or Emmett." Alice sounded whiney and sad. I was once again pissed off thinking that this was my fault. If I hadn't gone to the dance, then Jake and I wouldn't have gotten into a fight, then he wouldn't have hit something probably braking his hand, and Edward would have a roping partner for tomorrow. _Ahh, see that's where your wrong Bella. You can rope with him, swallow your pride. _

"Since this is kind of my fault, Edward if you would like, I'll rope with you." I was surprised I got that out through clenched teeth. Edward agreed to me roping with him tomorrow along with using Twister, his back up roping horse. We all decided that it was time to go to bed. Sleep didn't come easy that night. I was up before everyone else, which lead me to thinking. I didn't know how I was gonna deal with the whole Jake thing. I don't know what I could have done for him to talk to me that way. I did decide that no matter what, I wasn't going to date him anymore. I couldn't let a guy talk to me that way and just stand by and act like nothing happened.

Edward woke up shortly after I did. I asked him if I could ride Twister and get a feel of how he moves, which Edward thought was a good idea. I was a little nervous when Edward wanted to go for a ride with just the two of us. I figured he was going to be a jackass and was really surprised when he wasn't. At first it was a little weird riding with just the two of us. He asked what got me into roping and that was an easy subject.

I told him that one of my friends back in Arizona was pretty high up in rankings for team roping when his parter got thrown and broke his arm. I started roping with him and by the end of the season we had become top money earner and that I won the saddle I was riding in at this exact moment. The ride ended back at the trailer and what seemed like a five minute ride was really an hour ride. I was actually kind of sad when I was unsaddling Twister. Besides the point he was an easy going horse, I found out that when Edward wasn't being an ass, I really did enjoy talking to him.

When it was just Edward and I, I saw who he used to be. A nice guy that could open up, and who I felt safe to be around. I started to think back to the first time I rode a horse and sharing that moment with Edward. The cute little boy that I had a crush on, had grown into a God like man with bronze sex hair and the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen. But it was more then that, when he actually let someone in and took down the arrogant ass wall, he was nice, caring, took passion in what he did in rodeo and his horses. Edward was everything I was looking for in a guy.

By the time I figured out that my little crush from when I was five had grown into more then a crush, it was time for the rodeo. I saddled both horses, Sunny with my barrel racing saddle, and Twister with my roping saddle. I warmed Sunny up and when they started calf roping, I started warming Twister up. Since Alice wasn't riding to night I asked her to hang on to Sunny while I was riding Twister.

When Edward and I entered the arena, a lot of guys where looking at me weird and Edward noticed this. I thought he was going to change his mind about roping with me, until I saw him looking at the guys with a smug look on his face. Since we were roping last, we knew we had to beat the time of 8.3 seconds. I backed Twister into the box until his butt hit the corner, and looked at Edward to let him know I was ready. Edward winked at me and nodded for the steer to be let out. Edward made a quick catch with me following right behind him leaving us with a time of 7.5 seconds placing us with first place.

Leaving the arena, all the guys where looking at me like I had two frickin' heads. Edward looked at me behind him and winked at me again, and with that one wink, I became proud that I was able to beat the guys and Edward had faith that we could. I quickly changed horses, handing Twister to Alice and taking Sunny to warm him up a little bit more. My run wasn't as good at it was yesterday and I ended up placing second. Alice and I where heading back to the trailer, when I noticed a girl at the trailer talking to Edward.

"Alice, who is that?" I whispered.

"That would be Kate Danali. She's been trying to get Edward to go out with her for like two years now. She wont take the hint." I could hear the disgust in her voice. I just nodded as we kept walking. As we got closer to the trailer, I really tried to block their conversation out, I really did, but my ears had a mind of their own.

"Come on Edward, it would be really fun." Kate was begging. _Wow begging, really?_

"I'll think about it Kate. But I'm going to be really busy." I heard Edward say as I walked to the other side of the trailer. I wonder what she was begging Edward to do. I was brought out of my thinking when Jake walked up to me. Damn, I've been doing a good job ignoring him, o well guess it had to happen at some point.

"Look Bella, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said what I said to you." I nodded but decided to just keep my mouth shut as the anger from last night came back. Jake must figured I wasn't going to say anything so he continued, "I got really jealous when I saw how everyone was looking at you. And then I saw Edward looking at you, and I just lost it, and I took it out on you. I'm really sorry."

I took my time to calm down before answering because I didn't want another show like last night. "Jake, I'm still pissed at what you said to me. I really don't think we should date anymore." Jake nodded and turned to leave. I finished getting Sunny ready and we all loaded horses up and got onto the road. Alice and Rose where talking again so I went off into my own little world, letting my conversation with Jake sink in. I had never had a boyfriend before Jake, but this didn't hurt like I thought a brake up would. It was like we were never really suppose to be together.

Then part of that conversation hit me a million pounds, Edward._ "And then I saw Edward looking at you, and I just lost it, and I took it out on you. I'm really sorry." _The way Edward was looking at me? Edward couldn't have looked at me any special way, could he?

"Bella! Damn it Bella answer me or were going to go shopping!" Alice yelled. Whoa! The word shopping brought me out of my own world. "What is going on with you! What the hell are you thinking about?"

I was shocked with the words that tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Alice, I think I have feelings for Edward."

* * *

**Hey everyone, sorry it took me a long time to get this chapter done. I'm still not very happy with it, but I think it's the best I'm gonna get it. Thanks for reading! I'm working on Chapter 6 tonight. **


	6. Look At You Girl

Song For Chapter: Look At You Girl by Chris LeDoux

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Look At You Girl

* * *

EPOV

I was falling for Bella, hard I might add. But I made myself who I am today, an asshole. It was time to start changed back into that little boy who promised Bella I wouldn't let anything happen to her.

-----------

I was so caught up in thinking, that Alice had to tell me to saddle my horse. Bella already had both horses she was going to use saddled and warmed up. Walking up to the arena with Bella was well, funny. The way the guys would look at her like she was lost, then saw me riding with her and got smug looks on their faces. They probably thought I lost my mind roping with a girl, but I knew that Bella could rope and was damn good at it. After leaving the arena with the new information that her and I had won the team roping, the guys looking at Bella kind of pissed me off.

Bella hurried and changed horses while I went to the trailer. I had just got my saddle off when Kate Danali came walking up to me. Kate was a nice girl to look at and hang out with. She has been trying to date me for the last couple of years and I had yet to brake down and do it.

"Edward, how nice to see you here!" Kate cooed.

"Kate, you decide not to run this year?" Kate was known as a top barrel racer in the state. She didn't have much competition before, but now she's got Bella going against her.

"No, my horse got injured, so I'm looking to buy a new one."

"I'm sorry to hear that. What do I owe the pleasure of you coming to talk to me?" Of course I already knew the answer.

"Well I'm going to be passing through Forks soon and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out or do something?" Kate purred.

"I don't know Kate."

"Come on Edward, it would be really fun," Kate sounded like she was begging. Wow, begging, maybe I should just give in. I saw Bella walking up and she looked mad about something as she made her way to the other side of the trailer.

"I'll think about it Kate. But I'm going to be really busy." Kate nodded and kissed me on the cheek before walking off. That was the closest I've gotten to agreeing to go out with her. I was putting shipping boots on Jack when Jake walked up to me and mouthed asking where Bella was; I just nodded my head to the other side of the trailer. I knew that they were going to have to talk after last night. I'm not sure what he said to her, but Bella has been avoiding Jake at all costs it seems like. I was opening the trailer door to load Jack up when I heard Jake start talking, "Look Bella, I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have said what I said to you." When I was tying Jack up, I looked out the window to see Bella looking pretty pissed off. "I got really jealous when I saw how everyone was looking at you. And then I saw Edward looking at you, and I just lost it, and I took it out on you. I'm really sorry"

Whoa! Wait a minute, the way I was looking at her? I didn't even think Jake was paying attention to our group, let alone me. I didn't think I was looking at her any special way, was I? _Of course dumbass, you were thinking you wanted a girl that could dance like that! _

"Jake, I'm still pissed at what you said to me. I really don't think we should date anymore." Bella said in a calm way, which kind of worried me. The look on her face and the way she was talking was totally off. Everyone loaded up their horses and we made our way home. Jake kept glaring at me from the back seat and I couldn't help but think what he had said about the way I looked at Bella.

We made it home really fucking early on Monday morning. After we all got horses settled in and the trailer unhooked from Bella's truck, everyone went home. Once Rose and I got inside, she headed to her room and I went to the kitchen where I knew dad would be.

"Morning son, how was the rodeo?" Carlisle asked from behind his newspaper.

"Good, Saturday Jas and Em took fifth in roping and Bella took first in barrels. Sunday Bella and I took first in roping and Bella took second in barrels." I said between yawns.

"Ok, I get Bella, Jas and Em placing, but how do you get Bella and you?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

"Well you know how Jake and Bella where dating?" Carlisle nodded. "Well Saturday night they got in a fight, Jake hit a wall and broke his hand, so Bella ended up roping with me."

"Oh, I didn't know she knew how to rope. But I'm glad that you guys seemed to place well." I nodded on my way to get a bottle of water.

"Yeah, she's really good. I'm going to ask her to finish the season as my partner." Dad just nodded and we said our goodbyes so he could get to work. I headed upstairs, stripped down and took a showering heading to bed shortly after. By the time I woke up and headed out to the barn, Bella was already there.

"Hey Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute?" You could hear the nervousness in my voice. Bella nodded and we walked to the office area in the barn. "Bella, since Jake cant rope for the rest of this season, I was wondering if you would be interested?" I saw her wince a little bit at the sound of Jakes name. Whatever he said to her must have really got to her.

"Well I would, but I don't have the time to try to find a roping horse to buy." I nodded and started thinking if I knew of any. Then an idea came to me.

"Bella, what do you think of Twister?"

"He's an awesome horse, easy to handle, smart and knows how to do his job." She ended with a huge smile on her face, that's all I needed.

"What would you say to buying him?" Bella had a shocked look on her face and went to say something before I cut her off. "Bella, he's my back up horse, one that I barely use. He needs someone who is going to use him all the time, and someone to take care of him." Bella agreed to buy him, signing over a check and I handed her his papers. "Bella, congratulations on your new purchase!"

A couple of days had pasted since Bella bought Twister and she was doing really good on him, she even decided to start break away roping along with being my team roping partner. Kate had called me and told me that she was going to be going through Forks today and I agreed to meet up with her. She was stopping by the barn and I decided to give her a chance on dating. We had been talking for about an hour when I finally decided to man up and ask her.

"Kate, I was wondering if you wanted to go out, like date each other?" _Wow, could I sound anymore like a chick? _Kate nodded and lunged at me, and taking my lips in a kiss. I wrapped my left hand around her waist, putting my right hand behind her neck to deepen the kiss. When oxygen came into play of us needing it, I pulled away from her and noticed her face was a little flushed and her lips were swollen from kissing.

"Edward, I'm happy that I can finally call you my boyfriend!" Kate gave me a quick kiss again. We turned when we heard a noise behind us. Bella was walking up the ally way with Twister, getting ready to head into the arena. She looked embarrassed for walking up to us.

"Um.. sorry to interrupt, but um.. Edward where we still going to practice today or not? If not that's cool, I was just wondering." I looked down at my watch and realized Kate and I had been pretty much making out longer then I thought we had been.

"Shit, sorry Bella, I didn't realize it was time for practice. Of course were still going to, I'll get Jack and meet you in there?" Bella nodded and walked into the arena. When I looked at Kate she had a questioning look on her face.

"Isn't that Isabella Swan?" I nodded. "Since she barrel races, why are you going to practice?" _Did I just hear a hint of jealously? _

"Bella is my new roping partner since Jake broke his hand." Kate nodded in understanding. As I was walking to get Jack, we said our goodbyes and shared another kiss. Practice when really well like it always did. Two weeks had gone by with all of us practicing and going to one rodeo, which Bella and I took second to Emmett and Jasper as well as Bella taking first in barrel racing. It was a rare nice day in Forks with no clouds in sight. Emmett, Jasper, Bella and I were practicing when Rose and Alice came into the arena.

"Hey guys, what would you say to going on a trail ride?" Alice said bouncing over to Jasper.

"That sounds like fun. All we've been doing is practicing all the time!" Bella yelled with excitement in her voice.

"Well since you guys are already saddled, Rose can ride double with Emmett and I can ride double with Jasper!" Alice said while getting on Jaspers horse. We all headed out to ride on the trails and had a relaxing ride. It was fun to just joke around with everyone and all of us putting our guards down. I couldn't remember the last time we all day fun like this together. We had been riding for an hour and a half and decided to head back to the farm. We were half way back when a deer went running across our path spooking Twister, as he started bucking.

"Hang on Bella!" Alice and Rose yelled at the same time. I had never seen that horse buck, and I was thankful that he never did when I was riding him, but I felt bad for Bella. She stuck with him for a couple of bucks when he jumped sideways while bucking, making Bella get thrown.

"Fucking son of a bitch!" Yep Bella was pissed. By the time she was standing back up, Twister had already taken off towards the barn. Bella started stomping that way, clearly pissed off. Although I had never seen a girl ride that well in my life, sticking with a bucking horse for so long.

"Bella, where are you going?" You could hear the worry in my voice.

"Back to the fucking barn, to get my fucking horse! Is that ok with you!?" O yeah, Bella was pissed.

"Get on with me, we can ride double back." I said stopping beside her. Bella looked hesitant when she looked between me and Alice. Alice nodded for her to go ahead, and I couldn't help but wonder what the hell was just said in that nod. I took my foot out of the stirrup and leaned to the right side of Jack while Bella but her left foot in the stirrup and swung up to settle in behind me. We all decided to walk back to the barn figuring Twister would just end up back in his stall. Bella put her hands around my waist, and leaned forward into my back with a groan.

"Bella, are you ok?" I whispered to her.

"Yeah, I just haven't gotten thrown in a long time. Takes a bit hit to my ego and body." She groaned again and remained quiet for a little while. "This reminds of me of the old days," Bella said barely above a whisper. I don't know if I was suppose to hear or not but I couldn't help but think back to that day.

"I guess I didn't go a very good job did it?" I turned my head to see her. She had a confused look on her face. "As I recall I made you a promise?" She still looked confused, so I decided to just recite the promise again, "Don't worry Bella, I won't let anything happen to you." Alice looked over at me with wide eyes. I remember telling Alice the day after Bella came over and rode that I had a crush on her and I was going to make her my girlfriend.

"You do remember?" I nodded at Bella. "Well since you remember, I guess now is the time to tell you thank you." Now it was my turn to be confused. "That was the first time I had ever been on a horse, it was also the time that I decided that whatever I was going to do with my life, it had to involve horses."

"O, well, I guess your welcome?" It came out sounding more as a question then a statement. Alice just winked at me as Bella started to relax behind me. I really started to enjoy Bella for who she was other then just my roping partner. Though roping did make us spend a lot of time together, and we would get frustrated and yell at each other, I really got to know Bella. I could tell by the looks on her face if she was pissed, nervous or worried. I started to see Bella as a strong beautiful woman who could stand her own ground and was stubborn enough to stick by what she said.

When we got to the barn I noticed Kate's car there and was surprised. Apparently so was everyone else since they gave me a funny look. Kate came walking out of the barn leading Twister and I felt Bella tense up beside me.

"There you are Edward! I saw your horse standing by a stall and got worried when I couldn't find you." I stopped by Kate as Bella swung off.

"That is actually my horse, we were trail riding; he got spooked and I got thrown." Bella said grabbing Twister from Kate. "Thank you for catching him for me."

"No problem Isabella, maybe you should keep to riding in the arena until you get a little better at riding so you can stay on your _own _horse." Kate sneered. Bella glared at her then me before walking into the barn where the others had gone off to. I looked at Kate and couldn't believe she just said that. I started walking to the barn to unsaddle Jack with Kate following behind me.

"Kate, that really was uncalled for. After Bella got thrown she started walking back. Since everyone else was already doubled up, I told her to ride back with me." I tried to keep calm. "I wasn't planning on you coming by, if I would have known I wouldn't have gone for a ride. Speaking of which, why did you stop by?" I asked as I stopped in the cross ties behind Bella.

Kate seemed to be over her bitch fit since she got a huge smile on her face. "I thought I would be the first to tell you! I bought a new barrel racing horse!" I heard Alice mumble something to Bella. She turned and looked at me with a worried expression that turned into a smug look. I was confused for a minute until I realized the smug look wasn't towards me, but towards Kate. Kate finally looked to see Bella, then stepped in front of me and put her arms around my neck before giving me a quick kiss. "Now that I have a new horse, I can start knocking people back to the ground where they belong and take my winning spot back at rodeos," Kate said in a sweet voice.

Bella snorted before she and Alice broke out into a laugh. I looked up at them just as Kate turned in my arms to look at them. "Shit! Sorry Kate....that was the best.... fucking joke I have heard.... all week!" Bella got out between laughs and intake of air. O shit this aint good!

"Bella, dear, your new to this barrel racing thing, so I'll let that one slip."

"Kate, that's enough." I said in a calm voice trying to keep everyone else calm. By this time Rose had joined Alice and Bella.

"For one, I am not new to barrel racing. I have been doing it for over ten fucking years. For two, I don't need you to let anything slip on my part. I guess it's you being the "best" against me who is _the_ best." Yep, stubborn Bella was back. She led Twister to his stall and the three girls left with Jasper and Emmett looking after them with mouths hanging open.

"Did she really just say that to me and walk off?" Kate was clearly shocked, as where the rest of us.

"Yep she did! I can't believe Bella just grew some balls and stuck up for herself!" Emmett yelled as Jasper doubled over with laughter. Kate left shortly after that stating she was going to go pick up her new horse. I was shocked and kind of turned on by Bella yelling like that at Kate. She must still be pissed off from getting thrown, but it was nice to meet a woman who wasn't fake and sugar-coated things. Someone who spoke their own mind, and stuck behind what they said.

The following week flew by and before I knew it we were loading horses up for another rodeo. Kate had made it clear many times during the last week she didn't like the point that Bella and I were roping partners which meant she didn't like us spending more time with each other. I told her there was nothing going on, that we were just roping partners, even though the more I said it, the less I believed it. Whenever I was around Bella, I was a different person. I opened up to her as she did with me. When I wasn't around her, I started to get a feeling of loneliness that I wasn't fond of.

Since the rodeo was close, the girls took Bella's truck and trailer and the guys took Jasper's truck and trailer. The girls left a day before us, since Rose and Alice had talked Bella into trying out for a pageant. Don't ask me how they got her to do it, but they did. When we finally made it to the rodeo grounds, the girls where just coming back from the pageant.

Bella was in a white leather dress with blue fringe on the bottom, and blue around the sleeves. Her hair was in loose curls and she just looked gorgeous! Alice was in a green dress that had flower designs around the bottom and bust area, with her short black hair pinned back. Rose had on a white dress with a lot of fucking pink on it, but it looked right on her. They greeted us as we started unloading the horses, and they quickly went in Bella's trailer to change clothes. Kate came up to the trailer and it seemed like Bella just disappeared. I didn't see her again until we were getting ready to go to the arena and rope.

We all ended up placing in our events. Bella looked a little smug when she looked at Kate who she had beat in barrel racing. I couldn't help but laugh trying to cover it up with a cough when Kate glared at me. We decided to go to the street dance and the girls said they would meet us down there. Kate walked down with us and we started dancing once we got there. Emmett got a text from Rose stating they were entering the dance, and when we looked at them all of our jaws dropped.

Walking into the entrance there was Bella, Alice, and Rose. Bella was in tight jeans and a sliver halter top that showed the valley between her breasts and cowboy boots, Alice was in a jean mini skirt, a black tank top and high heel boots that came to her thighs, and Rose was in tight jeans with a white corset with brown trim and cowboy boots. To say they were probably the hottest girls here would be an understatement! I felt Kate smack me upside the head and looked at her mouthing sorry. Rose, Alice and Bella went out and started dancing with Emmett and Jasper following closely behind. Kate decided to dance so we went out there. That's when I noticed Bella was dancing with someone who I never thought I would see her with, Seth Clearwater.

Seth was a nice guy that hung out around with Jake every once in awhile. Where Jake did roping, Seth did rough stock as in bull riding and saddle bronc riding, and he was good at both. A slow song came on and Kate pulled me to her. I wrapped my arms around her waist and started moving.

Just look at you, girl

Standin here beside me

Starlight on your hair

Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere

And look at me, girl

You got me actin just like a lover

In an old time picture show

And how I got the part -- I just dont know

But its written all across your face

Plain as it can be

Youre the one that I was lookin for

Now youre all that I can see

Looking over at Seth and Bella, I noticed just how beautiful she is.

You mean everything to me

And Id do anything to have you stay forever

Im an ordinary man

But I feel like I could do anything in the world

When I look at you, girl

Seth was looking at Bella like she was the only woman here. She deserved that.

Just look at you, girl

Walkin here beside me

Misty morning light

I see my own reflection in your eyes

And just smile at me, girl

With eyes that tell a story

That words can never say tellin me your love is gonna stay

And were standin right together now

In everything we do

And if my world should come apart

Ill still be lovin you

You mean everything to me

And Id do anything to have you stay forever

Im an ordinary man

But I feel like I could do anything in the world

When I look at you, girl

Watching Bella and him dancing, I started to get jealous. _Edward, she is your roping partner, not girlfriend. You can't feel this way about it. _To late, I already do.


	7. Bring It On

Song For Chapter: Bring It On by Kevin Fowler

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Bring It On

* * *

BPOV

I was shocked with the words that tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them. "Alice, I think I have feelings for Edward."

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Have you ever had one of those moments where you wish you could go back in time and erase what you just said? Oh yea, I'm totally in that damn moment! Alice started to squeal so loudly, my damn ears felt like they where going to start to bleed at any freakin' moment.

"You what?! Wow! This is so exciting!" Alice yelled out. "But why do you have feelings for him? I mean he can be a total ass sometimes?"

"Yeah, he can be. But I also know he hasn't always been like that. He was sweet when he was little, and when we went for a ride this morning, he dropped the walls." I sighed. How in the hell could my little crush become something more?

"Well what happened between you and Jake?" Rose finally spoke up for the first time since this conversation had started.

"O God, I don't want to talk about him, but I ended it, end of story with Jake."

"Well now you just have to find the right time to approach Edward!" Alice squealed. The rest of the drive home was fairly quiet. I thought about what Alice had said about approaching Edward, could I really do that? When I'm around him I feel different, like we are the only two people in the world. Time and everything around use don't exist, to bad it can't stay like that at all times. The drive was long, with Alice and Rose falling asleep. By the time we got back to the farm, I could barely stay awake. We unloaded horses, did chores, unhooked the trailer from my truck and I headed home.

Walking up the stairs to my room, all I could think about Edward. When I closed my eyes, I saw his emerald green eyes looking back at me. After two hours of trying to sleep, I got up and took a shower and then headed to the farm. When I got there, I put Sunny in one of the turn out pens then cleaned his stall. Half way through cleaning his stall, I heard someone come into the barn.

"Hey Bella. Can I talk to you for a minute?" I think I ended up jumping I swear five feet in the damn air! I nodded and followed him into the barn office. I didn't know what he wanted to talk about so I was a little nervous and didn't know what to think. "Bella, since Jake can't rope for the rest of this season, I was wondering if you would be interested?" Just memory of how Jake and I ended things make me wince and a chill go down my spine.

I thought about it, I did enjoy ropin' with Edward, and I would get closer to him. Maybe what Alice said was true, I needed to approach him and this was my chance. _Only one problem, you don't have a roping horse. _"Well, I would, but I don't have the time to try to find a roping horse to buy." Edward looked like he was thinking hard about something, then turned into a smile.

"Bella, what do you think of Twister?"

"He's an awesome horse, easy to handle, smart, and knows how to do his job." I smiled remembering riding Twister yesterday.

"What would you say to buying him?" At first I was shocked he would consider selling his horse. I was about to say there was no way that I could buy him when Edward spoke up. "Bella, he's m back up horse, one that I barely use. He needs someone who is going to use him all the time, and someone to take care of him." I thought hard about it, and how Twister would be the horse to take me somewhere if I were to decide to make a career out of roping. I nodded and agreed that I would buy him. I went to my truck and grabbed my purse, and went back into the office. A new horse, new paper work to transfer Twister into my name, left me $3,500 more broke, thank God for all the money I won last year. "Bella, congratulations on your new purchase!"

Since I had a roping horse, I had been practicing team roping, break away roping, plus barrel racing with Sunny and days had been flying by. One day I was heading into the arena to practice and had to meet Kate first hand and all I can say is bitch. I felt kind of embarrassed for interrupting them, they seemed to be having a heated conversation, o well.

It had been a couple of weeks since I had to meet Kate. We were riding in the outdoor arena since it was a rare nice day. I had just loosened my slack on a steer when I saw Alice and Rose walking up the arena.

"Hey guys, what would you say to going on a trail ride?" Alice winked at me before walking over to Jasper. _What are you up to you little pixie? _ I was to excited to think to much into it.

"That sounds like fun. All we've been doing is practicing all the time!" I yelled.

Alice started to get on Jasper's horse while spitting out, "Well since you guys are already saddled, Rose can ride double with Emmett, and I can ride double with Jasper!" Just leaving the arena, I started to relax. It had been a long time since I had gone for a ride, just because, without practice. Once we got on the trail, we all started laughing and having fun. We all seemed to relax and just enjoy this ride, it seemed like everyone just needed this ride to relax. We started to head back to the barn and were probably way back, when I felt Twister tense up. After I felt that, I knew this wasn't going to end good. A deer, yes a fucking deer, ran out of the damn trees and spooked Twister. He immediately started to buck and I heard people yelling for me hang on. This horse could fuckin' buck like no other horse I had been on, but I stayed with him, until the jackass decided to jump sideways and I lost my balance.

Flying threw the air never hurts, it's always the fucking ground deciding to say hello that does. "Fucking song of a bitch!" I was pissed, I can't even remember the last time I had got thrown from a damn horse! And worse yet, I got thrown from my horse in front of my fucking friends, and now since my damn horse ran back towards the barn, I had to fucking walk back with a sore ass! I pulled my sore ass up off the ground and starting walking back to the barn. Ok maybe walking isn't the word for it, I could feel my anger in my feet, so I was probably stomping.

"Bella, where are you going?" I looked around to see Edward, and my anger flared up again. Just looking at him and everyone else reminded me that I had been thrown in front of my friends.

"Back to the fucking bard, to get my fucking horse! Is that ok with you!?" I yelled, and I instantly felt bad for yelling at Edward since he didn't do anything to me. He rode up next to me on Jack and shocked the shit out of me when he said, "Get on with me, we can ride double back." I started thinking about it, it would save my sore ass walking that far. Then Alice's voice came into my head, _well now you just have to find the right time to approach Edward. _I looked at Alice, and she must have been thinking the same thing I was as she nodded at me. Edward took his foot out of the stirrup, and I swung myself behind him and the saddle.

We had been walkin' for a little bit when my back started hurting, so I put my hands around Edward's waist and leaned forward, and couldn't help the groan that escaped my mouth from the muscles pulling in my back.

"Bella, are you ok?" Edward whispered in my ear.

"Yeah, I just haven't gotten thrown in a long time. Takes a bit of a hit on my ego and body." I groaned because I can't believe I just freakin' said that. Leaning against Edward like this made me think of the first time I had ever rode a horse. _This reminds me of the old days. _

"I guess I didn't do a very good job did I?" I leaned back a little confused. Was I in my own world long enough to miss a conversation between everyone? "As I recall I made you a promise?" I started searching my brain, what the hell did Edward promise me? "Don't worry Bella, I won't let anything happen to you." Then every thing clicked into place, I wasn't the only one to remember that first time we rode together.

"You remember?" Edward nodded and I figured now was as good as time as any. "Well since you remember, I guess now is the time to tell you thank you." Edward let that sink in but still had a confused looked on his face. _Ha now it's your turn to be confused! _"That was the first time I had ever been on a horse, it was also the time that I decided that whatever I was going to do with my life, it had to involve horses."

Edward was shocked and managed to choke out, "Oh, well, I guess your welcome." We stayed quiet the rest of the ride back, and I couldn't help but relax around Edward. Maybe now that I got out in the open that he was the reason I was into horses, that maybe it was time to move forward and start to hint towards my feelings towards him and see where that leads us. I could only hope that maybe since we had been hanging out a lot more due to roping, that maybe he started to like me to.

I saw the barn start to come into view, then when we got into the driveway I saw a car I hadn't seen before there. I looked at everyone else and saw they had a weird look on their faces and were all looking at Edward. And then I saw the bitch and knew who belonged to that fucking car. Kate was walking out of the barn with my horse and I got pissed. _What the fuck is she doing here?_

"There you are Edward! I saw your horse standing by a stall and got worried when I couldn't find you." Wow, just her voice was getting on my nerves, but her touching my horse was really pissing me off. Kate stopped walking once she got close to Edward, and I wanted to be anywhere but where I fucking was at this moment, so I swung off of Jack. I didn't want her touching my horse or being around me.

"That is actually my horse, we were trail riding; he got spooked and I got thrown. Thank you for catching him for me." What I really wanted to say was, why the fuck are you here and why don't you just crawl back under the fucking rock you came out from. I grabbed my horse and started to turn away, when she decided she wanted to talk.... again.

"No problem Isabella, maybe you should keep to riding in the arena until you get a little better at riding so you can stay on your _own_ horse." I couldn't believe this bitch! She thought I made my horse throw me, just so I could ride with Edward. I turned to walk back into the barn where Emmett and Jasper where unsaddling their horses. Why was she being such a bitch when it came to Edward. I mean damn, I know she's liked him for a long time, but it's not like their together... wait, could they be!?

"Guys, do you think that Kate and Edward are together?" I asking in a panicky tone, because shit, if they were together, then I wouldn't be able to even have a fucking chance with him!

Alice looked just as panicked as I sounded. Before she could answer Edward and the bitch walked in together. I tried to ignore Edward unsaddling his horse behind me, because I really didn't want to hear anything that bitch had to say.

"I thought I would be the first to yell you! I bought a new barrel racing horse!"

I turned around and looked at Edward with a worry face, Alice must have seen it because she mumbled, "Don't worry Bella, even on her best day she couldn't beat you." Since Alice knew Kate better then I did, with her saying that to me, I turned just a little smug. Kate finally looked at me and my _little_ smug became _a lot_ smug. Kate moved in front of Edward and put her arms around Edward neck and gave him a kiss. I looked at Alice, I guess we both just had our answer onto if there together or not.

"Now that I have a new ho rse, I can start knocking people back to the ground where they belong and take my winning spot back at rodeos."

I couldn't help the snort that came from me. I turned to look at Alice, who had the same look on my face and probably thinking the same thing I was about what she said earlier. Just that one look, and we busted up laughing, soon Alice was doubled over. Kate turned to look at me like we were fucking crazy. _Hmm maybe we were, might have to look into that at a later date. _I was laughing so hard I could barely spit out, "Shit! Sorry Kate....that was the best....fucking joke I have heard....all week!" My sides where starting to ache from laughing so hard.

"Bella, dear, your new to this barrel racing things, so I'll let that one slip." With that one statement from the bitch sobered me right up. I couldn't believe this, who the fuck did she think she was. I could feel the anger building up all over again.

"Kate, that's enough." Edward warned, you could tell he was trying to keep this situation under control. Rose and Alice had grabbed my arms trying to keep me in place, which was probably a good idea. I wanted nothing more then to slap the smugness off that bitch's face.

"For one, I am not new to barrel racing. I have been doing it for over ten fucking years. For two, I don't need you to let anything slip on my part. I guess it's you being the "best" against me who is _the_ best." I grabbed Twister, put him in his stall, then walked out of the barn. I tried to calm down, but before I could walk very far Rose and Alice had caught up with me. "What the fuck is her problem!?" I yelled to nobody in particular.

"She's worried that your going give her the ass beating she needs in barrel racing!" Rose yelled.

We got in my truck to head into town. When I stared the truck, the CD came to life and started to play a song.

I was born on the wrong side of the tracks

And all my life I've had to kick and fight

When the world comes after me

I aint one to start a fight

But I'll stand up for what's right

This sleepin dog, he'll bite

If you wanna mess with me

I got a huge smile on my face and said, "Well if that bitch thinks that I'm just going to lay down, and not do anything about it, she's wrong. She can fucking bring it on!" Alice and Rose got where I got that from and started singing the song with me.

Bring it on, hell I aint scared

I've been beat up, beat down

Walked on, pushed around

But I'm still standin here

Bring it on, see what you got

If you think you want a piece of me

Then give it your best shot

Just bring it on

Yeah bring it on

Mama said it don't make you weak

If you turn the other cheek

But I'll be damned if I'll be whooped on anymore

Like a snake better let me be

Oh no don't tread on me

If you mess with this boy

Well, you just might get the horn

Bring it on, hell I aint scared

I've been beat up, beat down

Walked on, pushed around

But I'm still standin here

Bring it on, see what you got

If you think you want a piece of me

Then give it your best shot

Just bring it on

I've been knocked down once or twice

Got right back up again

When this world tries to get me down

I'll punch it right on the chin and say

Bring it on, hell I aint scared

I've been beat up, beat down

Walked on, pushed around

But I'm still standin here

Bring it on, see what you got

If you think you want a piece of me

Then give it your best shot

Just bring it on

We were laughing by the time the song ended. The song described me perfectly. I had been threw hell, walked on and pushed around when I was in Arizona to get to the top, and I was not going to let that shit happen here. I wasn't scared of Kate, and I didn't like to fight, but I was tired of being walked on. I dropped Rose and Alice off at Alice's house and went home to relax. The following week flew by and before we knew it we were loading horses for another rodeo. Somehow during the week Alice and Rose talked me into entering for a pageant, so we were leaving a day before the guys.

Walking into the room with all these girls dressed up, I really felt out of place. They all looked beautiful and they knew what they were doing. I stumbled my way threw the whole day, after what seemed like years, we were finally on our way back to the trailer. We saw the guys where pulled up next to us and gave them a quick greeting before entering my trailer to change. I was so happy to be back in my regular clothes. I got my horses saddled and ready to go when I saw Kate walking over to the trailers. I rolled my eyes and led my horses to the arena, I didn't see Edward until we were about to enter the arena.

Being around Edward since I knew he was dating Kate, was awkward and really sucked. I still had feelings for him and they just seemed to keep getting deeper. We made it through the rodeo, and after barrel racing I couldn't help but rub it in Kate's face a little bit that I beat her. Since we all agreed earlier to go to the street dance, the guys headed down there with us telling them we would meet them down there.

"Come on guys! I can't wear this shirt!" The shirt was a silver halter top with the "v" plunging down below my breasts. It was sexy as hell, but I couldn't see myself in it.

"Bella, come on! You need to find a guy and this shirt will give you the confidence you need!" Alice yelled at me. I finally gave in, wearing the silver halter top with my worn in jeans and cowboy boots. Alice decided to wear a blank tank top with a jean skirt and knee high heel boots, Rose wore a white corset with brown trim, jeans and cowboy boots. Looking in the mirror, I did have to admit, we were fucking hot. We walked down to the street dance, getting many glances from guys. Rose sent Emmett a text letting him know we were here. Walking through the dance entrance, I saw Edward and Kate, and I got a feeling I had never felt before. I saw her all over him and I started to think that I should be the one doing that, not that bitch. I didn't like this feeling and didn't know what it was or what to do with it.

We walked out to the dance floor and started dancing. Emmett and Jasper joined us and we were having a good time. Then it hit me like a fucking truck ran me over, I was was jealous over Kate and Edward. I wanted to be in Kate's place but I couldn't be. I didn't like this feeling, but I knew I could do something about it. I felt someone start dancing behind me and turned around, ready to punch someone, but when I did, I found myself looking into beautiful sky blue eyes.

"Hi, I'm Seth, I noticed you were alone and was wonderin' if ya wanted to dance?" All I could do was nod and I think I mumbled my name. The rest of the night went like that, I danced with Seth and started talking. I found out that he was going to be going to the same school I was, but lived in La Push. He was a senior like all of us, and did rough stock riding, but mainly bull riding. When we left to head home, Seth and I exchanged phone numbers and promises of getting together.

Before I knew it, the summer was over and I would be starting school at Forks High School tomorrow. Seth and I had gotten close over the summer, but I also fell for Edward more. We all ended up sitting pretty good by the end of rodeo season, and I ended up beating Kate in standings.

I met everyone at school and it was probably the most boring day of my life. In fact the next three weeks where like that: boring. Friday after school, I was walking out of school, when Alice game jogging up to me.

"Bella! Let's go, were going dress shopping!!" Alice squealed.

"Dress shopping for what?" I asked confused.

"Do you not pay attention to what goes on at school?" I laughed and shook my head no. "Bella, what are we going to do with you? Homecoming is next week!"

"Um, I wasn't planning on going, I don't have a date."

"Oh, your going!" She grabbed my arm and started dragging me to my truck. "Oh yeah! Your suppose to talk to Seth before we leave." I nodded at her, threw my keys to her and headed towards Seth's truck. I didn't know what to think about the dance, and I wasn't planning on buying a damn dress for it. I looked up and saw Seth walking towards me.

"Hey Seth, Alice said you wanted to talk to me?" Seth nodded and seemed a little nervous.

"Yeah, well, I was wonderin' if you wanted to go to the homecoming dance with me?" He stuttered out, he was cute when he was nervous. Now I knew why Alice wanted me to talk to Seth before we left.

"Yeah, that would be awesome." I gave Seth a hug and we said our goodbyes. I jogged back to my truck and I could already hear Alice squealing and Rose telling her to shut up. When we got to the store they started grabbing dresses right away and within what seemed like two minutes their arms were full and I was getting shoved into a dressing room. I bet I tried on over twenty dresses before I found one that I wanted.

It was a beautiful brown with sequence around the bottom and bust area. I had a perfect brown cross necklace to go with it along with some earrings. The dress was perfect. "Alice this is the one!" I shouted.

"Ok Bella, I agree. Now we just have to find you some high heels."

"Oh hell no! I will not wear heels. I have boots that will match this dress."

"Bella, you can not wear boots with a dress to homecoming." Alice whined.

"Then I'm not going." I smirked at the evil little pixie. She finally gave in and agreed. We spent another hour finding them dresses. Alice found a blue halter dress and matched it with clear high heel shoes and a matching earring neckless set that had a flower then a tear drop. Rose picked a darker blue dress that had sequence all over it with ruffles at the bottom and matched it with clear high heels and a single diamond neckless.

After making it home from shopping, I relaxed in my room. I still couldn't believe I was going to a dance with Seth. I mean yeah we've met up at rodeo dances and had danced before, but this one seemed different. The week went by in a flash and before I knew it, I was at Rose's house getting ready for homecoming. Alice was doing my make up while Rose was doing my hair. I was getting bored and started looking around the room, and then I realized this was the first time I had been in Rose's house. She had a queen size bed with a western star bed set, next to the bed she had a night table, and on the walls where framed pictures of the past years. I saw one picture that really caught my eye, it was of all six of us riding in the arena and you could see the dust flying around us. Alice and Rose finished getting ready and we were heading down the stairs when I saw Seth, and felt all the air leave my lungs. He was in a pair of black wranglers with a white pearl snap long sleeve shirt and boots.

We took pictures and headed to the school. Edward and Kate took her car, Rose, Emmett, Alice and Jasper took his truck, while I rode with Seth.

As Seth was opening my door he turned and looked at me, "Bella, you are always beautiful, but tonight I have no words that could even come close to how you look." I blushed as he helped me in the truck. We spend the ride to the school making short talk. Seth told me that next summer he was going to travel for pro rodeo and asked what I was going to do.

"I'm not really sure Seth, I guess I just have to see how this year goes." We made it to the school then, and Seth parked and helped me out. We all started dancing as soon as we had made it inside. Kate kept glaring at me all night but I figured I wasn't going to let her ruin my night. I was with all my friends, having a good time, and she just wasn't worth it. We were standing in a group when Alice got all excited and said, "Edward, Bella, since you both had a good year team roping this year I think you should have a celebratory dance!" I just groaned as Edward grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor, Kate glaring holes into my back I'm sure. They started a new song that I recognized and enjoyed listening to, it was Careless Whisper by Seether.

I feel so unsure,

As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor.

As the music dies...

Something in your eyes,

Calls to mind a silver screen,

And all those sad goodbyes

I'm never gonna dance again,

Guilty feet have got no rhythm.

Though it's easy to pretend,

I know you're not a fool.

I should have no better than to cheat a friend,

And waste the chance that I'd been given.

So I'm never gonna dance again,

The way I danced with you.

"Bella, you are beautiful tonight. I hope you are having a good night?" Edward whispered in my ear. All I could do was nod because dancing with Edward on this song, started to make me question things.

What am I without your love?

Tonite the music seems so loud,

I wish that we could lose the crowd.

Maybe it's better this way,

We'd hurt each other with the things we want to say.

I didn't realize that I had started to cry until I felt moisture running between my breasts. I had no clue why I was crying but my body did.

We could have been so good together,

We could have made this last forever...

But now, who's gonna dance with me?

Please stay.

And now it's never gonna be

That way...

Now that you're gone...

Now that you're gone...

Now that you're gone...

Was what I did so wrong?

So wrong that you had to leave me alone?

I just realized exactly how I felt about Edward by the time the song had ended. I couldn't take it anymore and left Edward on the dance floor and ran to Seth, telling him that I didn't feel good and wanted to leave. We said good night to everyone and walked out to the truck. I couldn't believe I had let myself get this far and not realize it. Everything that was once simple, had just grown to be the hardest thing I think I had ever go through. Once Seth dropped me off, I ran to my room and threw myself on my bed and let all my tears flow freely.

I could no longer lie to myself about what I felt for Edward. I, Isabella Swan, was madly in love with Edward Cullen, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

* * *

**Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long for me to update. I had this chapter done, and I didn't like how it went, so I deleted it and started over. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think!! And before anyone askes, about the boots and the dance, yes, that was me. All my dances in high school I wore boots, I even wore boots with my wedding dress. Also for anyone interested, all the horses in this story are made up, except Sunny. He is a very real horse, and he actually is my barrel racing horse. Later in the chapters I will be introducing another one of my horses or two.  
**


	8. What Hurts The Most

Song For Chapter: What Hurts The Most by Rascal Flats

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

What Hurts The Most

* * *

EPOV

----------

I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Bella was in that dress, and I knew she had a fight to be able to wear her boots. The way her body was moving was making my body react to her. Bella had been avoiding me at all costs when Kate was around me, and tonight was no exception. I knew she didn't like Kate, but since she was my girlfriend, Kate went with me to a lot of places. I just wish her and Bella could get along so I didn't feel like I was getting pulled in two different directions.

"Edward, Bella, since you both had a good year team roping this year, I think you should have a celebratory dance!" Alice yelled over the loud music. I heard Bella groan, so I grabbed her hand and walked out to the dance floor. As I turned around to face her, I noticed Kate glaring at Bella, and just rolled my eyes. Careless Whisper started to play and it was a pretty damn good song. In some ways it fit the way Bella and I were, I liked her, but we couldn't be more then friends. As we started moving to the song, her body molded me to, she just felt perfect against my body. I looked down to see Bella resting her head on my shoulder and I had to tell her how beautiful she was.

"Bella, you are beautiful tonight. I hope you are having a good night?" I whispered near her ear so she could hear me. I felt her nod and stiffen a little bit. I was starting to wonder if I said something wrong, until I heard her sniffle. I felt moisture on my shirt but didn't do anything except hold on tighter. I had no idea why she would be crying. I didn't think I had done something wrong since we had started dancing. The song had just started the last line, when Bella pulled away from me and ran to Seth. I just stood there shocked and watched as they left.

Some new up beat song started by the time I came to my senses and walked back over to the group. I couldn't help but notice that Alice looked sad.

"Is Bella alright?" I said in a worried tone.

"Yes, she's fine. She just didn't feel good." Kate sneered. _Ok really what's going on between those two? _I nodded as Kate pulled me out onto the dance floor. The rest of the night was basically the same way, Kate pulling me out to dance with her. I think after Bella and Seth left, I spent maybe a whole time of ten minutes with my friends before we finally left. The next day I didn't see or hear from Bella. I thought that maybe she was just sick like she said last time. That was out of the question when I saw Bella at school, and she wouldn't even look at me.

Bella has been ignoring me for the last two weeks. I couldn't understand it and the more I thought about it, the more I got confused. We were doing good all summer, talking, hanging out, and then all of a sudden, she stops talking to me? Yep, here comes the headache again. But since her birthday party was this weekend, she couldn't avoid me there.

I decided to head to my room, along the way passing Rose's room, where I heard muffled talking.

"You just need to get over him." Rose said with what sounded like pity in her voice.

"I know its just harder then I thought, and I feel really bad. I mean I love him, but I really like Seth." Bella sobbed out. That was enough for me, I just kept walking. I wonder who she loves? Poor bastard, probably didn't know what he was missing out on if he didn't know she loved him. With that thought, I threw myself on my bed and drifted off to sleep.

I awoke the next morning to Emmett pounding on my door singing "Wake up! It's Bella's Birthday!" before opening my door. I opened my eyes just in time to move before he threw himself on my bed, jumping on it.

"Dude! What the fuck?!" I yelled. Jasper was standing in the doorway leaning against the wall laughing at the scene in front of him. One look at Emmett's face and I busted up laughing, which caused him to stop jumping. _Thank God!_

After Jasper calmed down he told me what they wanted. "Your mom sent us up here to wake you up. We need to eat then go out to the barn to get stuff ready for Bella's party." I nodded as they left the room so I could get dressed. Walking downstairs I smelled my favorite breakfast: steak and eggs. Smelling this only made my step go a little bit faster. Walking into the kitchen, I heard a vehicle leaving. I looked at the guys confused.

"All the girls just left. Taking Bella shopping for the party tonight." Jasper said. Ahh explains why it's quiet in the house. After we had all finished eating, we went out to the barn and cleaned it up. Around five we all went back to the house to take a shower and get dressed for tonight. I decided on a pair of black wranglers, light blue George Straight long sleeve shirt and my boots. Jasper and Emmett dressed much the same way as I did. We all headed down stairs, hearing the girls laughing from Rose's room. We had about an hour before people started to show up for the party, so we were hanging out downstairs.

Twenty minutes later the doorbell rang. I went to go answer it, to see Seth on the other side.

"Hey man. The girls aint ready yet, but come on in. We are just waiting for them."

"With the text messages I was getting from Bella today, it might be awhile. She kept complaining about them playing Bella Barbie." We had made it back into the kitchen and all busted up laughing at what Seth had said. Finally after thirty more minutes of waiting Rose and Alice walked down the stairs.

"Rose, Alice where's Bella?" Jasper asked a little shocked.

"Oh, just wait a minute. It'll be worth it to see the new Bella." Alice snickered. Just then Bella came down the stairs. I was looking at Seth and I could see lust, adoration and love in his eyes when it came to Bella. I looked away from him to look at Bella, and all I can say is.... Seth is one hell of a lucky fucking man!

BPOV

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Every since I figured out that I was in love with Edward, it was hard to be around him. I had avoided him at all costs, unfortunately since my birthday party was at his house tomorrow I wouldn't be able to avoid him. I was sitting in Rose's room when I figured this out. I told them a couple days after the dance that I loved Edward and told them I would kick their asses if they told anyone. We were talking about Jasper and Emmett when a single tear slid down my face. Alice shuffled closer to me, bringing me into a hug, understanding why I was crying.

"You just need to get over him," Rose whispered.

"I know, it's just harder then I thought, and I feel really bad. I mean I love him, but I really like Seth." I whined out.

"Stop fucking whining Bella! Give Seth a chance!" Alice yelled at me. I finally gave up and just let them talk amongst themselves. I knew I needed to get over Edward and I really did like Seth. _Maybe you should just forget Edward and be with Seth. _Before we fell asleep, we decided to go shopping in the morning to get new outfits. Falling asleep that night, instead of Edward being the star of my dreams, it was Seth.

"Bella..... Oh, Bella" _Ok why is that damn pixie in my dream?!_ _Maybe if you just ignore her, she'll go away? _"Bella, wake the hell up!" _Damn! Didn't work! _

"Go away Alice." I grumbled out. Just as I was drifting back into my dream with Seth kissing me, I heard her voice again.

"Bella, if you don't wake up, I'm going to have the guys pick you up, and throw you in the water tank outside!"

"Yeah, whatever, just leave me alone." I smiled to myself calling her bluff.... or so I thought.

"Ok, you asked for it. Emmett! Edward! Jasper! Bella wants to take a trip to the horse tank!" Did she just do that? Really? O well, no one will listen to her. _Oh, how wrong you are Swan! _

"Alright, where is she? We haven't had someone visit the tank since Edward, it's about damn time!" You could almost feel the excitement roll off of him. With that excitement, I knew he wasn't joking, I knew he was going to pick me up and throw me in that fucking cold water tank.

"I'm up! I'm fucking up!" I screaming jumping off the air mattress. Of course, klutz Bella decided to say hello to everyone this shitty morning. My blankets caught around my leg while jumping out of bed, causing me to fall flat on my face. _At least you landed on the air mattress! _

Everyone in the room busted up laughing, all I could do was scowl at them as I got up and made my way to the bathroom. What a wonderful fucking way to start the day! Deciding that I wanted to do a quick ride before I left, I quickly threw on some jeans and a blue t-shirt. I was hoping to just sneak out of the house, yeah, no such luck.

"Bella! There you are, are you ready to go?" Alice chirped.

"Alice, I need to take care of my horses before I go anywhere." She nodded at me as I walked out the door. Since Sunny and Twister got along, I would be able to turn them in the pen outside. I went to Twister's stall first and said my hellos, putting his halter and lead rope on, walked him outside his stall and tied him up. Doing the same thing with Sunny only throwin' my rope around his neck and tying the other end to the halter, making reins for me. I grabbed a handful of mane and swung up on him, and nudged him forward. Stopping by Twister, I leaned forward and untied him, ponying him behind Sunny.

Once I got to the pen, jumped off and lead the two horses threw. I let Twister go, and he spun around and went running and bucking to the other end. I grabbed another handful of mane and swung back up on Sunny and asked him into a lope. I loved riding Sunny bareback, I could feel every muscle in his body move underneath me without the barrier of a saddle. I rode him around the pen for five minutes and finally felt calm enough to move forward with my day. I slid off Sunny and let him go, he followed me to the gate before I rubbed his nose. He just nickered to me, nudged me with his soft nose, then turned around and ran to Twister before joining him in eating.

I let out a huge sigh, and turned towards the house, which I now deemed hell just for today. Rose and Alice walked out of the house followed by Esme, which surprised me.

"Hope you don't mind dear?" Esme asked. She always has a motherly tone while talking talking to you.

"It's fine Esme, thank you for coming." I sat in the back seat of Esme's Mercedes with Alice. We spend the hour drive talking about anything and everything but mainly my party tonight. Once we pulled into the mall, Rose was pulling me out of the backseat and Alice was shoving me. _Fuck, was the car even stopped yet? _Esme just laughed as I got pulled in to the first store.

"Ok Bella, we are going to get you a new outfit for tonight." Alice was already fluttering around the store. _Note to self: hide caffeine from the pixie! _Within just a few minutes, I was getting shoved into a dressing room with at least twenty outfits. I tried on numerous halter tops, tank tops and t shirts. I finally found a black tank top that laced up the front.

I walked out of the dressing room to show Alice, I really hoped she liked it. "Bella, that looks great on you! You have to get it!" _Finally, something we agree on. _

"Alice I think I'm going to wear this top tonight!" I yelled over my shoulder on my back to the dressing room. "I also have a pair of jeans that will look good with it to."

"Bella, remember our talk last night? The one about Seth?" I heard Alice mumble through the door.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well.... what do you say we blow Seth out of the water tonight?" Alice asked.

"Depends on what you have in mind?" I asked timidly. Next thing I know, a skirt is flying over the door.

"Heads up!"

"You know Alice, your suppose to say that _before_ you throw something at someone!" I yelled while slipping my boots off. "Damn pixie trying to get me in a damn skirt." I mumbled to myself while taking my jeans off. I slid the skirt up my legs and buttoned and zipped them. I looked in the mirror and my jaw hit the floor. "Alice! There is no way in hell I'm going to wear this in public!" I yelled, still looking in the mirror. Skirt my ass, more like a mini mini skirt. It ended maybe two inches from my ass!

"Let me see." Alice said knocking on the door. I opened it to let her in and immediately closed it, with her almost still in it. She made me turn around and show her what little bit was there.

"Alice there is no way I am wearing this!"

"Bella, remember we are doing this for Seth."

"No, Alice, you said blow Seth out of the water, not give him a heart attack from a free peep show if I bend over!" I felt heat working it's way up to my face when I said that.

"Bella, you are wearing this skirt tonight with that black tank top, end of story!" She started to walk out of the dressing room, then turned to look at me, "But I will let you wear your boots tonight!" With that, she was gone. I grabbed the tank top and skirt mumbling to myself, then walked up to pay for them. I followed them around while they did there shopping, and decided to text Seth.

_Seth-_

_Please help me!_

_-Bella_

The girls came out of the store with three bags and headed to the next one, when my phone beeped at me.

_Bella-_

_Help you with what babe?_

_-Seth_

Babe? Seth called me babe! That helps with my mood a little bit.

_Seth-_

_The shopping devil herself! The evil pixie made me go shopping! _

_Grr, just kidnap me?_

_-Bella _

"Are you girls hungry yet? It's almost noon." Esme asked. We all said that we were hungry and we headed to the food court. I just ordered a slice of cheese pizza and a pepsi. Just as we were getting settled in my phone beeped.

_Bella-_

_I wish I could kidnap you. But it can't be that bad._

_-Seth_

If Seth only knew how much I hated shopping, plus being drug around.

_Seth-_

_It is that bad. I'm there damn Bella Barbie. _

_I can't wait until tonight though!_

_-Bella_

We finished eating and decided that it was time to head home and get ready. We made it out to the car and put probably twenty bags in the trunk if not more and started to head home. I was going to get a quick nap in when my phone went off again.

_Bella-_

_I'm sorry you have a play Bella Barbie. _

_I can't wait til tonight either. _

_I miss you, can't wait to see you!_

_-Seth _

Seth missed me? I started thinking back to the day I met him. Since that day we talked or saw each other everyday during the summer. At school we share classes, and hang out. Every once in awhile, Seth would kiss my cheek or lead me down the hall way by my hand. Maybe, just maybe, Seth likes me back? _Wow Bella, are we in second grade again? Are you going to pass him a note to check yes or no onto if he likes you? _Could I see myself with Seth? Yeah, I could, and in fact, if he ever shows or tells me he wants to be more then friends, I'm gonna take it. _Move aside Edward, here comes Seth! _

The guys where still in the barn when we got home. We carried all the bags inside and when we got to Rose's room, I was sat in a chair and they started doing my hair. They had it curled and pinned up so half of it was flowing down my back, then started on my make-up. When they were finally done with me, they started to get ready and told me to get dressed. This time when I put the skirt on, I felt sexy not like a whore. Maybe it had to do with the point that I made my mind up on giving Seth a chance if he ever asked. I heard the guys talking down stairs then a knock on the door.

"Are you guys ready yet? Let's go!" I whined.

"Ok Bella, we are ready, but your going to wait up here a couple minutes after us to come down." Alice gave me a look as to not question or argue with her. So I just nodded as they left the room.

"Rose, Alice where's Bella?" Jasper asked a little shocked.

"Oh, just wait a minute. It'll be worth it to see the new Bella." Alice snickered. I took that as my cue to walk down the stairs. When I looked up, I saw Seth's eyes on me and I just kept looking at him. I was more then happy that my klutziness didn't decide to shows it's face today as Seth met me at the bottom of the stairs.

He leaned in by my ear and whispered, "I missed you today Bella, but it was more then worth the wait. You are beautiful." Then he gave me a chaste kiss on the lips. I felt the blush warm my face up as we walked out to the barn. The guys had cleaned it up and it looked good. There was music flowing throughout the barn, and the horses had been let outside so all the stalls where clean and you could smell the pine wood chips. People started showing up, and everyone started talking and dancing to the music. Seth hadn't left my side all evening, and after we danced to a slower song, he held onto my hand and led me outside by my trailer.

"Bella, I need to say something, please just listen to me before you say anything." Seth was nervous? _This can't be good! _I nodded at him to encourage him to continue. "Bella, I know you have feelings on the stronger side for Edward. It's easy to see by the way you look at him. But you also need to know, that I really like you and I would love it if you gave me a chance?" By the time he was finished talking, I had a huge grin on my face.

"What kind of chance Seth? Like a date, or for me to be your girlfriend?" I asked, just to make everything clear.

"Bella, will you be my girlfriend?" The whole time Seth asked me this, he wasn't looking at me, probably due to him being so nervous.

"Seth, I need to tell you something now, please listen. I'm not going to lie to you, I do have strong feelings for Edward, I also have feelings for you. I've liked you since the first time I danced with you at that rodeo. So, to answer your question, yes, I would like to be your girlfriend." I couldn't hold myself in place anymore, I flung myself at Seth, which he caught me easily and kissed him. When he pressed his lips to mine, I could feel a small fire start in my stomach. I started to move my lips against his, when he traced my bottom lip with his tongue, I granted him access and opened my mouth to him, letting our tongues start a dance. That little fire soon turned into a large fire in my stomach that moved it's way down between my legs. I whimpered when I heard someone coming, and pulled away from Seth.

"There you are Bella! It's time for your cake!" Alice yelled, and I moaned. Seth just laughed at me and took my hand leading me back to the barn.

Before we entered, he stopped us and placed a kiss at my temple and leaned in and whispered, "Bella, you have made me the happiest man here tonight," then grabbed my hand and led me back in. We had cake and danced some more before people started leaving. Throughout the night, Seth and I kept stealing kisses from each other and it just felt comfortable. Going back to school went much the same as it always did, except now I had a boyfriend.

It had been seven months since Seth and I had started dating and everything was going great. Seth and I decided to go for a ride since it was starting to warm up from the winter months. I rode with him out to the Cullen's and watched as he grabbed Twister, and starting to saddle him. I watched the muscles in his arms as the threw the saddle on the horses back and the muscles in his legs when he bent down to get the girth. I snapped myself out of it, and grabbed Sunny, quickly saddling him. We got on the horses and started to walk out of the barn. We rode in a comfortable silence for awhile.

"Bella, you know that since it's warming up, rodeo is going to start soon?" I nodded to Seth as he continued. "Well, I'm going to do the professional tour this year." I snapped my head over to him with large eyes.

"Seth, what are you saying? Where does that leave us?" I couldn't help but sound panicked, because I was.

"Bella, I would like for you to join me. You don't have to run or rope, but I would like you there with me. You don't have to answer me now, but please think about it."

"Ok Seth, I'll think about it. Thank you for considering for me to join you." I leaned over towards Twister and gave Seth a kiss. We headed back to the barn and did chores, before Seth dropped me off at home. That night I thought about what Seth had said earlier during our ride. I decided that I would follow Seth anywhere and that I couldn't see myself without him. I could be myself around him and not have to worry about how to act. I had only met his parents and his sister a couple times. Harry, his father, and Sue, his mother, were both really nice people. Leah, his sister, was older then us, but she seemed really nice as well. They were all welcoming of me and approved of Seth's and mine's relationship. I loved everything about Seth, hell if I was being honest, I loved Seth. With my decision made, I got online and applied for my card, because whether I compete this summer or not, my horses are coming with me.

Before I knew it, it was graduation day. The day I had spent twelve years of my life to get to. Seth was picking me up in about twenty minutes, and Charlie had already told me about a hundred times that he was proud of me and would meet me at the school. The Cullen's were throwing us a party tonight, unfortunately, I would have to go without Seth since his family was going to do a good-bye dinner. We were leaving tomorrow to start our travel for the rodeo. Seth was excited that I had decided to go with him, Charlie on the other hand wasn't. He was unsure of me traveling the summer with Seth and his two friends Embry and Quil. After a hour of arguing, I finally just told him that I was still a virgin and was going to be until the day I got married. That shut him up real fast and he didn't say another word about it.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I opened it to see my hot boyfriend.

"Hey baby, you ready to go?" He asked and I nodded. The ride to school was filled with talk about tomorrow. We both couldn't wait to leave, even though I would miss my other friends. Once we got to the school, I was sad that all my friends would be standing at the front of the line, including Seth. I was able to get in a quick hello to everyone, and a kiss to Seth before we were told to line up.

I sat through the graduation ceremony, listening to students give their speeches, and teachers do their talk before finally they started calling our names. When my friends names were called, I yelled for them, and they did the same for me when I was called. Before I knew it the hard work from the last twelve years was a piece of paper in my hands. Families rushed towards each other, and I found Seth quickly. More like he found me, and when he did, he picked me up and kissed me while spinning us in a circle. By the time the kiss ended his family was to him and we said quick good byes.

Rose and Alice found me and we walked out to their car and left to head to the farm. When we got there, the guys already had music going and hanging out. We jumped out and went over to them, grabbing something to drink along the way. We were hanging out for four hours and it finally sank in how much I was going to miss these people around me. I figured now was a good time to tell everyone that I would be doing the pro tour this year and I was leaving tomorrow, I knew they would all he happy for me. _They will be right? They won't be mad I waited until last minute to tell them I was leaving. _

"Hey guys, I got some good news to tell you!" They all looked at me so I continued, "Well as you know Seth is going to do professional rodeo this year." They all nodded. "Well I decided I would join him." It was quiet for a couple of minutes before Edward was the first to speak.

"That's great Bella, I'll give you our schedule of rodeos and you can work around it." He smiled at me. _What is he talking about? _

"Um, Edward, I will be competing pro this year." I shrugged it off.

"That's great Bella, so exciting!" Alice yelled.

"Congratulations." Rose, Emmett, and Jasper said.

"Wait, you can't compete pro, were roping this year." Edward was getting angry.

"No, I'm not team roping this year, and yes I am competing pro." I stated calmly. Everyone kept looking between Edward and I.

"Bella, your crazy, you can stop playing your joke now. We all know that your staying here this summer."

"Edward, I'm not playing a joke." I said trying to stay calm.

"Bella, what the fuck! We were suppose to rope together!" Edward was yelling now, and that broke my calm streak.

"No we weren't you never asked me!"

"Were roping partners! I shouldn't have to ask you!"

"And if you would have actually opened your fucking eyes this past nine months, you would have seen that I was staying away from you."

"Why is that Bella? Why were you staying away from me? Because I really don't have a fucking clue!" I was so pissed, I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes.

"That's right you wouldn't because you can't see what's right in fucking front of you!" He looked at me confused, some of his temper leaving his body. "If you would have seen anything, you would have known that non of us like Kate, and you would have also fucking realized that I have loved you the last almost fucking year!" I screamed at basically as loud as I could. I heard Rose and Alice gasp, then I realized what I just said. I guess when I'm pissed, the filter between my brain and mouth, decides to shut off. Everyone was staring at me with wide eyes, including Edward. _Run Swan, run now before you make a bigger ass of yourself! _ Since my truck was still here from this morning doing chores, I started to run towards it. I heard everyone yelling my name but I couldn't nor wouldn't stop to listen to them. I jumped in my truck and headed to the only place I felt safe now; Seth.

I cried the whole way to La Push. As soon as I got there, I headed straight for Seth's farm, found a place to park and ran to the house. I knocked a couple times before someone answered.

"I'm sorry Sue, but can I please talk to Seth?" I said between hiccups.

"Of course Bella, please come in. Seth!" She yelled. Seth came around the corner and saw me. He rushed to me with open arms and pulled me to his bedroom. He pulled us on the bed and just held me for what felt like forever but could have only been a few short minutes.

"Bella, what's wrong baby?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"I told everyone tonight that I was leaving with you for the rodeo. I didn't get to tell them when, before Edward and I got in a fight." I sobbed out.

"What was said during this fight?" Just that one question sobered me up.

"Seth, I'm not going to lie to you. I told Edward that he was blind because he couldn't tell that I loved him." I looked up to see a sad looking Seth with his head hung down, not looking at me. "Seth, I love Edward, but that love, it doesn't even begin to compare to the love I have for you." He thought about that for a minute before looking at me.

"Bella, I love you. I never want to lose you."

"You won't. I love you more then anything." Seth held me for about an hour before his phone went off. He opened his phone and got a huge grin on his face, then looked at me.

"Bella, what do you say we leave right now instead of tomorrow?" I smiled and leaned up and kissed him.

"I say, my stuff is in my truck, let's get Embry, Quil and my horses and let's get the hell out of Forks." He leaned down and kissed me again before pulling us of the bed.

"That's why I love you."

"I love you to." I said walking out of the door. We said good bye to his parents, and left to pick up Quil and Embry. After we picked them up we headed to the Cullen's. Since it was almost four in the morning, everyone was asleep.

"Seth, hook my trailer up and I'll go get my horses. Please be quiet, I don't want anyone to know we are here. Embry, Quil, here's the key to the trailer, put all our stuff in there and make sure you lock it back up." I said jumped out of the truck. I ran to the outside pen where my horses were. Since they had been outside, their stalls were clean. I put a halter on Sunny first then Twister and led them out of the pen. After I closed the gate, I turned around running back to the trailer, causing the horses to trot after me. Once they were loaded up, we headed back to Forks and stopped by my house. Charlie was already up getting ready for work, we told him buy and he told us to drive careful, good luck and keep in touch. We left the house and made a quick stop to get something to eat, agreeing on stopping later in the day at a grocery store to stock the trailer up. I debated on sending a text to Alice and Rose before finally doing it.

_Rose and Alice-_

_I'm sorry last night turned out the way it did. _

_By the time you get this I will be out of the state of Wa. _

_Please forgive me._

_-Love Bella _

With that being said, I laid down on the seat, put my head in Seth's lap, and I was leaving behind Forks Washington, and along with it, Edward Cullen.

EPOV

----------

Bella said she loved me, then walked out. I couldn't find my voice while she was yelling at me. I couldn't find it while everyone looked at me, but I found it when I started calling after her and walked out of the barn just to see her tail lights down the driveway. We all just stood there, not saying anything because we were all shocked. _Bella loved me_. I said good night to everyone and headed to my bedroom. I threw myself on the bed, and thought I'd let Bella calm down and I would talk to her in the morning.

I woke up the next morning and went to the barn. I went straight to the office and turned on the radio before I started feeding horses. A song by Rascal Flats came on, it was a pretty sad song.

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

I saw Rose walk in and stand by Sunny's stall before she started crying.

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

I walked down to where she was, and saw the stall empty. I looked at Rose who was still crying. I heard screaming and looked up to see Alice come running in and stop by Rose, before they hugged each other.

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

"Why are you two crying? Sunny's outside, he didn't die." I told them trying to hold in the laughter they just glared at me.

"Bella's gone." Rose whispered. I didn't think that's what she said but I wasn't sure.

"What? Bella aint gone." I asked.

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

"She's fucking gone Edward! And it's all because you didn't get your head out of your fucking ass!" Alice screamed at me before her and Rose walked out.

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

If felt like I was punched in the gut, and I couldn't get any air to my lungs. I knew with that feeling, what they were saying was true. Bella was gone, she walked away. Bella walked away from me. Bella left me. _Now that you've figured out she's gone, why does it bother you? _

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do

Ooohhh....

I loved Bella, and she just walked out of my life, and took my heart with her.

* * *

K, So let me start off with this. I'm not going to beg to get reviews, but I dont see how over 20 people are reading this and no one except 3 people have left reviews. But I am going to say please leave let me know what you think. Sorry if you don't like Bella and Seth together, but after this chapter, there's going to be alot of things happening, and I'm really excited to start writing those chapters. Also, if you haven't already, there are pictures from chapters on my profile of outfits, horses and other things. Enjoy! -Carrie


	9. The Way I Feel

Song For Chapter: The Way I Feel by: 12 Stones

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

The Way I Feel

* * *

BPOV

I was leaving behind Forks Washington, and along with it, Edward Cullen.

-------

When I woke up, my head was still on Seth's lap. I looked up at him and smile while he smiled down at me. He told me that my phone had be going off like crazy, so I looked at it. Sure enough, seven text messages.

_Bella-_

_Where are you?! _

_-Rose_

_Bella-_

_I'm not mad at you. _

_I'm surprised you told that to Edward._

_-Alice_

_Bella-_

_ANSWER ME!_

_-Rose_

_Bella-_

_If you don't answer me I'm sending in the big guns!_

_-Rose_

_Bella-_

_Are you ignoring Rose?_

_-Alice_

_Bella-_

_Please answer one of the girls before they go crazy._

_-Emmett_

_Bella-_

_I really think we need to talk..._

_Please?_

_-Edward_

I let out a huge sigh and debated how I wanted to respond to them. I heard the guys talking but just ignored them. We finally stopped off at a small town and found the grocery store. We bought enough food to last us for a while and loaded it in the trailer. When we got back to the truck, I finally just decided to text everyone.

_Rose & Alice-_

_Hey guys sorry about last night._

_I can't believe that slipped out._

_Please know that I am ok and will keep in touch. _

_-Bella_

I got in the truck and adjusted everything back to the way I drive, and hit the road again. The guys fell asleep leaving me with enough time to think everything through. I know I should have told everyone sooner, but I just wanted to enjoy the time with them without knowing about the good bye. I knew I should have told Edward how I felt, but he was always with Kate. _Keep lyin to yourself. _

I decided that when we got to Billings Montana, I'd write a letter to Edward and explain everything, then he would at least know the truth. The rest of the drive to Billings was quiet, we stopped a couple of times to let the horses out and move around, and to eat. Once we got there, the guys set up a pen for my horses while I made dinner for us all. I trusted them to move my horses and make sure everything was set up. I listened to the guys while we all ate about how they were ready for the rodeo tomorrow. I figured I couldn't put off writing a letter to Edward any longer.

"Seth, can I talk to you for a minute?" He looked at me and nodded as we walked out of the trailer door.

"What's up babe?" He asked.

"Well, I'm going to write a letter to Edward, things shouldn't have happened how they did and I just need to say sorry on my end of the line." Seth agreed with me and said that he and the guys were going to head up to the arena and hang out for a little bit. I was left to my own thoughts in the trailer as I turned on the radio, thinking about what all needed to be said to Edward.

_Edward,_

_I know the last person you probably want to hear from is me, and for that I am sorry._

_I know what I did is unforgivable. But I just need to tell you the truth. _

_Somewhere along the lines of last summer, I fell in love with you._

_Remember that day we all went for a ride, and I got thrown? Well that was the day I was going to ask if you were interested_

_in going out on a date or something, but when we got back to the barn and Kate was all over you,_

_I figured my time had passed. At the homecoming dance, when you and I danced is when my _

_brain decided to tell my heart that I was in love with you. I'm sorry for ignoring you, but it _

_just hurt to be around you, knowing that I couldn't have you, and you didn't see me like that._

_I wanted to tell everyone about this summer, but I didn't want a good-bye hanging over _

_all of our heads. Sorry about the roping thing, I truly didn't know you wanted me to be your_

_roping partner. Know you know the truth, and you can do with it what you want. _

_I just had to tell you. If you don't want to talk to me again, I truly understand. _

_Always,_

_-Bella_

Re-reading the letter making sure that was everything, I put it in the envelope and put our addresses and a stamp on it. I'd walk to the post office in this town tomorrow and mail it. I went to sleep and all I could think about was Edward. I awoke the next morning and starting making breakfast for everyone, keeping my hands and mind busy. After I ate, I woke the guys up and then left to go mail the letter to Edward. I had only been away from my friends for two days and I already missed them. Going for a walk probably wasn't the smartest thing for me to do, it let my mind wonder. _What does Edward think of me after I told him I loved him? Could I really be alright without him talking to me? _

I decided, that what I did is done, and it's all in Edward's hands now as I dropped the letter in the mail drop at the post office. If he still wanted to be friends, I could handle that. I walked back to the trailer and fed my horses. Once Sunny was done eating, I saddled him up and rode to the arena. Working Sunny in the arena worked out the stress in my body from Edward, leaving, traveling and this being my first pro rodeo run tonight. For the moment, I just let everything go, and felt my horse move underneath me.

Before I knew it, the rodeo grounds were swarming with people and rodeo contestants. Since I rode Sunny earlier, I put my barrel saddle on him, and my roping saddle on Twister, and ponied Sunny around to warm up his muscles. When they got to the barrel racing, I tied Twister to the trailer and jumped on Sunny, heading to the arena.

"Next up in the barrel racing we have Isabella Swan from Forks Washington!" The announcer yelled. _Here goes nothing Sunny. _We walked up to the gate and Sunny started to prance and buck letting me know he was ready. _Not to shabby for a fifteen year old. _I nudged Sunny letting him know it was time for business as he jumped forward into a run. Everyone and everything disappeared once we entered the arena. It was just me and my horse playing around practicing barrels. I pushed Sunny to the first barrel, nudging him with my right leg, making him do a sharp turn. I looked up towards the second barrel and half way there I nudged Sunny with my left foot, making him do a lead change to get ready for the left handed turn. He blew through the second barrel no problem, pushing himself towards the third barrel. We made our last turn, heading towards the finish line. In that moment, I was free. I was flying on the back of my horse, my best friend. Someone who would always be there for me. Leaving the arena, I got off Sunny and loosened my cinch up to help him cool off before walking him back to the trailer.

"Hey, your Bella Swan right?" I looked beside me and saw a beautiful girl around my height with shorter brown hair and brown eyes.

"Yea, I am. Can I help you?" I asked a little nervous.

"Hey, I'm Jami, you had a really good run!"

"Thank you, do you barrel race?" I asked her tying Sunny up. I pulled my saddle off him and put it on the rack in the trailer.

"No, not yet. But I'm planning on it." Jami said excitedly.

"If ya need any help let me know, but I gotta head back up to the arena." I said apologetically, Seth and the guys were going to be riding soon.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Bella, of course you'd wanna get back to watch Seth. Do you mind if I join you?" I shook my head and we walked up the arena.

"I'm sorry, do you know Seth?"

"No, I've heard of him, he's a really good bull rider, and his friends Embry Call and Quil Ateara are just as good." She stated.

"Yes, they all three are very good. We are all traveling together this year."

Jami and I found a place to sit in the stands and watched the bull riding.

"So where are you from?" I asked.

"I live back in Nebraska. We have a training barn." I nodded as we watched Embry's bull come jumping out of the chute. The bull started to spin, causing Embry to come off balance and fall off.

"Must be nice, what type of training?" I asked because I really was curious.

"We have a trainer for each rodeo event. So I guess you could say we train rodeo horses." Jami giggled. We watched Seth and Quil ride, both taking a score of 70. Jami and I decided to keep in touch and exchanged phone numbers. We said our good byes, and I made my way to the back of the chutes to find the guys. They grabbed their stuff and we all went back to the trailer. I put the horses in the pen and fed them, then went inside and started making dinner. After we ate, we packed everything up and got ready to leave the next morning. I checked on my horses, before going to sleep.

The next morning we loaded everything up and the horses and made the four hour drive to Casper Wyoming. Embry had family there that owned a ranch and offered for us to stay there. Pulling up the driveway, I started to feel a little nervous.

"Embry, this place is beautiful," I whispered. There was a large log cabin house, and an outdoor arena.

"Yea it is. Growing up I came here alot. See that cabin over there?" He pointed to the right of the main house, so I nodded. "That's where we are going to be staying while were here, so pull up over there.

I did as he told me. It was a cute little log cabin, maybe three bedrooms. Beside it there was a round coral made out of tree branches, and you could see the end of a lake coming from behind the cabin. Overall, it was really cute. I parked the truck and we all jumped out, and Embry said we should go ahead and unload the horses and get them settled in. After that we went to the main house to meet everyone. Walking in, you could definitely tell this was a ranchers house, and looks like what my house probably would. There was horse tack everywhere, the furniture was wooden, and it just had a very western feel to it.

"Aunt Emily, Uncle Sam? We're here!" Embry yelled.

"Embry? My have you grown!" A woman called. She was beautiful with long black hair, and russet skin.

"Aunt Em, you know Quil, these are my friends Seth Clearwater and his girlfriend Bella Swan."

"Welcome to the ranch, make yourselves at home. I'm taking it you have already unloaded the horses." We all nodded at her and Embry excused us as we went back to the cabin.

It had been a couple days since we had arrived at the ranch, and Seth was acting kind of weird. I wasn't sure what to think about it but Embry and Quil said he was fine and not to worry about it. I was out brushing the horses when Seth came wonderin' up to me.

"Hey babe, can we go for a ride?" He was still acting weird, but I nodded that we could. We saddled the horses up and starting walking out into the pastures. I laughed when Twister tensed up when we got around the cattle. Poor guy probably thought it was time to work. We rode in silence for a little while and I decided I wanted to lope, so I kicked Sunny up. Seth caught up to me, and then nudged Twister into a run. Since Sunny was already high spirited and always wanted to run, I made him stay in a steady lope. I noticed in the distance Twister was standing by a tree, so thinking Seth got thrown, I kicked Sunny and made him run. When I got to them, I saw Seth kneeling down in the grass, so I immediately got off Sunny to stand in front of him.

"Seth are you alright?" I almost screamed, I was worried that he was hurt. He seemed lost in thought, so I just stood there, waiting for a damn answer.

"Bella, I love you." He finally got out.

"I love you to Seth. Are you alright?" I was starting to get annoyed now.

"Isabella, I love you so much. Since the first time I saw you, I knew you had my heart. I want to achieve our goals together, buy a house, make you my wife and carry my children. I love you, please tell me you will make me the happiest man alive. Please say you'll be my wife?" Seth pulled out a beautiful diamond ring with a square diamond with two diamonds beside it. I couldn't breath. _Was this really fucking happening?! _All I could do was nod my head and lunge towards Seth. I placed my lips on his, as we started to move together, he licked my bottom lip asking for entrance, that I quickly gave him. When we pulled away, I had a ring on my left ring finger. I didn't even notice that he had put it there, but I was so happy.

"Bella, I love you so much."

"I love you to Seth." I mumbled placing my lips back on his. When he pulled back, he had the biggest grin on his face.

"Bella, there's something else we need to discuss since you agreed to marry me. My parents have decided to sell the farm." He said looking at me. "I was wondering if you would be interested in us buying it?"

"Oh Seth, that would be wonderful! Then I can stay close to my dad!" I yelled jumping back on him. We laid there in the grass for what felt like ever, just holding each other as the wind blew the grass all around us. When it was starting to get dark, we decided to head back to the cabin. When we got into the cabin Quil and Embry came up and gave me a hug and shook Seth's hand.

"So this is why you have been acting weird the last couple of days?" I asked Seth when we laid on the couch together.

"I was nervous as hell to ask you to marry me, you can't blame me." Seth chuckled. All I could do was laugh along with him.

"So when do we sign the papers to our new home?" I asked excitedly.

"When we go home in July. I'm glad your excited."

The next month and a half flew by once we got engaged. Once we left Casper we went to Denver, Colorado followed by, Cheyenne Wyoming, Union and Sisters Oregon with at least one of us leaving each rodeo with a check. I had talked to Rose and Alice and they assured me that no one was mad with my decision to leave, but were sad with the way I left. I kept telling them I was sorry, and we decided to hang out once we got back. When we were in Cheyenne, we went shopping and I got two new bridles, a new saddle pad, breast collar, and some clothes. I'll just say, it put a good dent in my checking account. I had yet to tell the girls that I was engaged and making our way home, I was a little nervous.

Seth's parents had already moved out of the farm, so we would be staying there. I guess Seth had already asked Charlie's permission to marry me and he agreed. But he was a little hesitant about us moving in together before we were married. I simply told him that we weren't having Seth so there was no need to worry. We pulled into the farm late, and once we got the horses settled into their new pens, everyone was exhausted. Embry and Quil decided to stay with us, so we all went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to my phone going off. I had four missed calls, all from Alice. I groaned and rolled out of bed knowing she wanted to see me. Once I went to the bathroom and got dressed, I headed to the kitchen so I didn't wake anyone up with my talking, and called Alice back. She answered on the third ring.

"About time you wake up damn it!"

"Sorry Alice, we didn't get in until last night." I mumbled.

"Yeah, yeah. Your up now, so when can we meet?" Remember that Alice and Rose didn't know that I was moving to La Push and I was engaged, I decided to tell them first chance I got.

"The sooner the better?"

"Well we can meet you are your house in an hour?" I agreed and we hung up. I made some quick breakfast and went to the bedroom to tell Seth I was leaving.

"Seth, hunny, I'm going to dads and gonna brake the news to the girls. I'm gonna pack some stuff and bring it back to." I leaned over and gave Seth a kiss. He surprised me by grabbing me and pulling me on top of him. I let out a small squeal as he leaned up to kiss me.

"Well good morning to you to." He chuckled.

"Good morning, now go back to sleep. You'll need your rest. We got work to do around this farm. I'll feed the horses on my way out." I gave him a kiss and crawled off him.

Waiting at my dads house, I was starting to get nervous. As I was carrying some of my clothes to my truck, Alice and Rose pulled in. I saw them jump out and run up to me.

" I missed you so much Bella!" Alice screamed as she jumped to give me a hug.

"Are you moving Bella?" Rose asked confused.

"Um... actually... yeah... I need to talk to you guys?" I was so nervous it came out as a question. I turned around and walked into the house with them following me. I sat at the table and they sat across from me.

"What's up Bella?" Alice asked.

"Well... um... ok... SethaskemetomarryhimandIsaidyesnowwe'removingintohisfarmthatwebought!" I got out all in one breath. _Maybe you said it fast enough they won't catch on? _

"Whoa! Ok slow down try again." Rose said. I let out a big sigh and tried again.

"Seth asked me to marry him and I said yes. We bought his parents farm, so I'm moving to La Push." I said as calmly as my nerves would let me.

"That's awesome Bella! we totally have to go out tonight!" Alice squealed. Rose just looked me at with a sad look in her eye. We agreed to go out tonight and they helped me move the rest of my clothes and small items to my truck. I told them we would meet them tonight at the bar, before we said our good byes. When I got to the farm, the guys helped me carry everything in and I started to get settled. Once we finished eating we all headed to the bar. I had a feeling in my stomach that something wasn't going to go very well tonight. When we got there everyone was inside. We went to them and did proper hugs, which assured me they were no longer angry with me.

"So, Bella and Seth have some news!" Alice yelled. _That got everyone's attention, great._ They were all looking at me with expectant eyes, all except Edward. I was looking straight in his eyes when I said what I was going to say.

"Seth and I are engaged. We're getting married." I said and I saw the heartbreak in Edward's eyes, though I had no idea why. Everyone gave us congratulations, before we decided to dance. After a couple of songs, I noticed that Edward wasn't dancing, so I promised myself the next song, I would ask him to dance with me. I walked up to Edward and asked him and he agreed. I grabbed his hand, and gasped as I felt a shock flowing through me like electricity. As soon as I heard the song, I knew this was a bad ida.

Lately I've been wandering

Off the narrow path

You've given me so many things that I've never had

All in all I know it's you that always pulls me through

If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true

Cuz I hate the way…I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice…yeah

"Bella, are you happy?" Edward asked with sadness in his voice.

"Are you Edward?" I asked right back. I didn't want to answer him, because I was afraid of my answer. He seemed to think about it for a long time.

Come on

The world I know is pulling me, more and more each day

I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray

Spiteful eyes are watching me

With everything I do

In the midst of darkness, Lord

My spirit calls for you

Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice yeah

(You know sometimes deep inside...)

I feel like death...

Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice

Edward leaned in and whispered the rest of the song in my ear.

Yes, I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life..yeah

The way I feel, I hate the way... the way I feel...

When the song ended, Edward leaned in, kissed my cheek and said "No Bella, I'm not happy." Then he walked away from me to rejoin the group as I had a single tear slide down my face.

* * *

K, To start off with, I gotta say this. A special thanks to Sweetdreams82 for helping me out, you are awesome! Also, thank you for those of you who reviewed! This chapter was short and I'm sorry for that. I wanted to get it updated for everyone and It was kind of a fill in. But there is alot coming up! Let me know what you think!


	10. I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Song For Chapter: I'm Only Me When I'm With You by: Taylor Swift

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

* * *

EPOV

I loved Bella, and she just walked out of my life, and took my heart with her.

-------

Have you ever been hopeless yet determined at the same time? I was hopeless because by the time I found out that I loved Bella, she was gone. Yet I was determined because I was going to do everything in my power to let her know how I felt. It was only a matter of time. Rose and Alice had received a text message from Bella with her telling them she was alright, but she never sent me a text after I told her we needed to talk. I had no idea where she was, or if she really was OK. As a couple days went by, I was starting to get worried, even though the girls told me to calm down and that Bella was fine.

I had spent all morning working out in the barn and it seemed like everything I looked at reminded me of Bella. The stalls Sunny and Twister where in, remained empty, every time I rode in the arena, I remembered all the time we spent in there. By the time everything was done, I was dragging myself inside. All I wanted to do was hear her voice and hold her in my arms. When I got into the kitchen, I made my way over to the fridge to grab something to eat, when an envelope on the counter with my name on it caught my attention. I sat down on one of the bar stools and noticed there was no name on the return address but it was from Forks. As soon as I opened it, I knew who it was from just from the handwriting: Bella.

_Edward,_

_I know the last person you probably want to hear from is me, and for that I am sorry._

_I know what I did is unforgivable. But I just need to tell you the truth. _

_Somewhere along the lines of last summer, I fell in love with you._

_Remember that day we all went for a ride, and I got thrown? Well that was the day I was going to ask if you were interested_

_in going out on a date or something, but when we got back to the barn and Kate was all over you,_

_I figured my time had passed. At the homecoming dance, when you and I danced is when my _

_brain decided to tell my heart that I was in love with you. I'm sorry for ignoring you, but it _

_just hurt to be around you, knowing that I couldn't have you, and you didn't see me like that._

_I wanted to tell everyone about this summer, but I didn't want a good-bye hanging over _

_all of our heads. Sorry about the roping thing, I truly didn't know you wanted me to be your_

_roping partner. Now you know the truth, and you can do with it what you want. _

_I just had to tell you. If you don't want to talk to me again, I truly understand. _

_Always,_

_-Bella_

I just kept rereading the letter until I pretty much had it memorized. My brain took me back to the night of homecoming and when Bella and I danced. The look that she got in her eyes before she left me standing there on the dance floor. That look made sense now. The day we went riding, I remembered the nod Bella and Alice shared before Bella rode back with me. I remembered how she almost melted into my touch behind me. I remember the look of her on her face when Kate kissed me, and none of it made sense until now. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't blame her for staying away from me knowing I was with Kate, and ignoring me. I couldn't be mad at her for not roping with me this year, because we never talked about being long term roping partners. And if I was truthful with myself, I couldn't just walk away from her like she thought I would. But I did know that I was pissed at her for leaving the way she fucking did.

Since Emmett was busy this summer doing stuff for the college rodeo team he was going to be on, Jasper and I decided to rope together this summer, since he was taking a year off from school. I knew I was going to miss roping with Bella, we made a damn good team. I also decided that this summer, I was going to start training more horses for team roping so I could just do that as a job.

I knew that I loved Bella and knew that it wasn't fair to Kate to stay with her. I didn't love her and I knew I never would. Bella was the only person I wanted to love. Tomorrow when I saw Kate at the rodeo, I knew I would have to end it, and it probably wasn't going to be to pretty.

I drug myself up to my room and jumped on my bed spending the rest of the day thinking about Bella only to fall asleep to dreams filled with Bella. I awoke the next morning to the image of Bella, and today started to look up. I got out of bed, took my shower, got dressed and headed outside to the barn. Jasper showed up shortly after and we loaded the horses up and headed to the rodeo.

When we got there, we got the horses settled and went to sign in. I knew I would see Kate here, it was only a matter of time. She was so happy that Bella wouldn't be around this summer, but mad that she made it to the professional tour. I was starting to see the side of Kate that everyone around me saw, and I wasn't liking it. I was saddling my horse when I saw Kate walking towards me with someone I hadn't seen or heard from in a year.

"Edward, do you think we can talk?" Kate asked innocently.

"Yes Kate we can, because I also need to talk to you."

"Yes well, I'll go first." I nodded at Kate for her to continue. "Well, first off, your blind. Second, I don't think were going to work out. I've talked to a friend of mine, and he just proved what I knew already. I could tell that day when I was at the barn and you and Bella were on the same horse that you both liked each other. You were just to blind to see. So yeah, this just aint working out, so were done." And then she just walked away from me. _I guess you didn't need to talk to her. She just said everything that you wanted to say. _Jasper and I did our event taking second place, then headed home.

The next two months went by to fast. Everyday was me thinking of Bella, and wanting to see her. Jasper and I practicing or heading to a rodeo, and me training horses. Rose and Alice had talked to Bella and said she was doing good, but they felt like she was hiding something. From what I could understand she came home last night. We had planned on going to the bar tonight and playing pool and just hanging out. It was around 3 in the afternoon when Rose came home. She looked sad and I was wondering what was going on. She just told me to be ready to go shortly.

When we got to the bar, we waiting outside for Bella to show up. When I saw her, she was just as beautiful as I remembered. I noticed Seth walking beside her and my hope dropped a little bit. At first I was determined to show her how I felt, but now, now I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wanted Bella to be happy and if that meant letting her go, I would do it. We all headed into the bar, and everyone did there hugs and Alice squealed.

"So, Bella and Seth have some news!" Alice yelled. _This can't be good. _Everyone looked at Bella, waiting to see what she had to say. She looked me in the eyes, and I could see the storm that was building behind them.

"Seth and I are engaged. We're getting married." Bella almost whispered out. I felt my entire world crumble. Bella was with Seth and engaged, I couldn't do anything. I could hear everyone saying their congratulations before heading out to dance. I watched Bella, she didn't look happy. She came and asked me for a dance, and I couldn't deny her anything so I accepted. When we were walking, she grabbed my arm and I felt a shock of electricity go threw me, and I wondered if she felt it to. I pulled her to me and then we started dancing.

Lately I've been wandering

Off the narrow path

You've given me so many things that I've never had

All in all I know it's you that always pulls me through

If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true

Cuz I hate the way…I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice…yeah

I couldn't wait any longer and I just had to know. I leaned close to Bella's ear and asked her, "Bella, are you happy?"

She didn't answer me, instead she asked "Are you Edward?" I started thinking about how to answer her. I could tell that she thought she was happy, and she was putting on a good mask for every one. But with us hanging out last summer, I knew the truth, I saw right threw her, she wasn't happy.

Come on

The world I know is pulling me, more and more each day

I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray

Spiteful eyes are watching me

With everything I do

In the midst of darkness, Lord

My spirit calls for you

Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice yeah

(You know sometimes deep inside...)

I feel like death...

Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life

Yes I hate the way I feel inside

And I promise to make the sacrifice

I leaned in and whispered the rest of the song in her ear, just trying to tell her how I was feeling right now.

Yes, I hate the way I feel tonight

And I know I need you in my life..yeah

The way I feel, I hate the way... the way I feel...

When the song ended, I leaned in and kissed Bella's cheek and whispered "No Bella, I'm not happy." I walked away from her, just as she had done to be at homecoming, and headed back to our friends. I watched as everyone danced, and kept giving me weird stares, but I ignored those. I could tell by the way Bella touched me, that she still loves me, and I could tell she wasn't happy. It was right then and there, that I decided that no matter what, Isabella Swan was going to know that I loved her. To show her that would take some time, so to begin with, I needed my roping partner back. I went home that day and fell asleep to the plans of trying to get Bella back.

When I awoke the next morning, I knew Bella was coming over and today would be the day to talk to her. I pulled myself out of bed and got ready for the day before heading to the barn. I was in the middle of chores when Bella came into the barn, and I stopped doing chores so I could talk to her.

"Hey Bella, can I talk to you please?" She looked a little worried but agreed. "Bella, I don't blame you for doing what you did, but I do miss you as my roping partner. Please tell me that you and I can continue roping next year?"

"Edward, I'm still sorry for how I handled things, and if your still wanting me as a partner, then yes, I will rope with you next year. But I can not practice roping with you until after I finish the tour."

Bella left the following day to continue on her tour. I was just happy that she agreed to rope with me again. Not only would it mean we were going to be together a lot, it also meant that we would be the top team roping team around. Jasper and I finished out the season and every single day I thought about Bella. Bella was coming home today from the tour, and since she moved to La Push, we decided that she would keep Twister here instead of trailering him everyday to practice. She would be dropping him off today and we would start practicing tomorrow. When I heard her diesel coming down the driveway I met her outside to help her. Seth was with her, which didn't make me happy, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"Hey Bella, need any help?" I asked her when she jumped out. She started to open the trailer door to let Twister out.

"Uh, yeah, do you think I can keep his tack here so I don't have to keep it in my truck?"

"Yeah sure no problem. I'll grab your saddle and put it in the tack room, then you can grab the rest of the tack you use for him and bring it in there." I told her while picking up her saddle. They left shortly after, and I finished doing chores.

Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper had all left for college while I stayed here and continued to train horses. Bella and I had a lot of work to get us back to where we were last summer. We practiced six days a week, and every day I did something little to show my love for her. Whether is was touching her when brushing by her or tacking Twister up for her. I noticed she was becoming comfortable around me again, which was a good sign. The winter season went by fast and we were back to our low time. Every passing day was getting harder to stay away from Bella. It was almost fucking killing me to not be able to hold her.

The beginning of February I noticed she was acting a little nervous during our practice, but I didn't say anything. By the end of practice, she was missing her loops and could barely concentrate on what she was doing or her horse. It wasn't safe for us to continue to ride, when her mind was somewhere else. I told her we can stop, and left the arena to untack the horses. I looked at her face and she was so worried and I couldn't handle it anymore, I had to know what was going on.

"Bella, this summer will be fine. We can work it out to where when we don't have a rodeo, you can travel with Seth." It killed me to say that, almost felt like I was just giving up.

"What? Oh, I wasn't worried about that. Seth and I already had it figured out to do what you just said." She said nervously. She still didn't look at me and it started to worry me.

"Ok, then what's wrong?"

"Well, last summer I became friends with a girl named Jami Jensen. She's from Nebraska and her family owns a rodeo horse training barn." I nodded at her to continue, not knowing why this was making her so nervous. "Well, their barrel racing trainer is going to be retiring the end of this summer, and she offered me job. I accepted it, please don't be mad at me, we can still rope this summer." I couldn't be mad at her. I had heard of Jami Jensen and her families training barn and it was a damn good one, it was a good opportunity for her.

I couldn't handle it any longer. I walked up to her and put my lips to hers. At first she was shocked, didn't move, didn't do anything. I put my hands on her waist and she finally moved. I felt her lips start moving with mine while her hands worked their way up my forearm, to my biceps, to my shoulders, before they finally ended in my hair. I licked her bottom lip with my tongue, wanting to taste her, and she granted access. She tasted wonderful, like vanilla and strawberries, it was so intoxicating. Her tongue moving against mine while I explored the inside of her mouth made me feel in heaven. I didn't think it could get any better, until she slightly tugged at my hair causing me to moan, because damn, it felt great. When we finally pulled apart for air, Bella had a look of worry on her face before backing away from me and putting Twister in his stall then leaving.

I was worried that I had pushed to far while I was putting Jack away and feeding him. Kissing Bella felt right, like she was my other half. Just thinking about her nothing being there around me, almost killed me. I felt my chest tighten and it became hard to breath. Then I decided that it was time to back off, as long as she was my friend, I could be happy.

The next day Bella came at the same time to practice and was acting a little distant. When she looked at me I could see a storm of confusion, and sadness. I knew I needed to fix this before I lost her.

"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday. I crossed the line, I was just so happy for you." She finally looked at me, and my breath caught in my throat, she looked almost heartbroken.

"It's OK Edward, I know you were happy for me. Can we just forget about it?" I nodded even though I knew I couldn't forget about it. It was the best kiss I had ever had.

"Yeah, OK, let's practice Bella." I said as I grabbed my horse and started to walk in the arena.

Bella seemed a little better after that, but I could tell something was still bothering her. I wasn't going to force her to talk to me, even though I wish she would. Besides me loving Bella, she had became one of my best friends. I still kick my own ass for being a dick to her when she first moved back, but I know I'm different around her.

We were leaving for our first rodeo of the season today, Seth had left at the beginning of the week. We figured it out to when Seth was close by, and we didn't have a rodeo, Bella would drive and be with him. She was going to be doing a lot of traveling this summer, but she seemed to be ok with it.

When we got to Walla Walla, we went to sign in before getting the horses out. The rodeo was getting ready to start, so we decided to saddle the horses and get them warmed up. Bella saddled Twister first and had just got done saddling Sunny when I saw Kate walking towards us. _Great, what the hell does she want now? _

"Edward, your roping this year? I thought everyone left for college?" Kate asked.

"Yes I'm roping this year." I stated calmly. Bella didn't know that Kate and Jacob Black are dating. Hell she thought I was joking when I told her Kate and I were over.

"Please tell me your not roping with Bella. She's so worthless in the arena. Shouldn't even own horses." She sneered. Bella walked around the trailer at that time, and I could see that her face was red hot with anger.

"Yes, I am roping with Bella _again _this year." I was starting to lose my patience with her.

"Pathetic." Just that one word sent Bella over the edge.

"Kate, as I recall, I beat your ass the last time I raced against you." Kate just glared at Bella before walking away.

"What the fuck?!" Bella almost screamed. "Is she with fucking Jacob?" All I could do was nod at her, she was really pissed. Bella tied Twister and started to warm Sunny up for barrels. Kate was just leaving the arena when we got there, with a time of 18.23 seconds.

"I bet you can't beat that time with that old horse of yours Bella." Kate sneered. Bella just got a smug look on her face before entering the arena.

"You know Edward, you really should talk her into retiring." Kate spoke to me. I was watching Bella, I could never get enough of watching her ride Sunny in the arena.

"Kate, I will not let you stand here and talk shit on Bella." I said in a stern voice. Kate looked shock by what I said but didn't say anything. Bella left the arena with a time of 16.35 and just glared at Kate as she walked back to the trailer. I looked at Kate and just laughed and followed Bella.

By the end of the day Bella took first place in barrels and in team roping we took third, not a bad way to start the season off. We loaded the horses and started to head home. Bella turned the radio on, and we listened to a couple songs before Taylor Swift came on. Bella just laughed and started singing.

Friday night beneath the stars

In a field behind your yard

You and I are painting pictures in the sky

Sometimes we don't say a thing

Just listen to the crickets sing

Everything I need is right here by my side

And I know everything about you

I don't wanna live without you

I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me when I'm with you

Just a small-town boy and girl

Living in the crazy world

Trying to figure out what is and isn't true

And I don't try to hide my tears

My secrets or my deepest fears

Through it all nobody gets me like you do

And you know everything about me

You say that you can't live without me

I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me when I'm with you

When I'm with anybody else

It's so hard to be myself

And only you can tell

That I'm only up when you're not down

Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground

It's like no matter what I do

Well, you drive me crazy half the time

The other half I'm only trying

To let you know that what I feel is true

And I'm only me, who I wanna be

Well, I'm only me when I'm with you,

with you,

uh huh uh, yeah

Listening to the song, seemed to describe how I felt about Bella. When she's down, I want to do everything to make her happy. It seems like I'm always trying to show Bella that I love her. Yeah, this song was just... us. The rest of the way she sang to songs and we joked around. I was going to miss her this next week when she left to go be with Seth.

Bella left Sunday morning, and now it's Saturday. She was in Cheyenne Wyoming at the Cheyenne Frontier Days, I was stuck in Forks Washington. The last week I all I could think bout was Bella. I rolled myself out of bed and got ready for my long day of work ahead of me.

During the day I cleaned out ten stalls, moved hay from the hay shed to the barn, rode Jack and five of the training horses, cleaned the tack room, and washed horse blankets. To say I was fucking tired would be an understatement. I finally made it to the shower then crawled into bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was pulled into my dreams of Bella. I heard the faint ringing of my phone, but ignored it. I didn't want to wake up, I was in lala land happily holding Bella. Then I heard it again, and was ready to yell at whoever it was waking me up. I looked at my caller ID, and was ready to scream. What the hell was Rosalie calling me at midnight for?!

"What do you want Rose? It's midnight! Go to bed." I was pissed but when I heard her sniffle, my anger left me. _Oh shit, this can't be good. _

"Edward, there's been an accident."


	11. Just A Dream

Song For Chapter: Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Just A Dream

* * *

**BPOV**

Since I came home from the professional tour, everything has been great. Edward and I started roping again, and seemed like it was back to how it was before everything blew up in my face. The only thing different was, it seemed like Edward was touching me more or helping me out more. He would saddle Twister for me or would stand closer then normal. At first, I was unsure what to think, then I just brushed it off as Edward being friendly.

It was the beginning of February, so still pretty cold. I was walking to the door to put my coat on to do chores then head to Edward's to practice when my phone went off. I looked at the caller ID and couldn't help but smile.

"Well hello Miss Jami. What do I owe this surprise?" I asked.

"Hmm, let me think. How about you move your ass out here to Nebraska?" She said cheerful.

"Jami, did you take a crazy pill this morning? Because I'm pretty sure you lost your marbles." I laughed out.

"No, I did that yesterday on one of our trainers." She laughed and I couldn't help but laugh along with her. Jami and the trainers didn't always see eye to eye. "But the reason I'm calling is because you barrel race."

"Um, ok?" I asked confused.

"Bella, besides calling to talk to one of my best friends, I'm calling about a job offer." She stated seriously.

"I'm still lost?"

"Our barrel racing trainer is leaving us the end of this year. I'm offering you the job. I know you need to talk to Seth about it before you give me an answer. You would have an apartment here on the farm. Please just think about it." She begged.

"I'll let you know by the end of the day." I told her. We said our goodbyes and I closed my phone. I sat there at the kitchen table just thinking for a while. This could change everything, it's something I wanted to do eventually. I've always enjoyed helping people with their horses, even more so when it came to barrel racing. I didn't hear Seth walk into the kitchen until he placed his hand on my shoulder. I jumped a little bit then looked at him. He had a confused look on this face.

"Bella, is everything alright?"

"Seth we need to talk." He nodded and sat across from me at the table. "Jami just called me. She uh.... well.... her barrel racing trainer is leaving her the end of this year." He nodded for me to continue. "She um.... she offered me the job?" I couldn't help that it came out as a question. Seth looked at me shocked for a little while before a smile spread across his face.

"Bella, this is a great opportunity for you!" Seth yelled while getting out of his chair and grabbing me into a hug.

"I know it is, but how will this affect us?"

"Bella, I love you. We will work through this. Hell, we could move to Nebraska and if you ever got bored we could keep the farm and just move back. If this is what you want, call Jami and tell her you'll take the job." Seth kissed my temple before going to the bedroom to get dressed. I quickly called Jami and told her that I would love to take the job. She told me I would start in September shortly after my birthday. We said quick goodbyes with promises of calling each other soon.

I yelled up to Seth that I was leaving while walking out the door to do chores. After I fed Sunny, I got in the truck and headed to Edward's. I was nervous that he would think I was just leaving him again. During the entire practice, all I could think about was Edward was going to get mad at me. I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing, and I kept missing my loops. I was slowly driving myself crazy. Edward said we were done with practice and left the arena, me following after him. When I was just about to take my saddle off Twister, a thought crossed my mind, _what if I leave and nothing works out. If I lose my friends here and have nothing to come back to. _

"Bella, this summer will be fine. We can work it out to where when we don't have a rodeo, you can travel with Seth." Edward said.

"What? Oh, I wasn't worried about that. Seth and I already had it figured out to do what you just said." I said nervously.

"Ok, then what's wrong?"

Well here goes nothing. "Well, last summer I became friends with a girl named Jami Jensen. She's from Nebraska and her family owns a rodeo horse training barn." He nodded at me to continue. "Well, their barrel racing trainer is going to be retiring the end of this summer, and she offered me job. I accepted it, please don't be mad at me, we can still rope this summer." Edward looked like he was thinking about something for a moment. He walked up to me and put his lips to mine. At first I was shocked, didn't move, didn't do anything. He put his hands on my waist and then I finally moved. I started to move my lips against his, my hands worked their way up his forearm, to his biceps, to his shoulders, before they finally ended in his hair. He licked my bottom lip with his tongue, wanting to have access to my mouth, which I gladly gave him. My tongue started to move against Edward's while he explored the inside of my mouth. made me feel in heaven.

The way Edward's mouth moved with my was like heaven. I couldn't help it when I tugged on his hair a little big causing him to moan. When I started to gasp for air, I pulled away from him, when everything that just happened flashed through my mind. I just kissed someone that wasn't my fiance. What is Seth going to say? SHIT! I hurriedly grabbed Twister, put him in his stall, before running to my truck to leave.

When I got home, Seth wasn't there, so that left me and my mind alone. I went for a ride on Sunny hoping to clear my mind, and it didn't seem to do a damn thing. I got in the shower and went to bed. When I awoke the next morning, I had more questions then I did answers. Why did Edward kiss me? Why did he decide to kiss me now? _He was just happy for you, your just friends. Get over it. _

Seth left early this morning to travel and after the rodeo tonight, I was going to drive out to Cheyenne and meet up with the guys. I pulled myself out of bed, brushed my teeth and hair, and got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Before leaving the room, I grabbed another pair of jeans and one of my long sleeve shirts I use for rodeo. Heading out of the house, I put the clothes in my truck and hooked up my trailer, then loaded Sunny. Edward and I decided to do a quick practice before we left, so I headed over to his house.

Once I pulled in, I grabbed Sunny's hay bag and tied to the side of the trailer, then unloaded him so he could eat while we practiced. Walking into the barn, I got a little nervous once I saw Edward. When he kissed me yesterday, I was in heaven. But I couldn't help but think about why he did it. I saddled up Twister and noticed Edward kept looking at me. When I finally looked him in the eyes, I was confused, because I didn't know where this left us. Then I was sad, because there could never be an us. It would be Edward and Bella and Seth, never a Bella and Edward.

"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday. I crossed the line, I was just so happy for you." Edward broke the silence. I was heartbroken because I knew this was why he did it, but it just hurt more hearing him say it out loud.

"It's OK Edward, I know you were happy for me. Can we just forget about it?"

"Yeah, OK, let's practice Bella." He said as he grabbed my horse and started to walk in the arena.

I tried not to focus on that kiss, but it was hard. Once we finished with our quick practice, we loaded the horses and headed towards Walla Walla. The eight hour drive was quiet for the most part, with us just listening to the radio. Once we got there, we made our way to the office to check in and pay our dues. When we got back to the trailer, we unloaded the horses and started to saddle them. I saddled Twister first, then just as I finished saddling Sunny, I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again.

"Edward, your roping this year? I thought everyone left for college?" Kate asked.

"Yes I'm roping this year." Edward stated.

"Please tell me your not roping with Bella. She's so worthless in the arena. Shouldn't even own horses." She sneered. I thought that she learned her damn lesson the last time we competed against each other. I will not stand for her to trash talk me, let's just say I was pissed when I walked around my trailer.

"Yes, I am roping with Bella _again _this year." Edward said.

"Pathetic." That was all it took for me to open my mouth.

"Kate, as I recall, I beat your ass the last time I raced against you." Kate just glared at me before walking towards Jacob and giving him a kiss.

"What the fuck?!" I almost screamed. "Is she with fucking Jacob?" Edward just nodded at me. I was pissed.I tied Twister and started to warm Sunny up for barrels. Kate was just leaving the arena when we got there, with a time of 18.23 seconds.

"I bet you can't beat that time with that old horse of yours Bella." Kate sneered. I just looked at her, thinking that not only have I beaten her time, but she was also with my ex boyfriend.

I knew Sunny could handle the ground in this arena, and he knew what he was doing, so I just nudged him letting him know it was time to go, and just hung on. I left the arena with a time of 16.35 and just glared at Kate as I walked back to the trailer to get Twister. I could hear Edward following behind me laughing.

By the end of the day I took first place in barrels and in team roping we took third, not a bad way to start the season off. We loaded the horses and started to head home. I turned the radio on, and we listened to a couple songs before Taylor Swift came on. I laughed and started to sing along with the song. We joked and sang songs on the way home. I was enjoying the time with Edward knowing that the drive to Cheyenne tomorrow was going to be long and lonely. _But what your really going to miss is the time with Edward. _

When we got back I dropped Edward and his horse off, deciding to leave Twister at the farm in La Push. I already had it arranged with the neighbor girl Claire to take care of them while I was gone for the week. I unloaded the horses and fed them before heading inside to bed. I awoke at four the next morning to finish packing my bags and heading out the door.

Finally after a twenty hour drive I was pulling into the ranch in Casper. Embry and Seth met me in front of the house that we would be staying in until we make the two and a half hour drive on Saturday. When Seth pulled me into a hug and gave me a kiss, all I could see and feel was Edward. _This can't be healthy! _

"Bella, I'm so happy you made it here safely." Seth said with Embry agreeing with him.

"Yep, here I am. I'm really tired, do you guys mind if I head to bed?" I asked. They both said to go ahead and that Seth would bring my bag into the room for me. Once I laid down on the bed, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. Wednesday and Thursday I helped out Emily as much as possible trying to figure out how I'm going to tell Seth about the kiss between Edward and I. Friday I was out in the barn helping Sam move hay when Seth and Embry came in.

"Hey Sam, mind if I steal Bella for a couple minutes?" Seth asked.

"No, go ahead, we are about done moving hay anyway." Sam answered. Seth grabbed my hand as I was taking my gloves off and handing them to Embry to use. Seth started to pull me towards the pasture and remained silent. _This can't be good. _Once we were far enough away from people to hear us, Seth turned to look at me. Looking in his eyes, I could see sadness and that he almost seemed hopeless.

"Bella, please tell me what is going on." He asked.

"What are you talking about?" I asked innocently.

"You have been pretty much avoiding me since you got here. Please tell me why."

"Seth... I... we.... fuck! I don't know what to do!" I almost screamed because I was so frustrated.

"Do about what Bella?"

"Last week something happened, and I'm not sure what to think."

"What happened?"

"Well... I.. um... Edward and I kissed?" I was a little nervous about how he would take that.

It seemed to take him a while before he answered. "Bella... what are you feeling? How do you feel about Edward.... about me?"

Now it was my turn to think. How did I feel? "You want the truth Seth?" He nodded at me so I continued. "I'm not really sure how I feel. When it comes down to it, I love you both." I had silent tears rolling down my cheeks before I could even try to stop them. Seth looked at me then to the ground.

"Bella, I love you, I want to marry you. When I asked you to marry me, I had a feeling that you still loved Edward. I want you to take the time that you need, to figure out what you want. Whether it's me or Edward, I just want you happy."

I just stood there shocked, did he really just say that? I nodded at him and we headed back to the house. I went and laid down in the bed to think. Seth knew I still loved Edward, but he still went ahead and asked me to marry him. When he asked me to marry him, I knew that I still loved Edward, so why did I agree to marry him? Did I think that if I was to marry Seth, all my feelings would just go away when it came to Edward? Some time while thinking I fell asleep.

Friday we all just hung around before heading to Cheyenne to do some shopping before the rodeo. Saturday before Seth rode I knew I needed to talk to him. We hadn't talked alone for a while. Walking up to him behind the chutes, I whispered in his year if we could talk. He nodded and pulled us away from everyone.

"What's up Bella?" He asked. I got on my tippy-toes and gave him a kiss. It started out sweet and innocent, but I soon found myself wanting more. I licked his bottom lip, he soon opened his mouth and our tongues started moving together. I couldn't help the moan that came out of my mouth. In this moment, I could only think of Seth, the way he tasted, the way he smelled, the way he touches me. It was all to much. I tugged a little bit on his hair, making him moan into my mouth and lean into me. I felt like we could kiss forever. The only thing that pulled Seth away from me was the announcement of the starting of bull riding.

"I love you Seth. I just wanted you to know that, and never doubt that I love you."

"I love you to Bella, I just want you happy." He gave me another kiss before going behind the chutes again. I went to the stands and quickly found a place to sit. It was close to the edge so when the guys were done riding, I could easily get back to the chutes. Seth was second to last to ride, so I watched everyone else. Embry got thrown, and Quil got a score of 68. Since it rained yesterday the arena was pretty muddy and I was happy I wasn't competing in this rodeo, but I felt sorry for the people to had to get in the mud for their events. _Make sure to remind the guys to change clothes and get cleaned up before they get in my truck. _

"Next up we have Seth Clearwater of Forks Washington in chute number seven!" The announcer said. I couldn't help but let the scream out of my mouth to cheer him on. I saw him nod his head, as the chute door opened and the bull came flying out. Seth stuck to the bull as it was twisting and turning trying to get him off. After eight seconds, the buzzer went and Seth jumped off the bull landing in the mud.

From there, it seemed like everything happened in slow motion, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Seth wasn't standing yet, he had just landed in the slippery, slick mud,and was raising himself up on his hands and knees, keeping his eyes on the bull. He knew the bull was there, right there, charging at him from behind. He tried to scoot away, but his cowboy boots gave him no traction on the muddy ground.

He tried to lunge forward fast, but the bull was faster. The bull hit Seth with his head in the back of Seth's legs, and knocked Seth flat on the ground. Seth turned on his right side, trying to keep his eyes on this animal that weighed a ton. Then he started to curl up. If he couldn't get away, then he knew he had to make himself as small as possible.

The bull, still agitated and moving forward, never stopping, turned and dipped his head, and pushed his right horn into Seth's left side. It hit Seth hard enough and long enough, to slide him forward on the muddy ground. The bull bucked over Seth, moving towards the bull fighters. Seth quickly got to his feet and, holding his left arm stiffly at his side, he began a slow jog back to the gates. He motioned with his right arm for help, but before anyone could get to him, he collapsed and fell back into the mud. I saw Quil and Embry running out to the arena, and I was quickly behind them.

"NO!!" I screamed while I climbed over the paneled fence, running and slipping in the mud until I finally got close to him. Embry heard me screaming and hurried to me and grabbing me as I collapsed with him in the mud. The EMT's quickly strapped Seth to the stretcher and rushed to the ambulance. Quil came jogging over to us, and picked me up carrying me to the truck. I was numb, I couldn't think of anything except what I just saw. I felt one of the guys digging in my jeans for my keys before putting me in the back seat.

This can not be happening. Seth will be ok. It's not that bad, he'll just be sore for the next few days. I closed my eyes and saw the look for horror and pain on Seth's face before letting out a sob. We quickly arrived at Memorial Hospital and rushed into the emergency room. We didn't have to wait long before the doctor came out. Just the look on his face told me everything I didn't want to know or hear.

"The bull's horn didn't break through Seth's skin, however the horn had broken his ribs. The broken ribs severed a main artery. I'm so sorry, we tried everything we could, but we just couldn't bring Seth back." I heard everyone around me gasp and start crying. Me, I was so numb, I didn't feel anything. It was like I was no longer in my body. I grabbed my keys from Quil and ran out to my truck. As soon as I got in, I started it and threw it in reverse. I left the parking lot as fast as possible.

It was two weeks after the day she turned 18

All dressed in white

Going to the church that night

she had his box of letters in the passangers seat

six pence in her shoe

something borrowed,something blue

And when the church doors opened up wide

She put her veil down trying to hide the tears

Oh she just couldn't believe it

She heard the trumpets from the military band

And the flowers fell out of her hands

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray

Lord please lift his soul and heal this hurt

Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song

That she ever heard

Then they handed her a folded up flag

And she held on to all she had left of him

Oh, And what could've been

And then guns rang one last shot and it felt like a bullet in her heart

I couldn't do it anymore. I pulled out my cell phone and called the one person that could help me threw this.

**RPOV**

The party tonight was really good. They had a live band, and of course the beer. Damn, I love college. Alice and I had just entered our dorm room when my phone started ringing. I looked at the time and saw it was past 11:30 then looked at the caller ID to see Bella's name flashing at me. I quickly answered, wondering why she was calling me this late.

"Hello?"

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

I can't even breathe

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

"Rose, he's gone. He's gone." Bella was sobbing. Shit this can't be good.

"Bella, whose gone?"

"Seth. The bull killed him." She was sobbing so hard.

"Bella, calm down, where are you?"

Baby, why'd you leave me

Why'd you have to go

I was counting on forever

Now I'll never know

Ooh, I'll never know

It's like I'm, looking from a distance

Standing in the background

Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now

This can't be happening to me

This is just a dream

"I don't know, I'm driving. FUCK!!" I heard her scream.

Oh, This is just a dream

Just a dream

yeahhh...

I heard the sound of brakes and skidding, followed by the sound of metal being crunched and glass breaking. "Bella!" I screamed. I didn't hear anything. "Bella!" I screamed again. Still silence.

"Miss Swan, this is Betty with All-star, we got a signal you were just in a roll-over. Are you alright?" _O fuck, Bella, please answer. _"Miss Swan can you hear me? We have notified local law enforcement that you were in a wreck ten miles north of Cheyenne. I will stay with you until law enforcement get there."

"Bella!" I screamed out again, only to notice that the line went dead. "FUCK!" I yelled out loud. I quickly found Charlie's number while telling Alice what I just heard.

"Swan residence." I heard Charlie answer.

"Charlie! It's Bella, she's been in a wreck outside of Cheyenne. Seth was killed riding tonight." I started sobbing out.

"Rose calm down. I'm heading out of the door right now!" I hung up my phone and started crying. Alice grabbed me in a hug crying before she got on the phone to make arrangements for us to fly out to Cheyenne. The she quickly called Jasper and told him and Emmett to get over to our dorm so we could leave while filling them in. Everyone was informed, except for Edward. I started dialing his number, only to have to restart three times because of my shaking fingers. I finally got the number in and hit send.

"What do you want Rose? It's midnight! Go to bed." I could tell that I woke him up and he was pissed. A sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it.

"Edward, there's been an accident."

"What's wrong Rose."

"Bella was upset and Oh God!" I screamed out. "Seth was riding tonight and the bull killed him. Bella was upset and was driving. Edward, she rolled her truck."

"Where is she Rose?" He almost growled out. I knew he loved Bella, he just wouldn't admit it.

"She's outside of Casper. We are flying out. Please come!" I didn't hear anything. "Edward?" I looked at my phone to see that he had already hung up. Everyone had arrived and we left the room jumping into Jasper's truck. I tried calling Bella's phone and it went straight to her voice mail.

"_Hey this is Bella. I'm either on a horse, in the arena, or just can't make it to my phone. Leave a message and I'll get back to ya!" _

Please God, let Bella be alright and make it through this!

* * *

**Ok guys, I gotta say sorry. I wanted to get this up earlier today, but it was really nice for the first time in like 2 weeks so I rode my horse. Well that didn't end up to well since he got spooked and I got thrown. But I finally got this chapter finished and up. This chapter is dedicated to Lane Frost. He was a great buller rider, and is greatly missed. Please Review and let me know what you think. **


	12. Sorry

**Hey everyone. I gotta say a major sorry. **

**I'm about halfway done with Chapter 12 but somethings have come up.**

**Sunny (my horse) decided to be a smart one and cut his front leg all to hell.**

**So I've been treatin him and hopefully his leg does a full recovery and I won't have to **

**worry about long term problems. For those who don't know, Sunny is my real barrel racing horse**

**so I really gotta take care of him, since he is my best friend, plus he brings home my paycheck.**

** I'm going to hopefully work on Chapter 12 tonight, and try to get it up by tomorrow, again depends on how Sunny is doing. **

**So I'm sorry this aint an update, but please understand I gotta put my horse first. **

**Thanks again!!**

**~Carrie  
**


	13. If Today Was Your Last Day

Song For Chapter: If Today Was Your Last Day by: Nickelback

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

If Today Was Your Last Day

* * *

BPOV

_Beep...... Beep......Beep.......Beep _I wonder if Seth is going to shut off the damn alarm clock.

_Beep...... Beep......Beep.......Beep _What the hell? Leave it to a man to never wake up.

_Beep...... Beep......Beep.......Beep _I tried opening my eyes, but they seemed so heavy. Maybe if I just ignore it, I can go back to sleep.

_Beep...... Beep......Beep.......Beep _I tried opening my eyes again, only this time I was assaulted by lights. I quickly closed them again. _Damn how long did we sleep it? It shouldn't be this bright! _I slowly opened my eyes again, letting my eyes adjust only to be met by.... everyone. What the hell is everyone doing in our bedroom? Looking around, I noticed they all had a sad expression. I was confused, one why was everyone in my bedroom, and two, why did everyone look so sad?

"Bella, dear?" I looked up at Esme as she talked. "Do you know where you are?"

I snorted, "Of course, what I don't know is why everyone is in my bedroom." I heard someone mumble something about not remembering what happened. What the hell? I remember going to the rodeo last night and Seth and I coming home. I quickly looked beside me, but Seth wasn't there. Where's Seth?

Then I remembered swerving to hit that damn deer. "The deer, I... I..... I hit a deer..... Where's Seth? Is he alright?" I looked over at Embry when he left out a sob and shook his head. "The bull.... Seth.... Oh God..... no..." I kept shaking my head. This can't be.

"Bella, calm down. Tell us what you remember." Carlisle spoke.

"Seth riding, jumping off, the bull charging him, rushing to the hospital, the doctor, driving my truck, hitting deer...... rolling my truck." Rose started sobbing. Why is she crying? She wasn't there, so why is she crying. _Rose asking if I was alright, where I was, Rose screaming my name. _I felt like someone had grabbed my throat cutting off the air supply my lungs where begging for. Everyone started to get blurry from the tears in my eyes. "Rose, you..... you heard.... I'm sorry." I sobbed out. I started shaking so badly and I couldn't control it. My entire world crumbled down on me.

"She needs to be sedated, this is to much for her mind to handle." I don't know who said it, but shortly after I felt a stinging in my hand. Looking down I noticed I had an IV in my hand, so I must be in the hospital. I welcomed the darkness as I started being swallowed into it.

Being in this blackness, I felt nothing. No pain, no worries, no loss, nothing. My entire body became numb. I didn't have to come to the realization that Seth was gone, or the fact that when I go home, he won't be there.

When I awoke the only person in my room was Edward. As soon as I saw him fresh tears came along with a quit loud sob. Edward rushed over to my bed and carefully pulled me into a hug. I sat there and cried for what could have been minutes or hours before the doctor entered the room.

"Miss Swan, I'm glad that your awake. Are you ready to discuss your injuries?" I nodded at him. "You have about a hundred stitches on your arms due to the glass cutting you, six stitches on your face, and had a dislocated shoulder which we put back in. All in all, your very lucky you came out of the accident with what you have. Do you have any questions?"

Oh yeah, I'm so lucky that all in one day I lost my fiance and rolled my truck, I'm the luckiest person in the world. "When can I leave and go home?"

"We'd like to keep you the remainder of the day, and if everything looks well tonight, you'll be discharged in the morning." I nodded at him and he turned around and left.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward squeezed my hand lightly.

"I'm as good as I can be given the moment. Edward, how bad is my truck? I remember talking to Rose and then a deer ran out in the road, I tried to miss it. Then I remember hitting it and going off to the side of a hill. I remember feeling my truck tumble, hearing the glass break, from there I don't remember."

Edward sighed before he answered me, "Bella, your truck rolled down the hill about three times before coming to a stop against a tree on the passenger side. It's totaled."

"Are we still in Cheyenne?" Edward nodded. "How are we getting back to Forks?"

"We all flew out here. Your dad has bought you a ticket home already." I nodded and fell back into silence, thinking about things. How did my life get so turned upside down? One minute I'm happy and the next my life has became a living hell. I looked on my left hand where my ring was. I finally realized that I had no right to wear this ring. I loved Seth, but I wasn't _in love_ with him. In my heart, I felt like I kind of used him to get over Edward, and that just made me feel like shit. I slid my ring off just as everyone was walking in the room.

When I looked up, I was looking into Alice's eyes. They were swimming with sadness, whether it was because of me, Seth, or a mixture of both. But I had a feeling it was more for me, she liked Seth, but she had made it known to me that I shouldn't marry him. That it wasn't right of me to love Edward but be engaged to Seth, and now I realized what she meant. It only hurt people in the end, and I had taken the cowards way out. I ran from Edward without giving him a chance to say how he felt, if he felt anything, right into the arms of a man that I took for granted. I would miss Seth, but I knew I didn't deserve his love. I didn't deserve anything he gave me or that we shared.

Alice looked at me and cocked an eyebrow, secretly asking me what was wrong. I gave her a small smile when she grabbed my hand. I slid my ring into her hand, silently asking her to hang on to it, she gave me a short nod before putting it in her pocket. The rest of the day passed in a blur with people coming and going followed by the doctor coming in that night and gave me the ok to leave in the morning. That night after everyone said their goodnight's, I drifted off to sleep.

_I was riding out in the pasture, just walking and enjoying the outdoors. I heard Seth's voice and started looking for him. I finally spotted him ahead of me, so I kicked the horse into a run to get to him faster. When I was close enough, I jumped off the horse right into his arms giving him a tight hug. _

_ "Bella, babe, how I've missed you." I started sobbing remembering that I wasn't good enough for him. _

_ "I've missed you." _

_ "Bella, I know how you feel. That you weren't good enough for me. The truth it, it's the other way around." I looked at him confused before he continued. "I rushed you into wanting to get married, even though I knew you loved Edward. I blame myself, but I also blame you. You never spoke up until it was to late. You still love him, and you always will. You two are suppose to be together. Don't be afraid to go after what you want to do and be who you want to be. But dont be afraid to be willing to pay the price. You need to take the time to grieve for me, but when it's time, you need to step up and go after what you want." Seth gave me a quick chaste kiss before walking away from me. _

_ I tried running after him, but he got farther and farther away. I sat down in the grass and started to cry until I saw a hand reach down for me. I looked up into emerald green eyes. _

_ "Don't cry love, I'm here. I've always been here, I love you." Edward stated. _

I startled awake, breathing heavily. I couldn't stop thinking about that dream. Is that what Seth really would have wanted? Before I had time to think about it, everyone wondered back into my room to get my stuff ready to leave. On the way to the air port I was able to call my insurance company, and they had a check

Soon we were at the airport and boarding the plane. It was decided that once we got in Seattle, I would go to the insurance company, get the check, and go buy a new truck. The ride there seemed short, but then again, I wasn't really paying attention. We stopped at the insurance company and got the check. Everyone decided to just meet us back at Forks after dropping Rose, Alice and I off at the Chevrolet dealership. It didn't take me long to find a truck just like my old one, except in a blue. After doing all the paperwork, and grabbing something to eat, we were on our way home.

"Bella, how are you doing?" Alice asked.

"As well as expected Alice. I don't think everything has fully caught up to me yet."

We spend most of the ride in silence, nobody really sure what to say. When we got to Forks, I dropped them off at Rosalie's house and headed for La Push. Pulling up our driveway, I felt the tears that started to build in my eyes. Seth would never come home again. I parked in my spot next to Seth's truck, and slowly made my way inside. I kept it together until I made it to the bedroom, then I just lost it. I laid there and cried for hours before a thought came to me. I couldn't continue to live here. Everything reminded that I didn't love Seth enough to prevent this from happening.

The next day the family and I met at Harry and Sue's to go over everything for the funeral. Pulling up to there house, I saw Leah leaning against her car. I got out and hugged her and we just let the tears go. I'm not sure how, but we ended up in the house. I hugged everyone before we finally sat down around the table in the dining room.

"Thank you all for joining me, I wish it was under better circumstances. Besides going over the details of the funeral, we also need to talk about the property and finances of Mr. Clearwater. I believe that the property in Seth's name also belongs to a Isabella Swan, is she present?" I nodded at the lawyer and told him that was me. "Ms. Swan, since your name is on the deed, the property is yours do as you wish. Also, there is a checking account with both yours and Seth's name on it. That money is also yours to do with as you please." I was shocked! I didn't know Seth had put my name on his checking account. The lawyer passed everything over to me and then started talking about the funeral. After several hours, everything was planned and the lawyer left.

"Bella, dear, are you ok? You don't seem to be with us?" Sue asked. I looked at her with tears knowing this wasn't easy for her either.

"Well, I would like to talk to everyone. To start with, I would like to know if anyone is interested in the farm?" They all looked at me confused. "I can not stay there, it reminds me to much of everything. If anyone is interested, they can have it, if not, I'm going to sell it. Also when I finished paying off the costs for the funeral, the money that is left over I would like to donate to the Justin Cowboy Crisis Fund. I noticed that that was a foundation Seth made monthly donations to, and it's for a good cause."

"Bella, if you don't mind, I would like the farm, I would like for it to stay in the family." Leah spoke up.

"No problem, please give me a couple weeks to gather my things." She nodded at me and I signed the paperwork stating that Leah now owned the farm. They all agreed to where the money should be donated.

By the end of February I was mentally and physically exhausted. Seth and I decided to hold off on our engagement, Seth's death, my accident, moving out of the farm, donating over $125,000 to the Justin Cowboy Crisis fund and finally, my last goodbye to Seth at the funeral.

_I awoke that morning not wanting to move, but knowing that I had to. Today I would say a final goodbye to Seth. I pulled myself up out of bed, and went through my morning routine. When I got to the funeral home, I walked to the casket that held Seth. We had dressed him in his wranglers, boots, and a nice western shirt, but there was something else I needed him to rest in piece with, my engagement ring. I slipped it into his front pocket and silently said "I love you Seth, I'm just sorry I couldn't love you enough." I sat in the chairs for the family and close friends. As the service went on, Leah got up and talked._

_This is indeed a sad day for all of us. We have lost such a great person. I think sharing our grief would help us ease our burdens. My brother may have meant something to each and every one of you, personally, he was my guardian angel. I remember when we were in school he often got into fights because of me. People used to tease me and he didn't want to see me get hurt so he tried to protect me. He is also the only person I could confide in. I could talk to him about anything because he never judged or scolded me. He always has some great advice ready for me. He had this trait where he could always turn a dull party around._

_ My brother was such a character. He knew how to be serious at times and he also knew when to joke around. As a friend he was also very dear. He always found time to be with his friends. He was a very loyal and kind friend. He was also very polite; he was the kind of man who always opened doors for ladies. He could be very immature at times but that's just because he was still a child inside a young man's body._

_ I know my brother left lots of things undone and others that he never had a chance to start. I remember one of our talks growing up, we talked about death and how our funerals should be. My brother didn't like to see people cry, especially his family. We only talked about this as a joke and now I realize why he mentioned it. He told me he wanted to have rides at his funeral or anything that would make people happy. I jokingly answered him that I could easily arrange for it but I'd have to face mom's wrath. He just answered "that'll no longer be my problem". That talk happened just last month. Let's just be thankful for all the special moments that my brother has left us. And with that, I hope that my brother will continue to live on within our hearts and minds. _

_ By the time she was done talking, I couldn't control the sob that broke through me. The service was over shortly after followed by the burial. _

I was back to living with my dad and my horses where back to being boarded at Cullen Farms. This was my clean slate. I was starting over. I wasn't going to regret anything from now on, and I wasn't going to be a coward about my decisions. Seth's death and my wreck made me wake up. It was time for me to grow up and act like the nineteen year old I was.

I decided that it was time to get back in the arena, so Edward and I started back on our regular practice schedule. We were going to finish this season off right. At first being around Edward was a little weird for me, after all Seth told me right before he died that he knew I still love Edward.

By the end of the rodeo session, Edward and I had gotten close. He would hold my hand once in a while, or kiss me on the cheek, he even offered to travel to Nebraska to help me move. We finished out the season in fourth place for team roping earning us some money. I was leaving for Nebraska in two days, and Alice was throwing a going away party. I dressed in a simple pair of light jeans, a blue thank top, my camo boots and a necklace that had Cowgirl on it. I drove out to the Cullen's house where Alice was having the party. Before I could even shut my truck off, Alice came bouncing up to me.

"Bella! Yay your here!" She yelled.

"Uh, yeah Alice, you threatened that if I didn't show up you were gonna beat me." I laughed at the image of Alice trying to beat me up.

"Yes, well, were all going to miss you. Make sure you keep Edward in line driving out there. I know this is a great opportunity for you!" We had entered the the barn and everyone greeted me and gave me a hug. We talked and ate lots of food and snacks. I was truly going to miss everyone, but this was something I couldn't pass up. I mean come on, training horses at one of the top barns in the USA. I'd be a fucking moron if I turned it down.

Before I knew it, I was picking up my horses along with Edward to make the drive to Nebraska. The drive was long, but comfortable. Edward and I talked along the way and got to know somethings that we didn't know about each other. As I was getting ready to pull into the drive way of Jami's, a song came on so I slowed down so I could listen to it.

My best friend gave me the best advice

He said each day's a gift and not a given right

Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind

And try to take the path less traveled by

That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?

What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life

What's worth the price is always worth the fight

Every second counts 'cause there's no second try

So live like you're never living twice

Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you're dreaming of?

Swear up and down to God above

That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day

Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?

You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars

Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes

'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life

Let nothing stand in your way

'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late

Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?

Leave old pictures in the past?

Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?

Reminisce old memories?

Would you forgive your enemies?

And would you find that one you're dreaming of

Swear up and down to God above

That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

When the song ended, I knew that the past was history. And today was the start of a new tomorrow.

EPOV

----------

The last couple of months have been hard on Bella. I could tell she was blaming herself for Seth's death. I didn't want to move onto her, because I knew she wasn't ready. Driving to Nebraska with her was probably the best thing I could have done. I was able to get close to her, and I didn't know when I would get to see her next. When we were almost there, a Nickelback song came on. By the end of the song, Bella seemed finally at peace with herself. Listening to the song, I knew that if today was my last day, I wouldn't be ready. I decided that before my plane left to take me back to Forks, I would tell Bella how I felt. When we pulled up by the barn, we were met with a shorter lady. She was probably the same size as Bella, with shorter dark hair and hazel eyes.

"Bella, so glad you made it safely!" The woman said.

"Thank you Jami. We didn't have any problems. This is a good friend of mine Edward, Edward this is my new boss Jami." Bella said. I stepped forward and shook her hand.

"Well, lets get your horses unloaded and settled in, then we will show you the apartment you will be living in."

After we got the horses settled in, I helped Bella move what little stuff she brought with her into her new apartment. We spend the next day walking around where she was going to be living at, and getting settled in. I was leaving tomorrow morning, so I told Bella I would make dinner tonight. I ended up making us lasagna for dinner. We ate and then I cleaned up. Bella was getting ready for bed and I knew it was now or never.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" She sat down on the couch and nodded for me to continue. "Bella that song song that we listened to right before we got here, it got me thinking. When you told me that you loved me then left, I felt a pain in my chest, and at first I didn't know what caused it. The more I got to thinking about it, I knew what was causing it."

"Edward, what in the world are you talking about?" Bella asked.

"What I'm saying Bella, is that I love you!"

* * *

**Ok so I finally got it up. If you would like more info on the Justin Cowboy Crisis Fund go to **.com/en/cowboy_

**As for my horse, well he's getting better but still a dork. I'm going to try getting another chapter up before Saturday because Rifle Deer season starts then. And I have a bet going with my husband I'll get the bigger buck hehe. Well let me know what ya think of this chapter! **


	14. Far Away

Song For Chapter: Far Away by Nickelback

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Far Away

* * *

BPOV

Since Edward told me he loved me , everything changed. The last five years have been really hard, but more then worth it. When I think about it, I can still feel Edward's hand on me.

_"What I'm saying Bella, is that I love you!"_

_ "Wh-What? How long?" I finally spit out. _

_ "Since you first told me. I loved you enough to let you go, so you can be with Seth." Edward has loved me for awhile. No wonder he acted the way he did when I told him I was engaged. I couldn't handle it any longer, I threw myself at Edward. I pressed my lips to his. He was shocked at first, then he put one hand on my waist and the other in my hair pulling me to him. I had waited so long to do this. His tongue traced my bottom lip begging for entrance. _

_ I gladly gave him and his tongue explored my mouth playing with my tongue. I let out a soft moan and put my hands in Edward's hair. He pushed me back so I was laying on the couch and he was hovering over me. He removed his hand from my hair only to put it on my waist and slowly moved both hands up taking my shirt with him. I leaned up and removed my shirt, removing his shortly after. I took a moment to look at his chiseled abs and that sexy "V" that disappeared into his jeans. _

_ "See something you like Bella?" Edward said between kisses on my neck. He started sucking on my ear lobe causing me to shiver. _

_ "Yes I do Edward, and I plan on seeing a lot more while I'm at it." I said running my hands down his abs. It was amazing to see his muscles tighten under my touch. When I got to his waist line, right above his jeans, I ran my hand back and forth between his hip bones. I knew how I was making him feel just by the erection being pressed into my thigh. _

_ "Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" I nodded my head as he picked me up and carried me to my bed. He kissed all over my body as he finished taking my clothes off, as well as his. When he pulled my jeans off, he kissed his way back up my legs, softly touching his lips with mine. _

_ "Edward, I need to tell you something." I said as he kissed along my neck, which he only hummed in response. "I'm a virgin." _

_ "Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, just to make sure. I nodded at him and felt him line himself at my opening. His brought his lips back to mine while he mumbled, "Bella, I'm sorry, this is going to hurt." He slowly pushed inside me. I felt the burn from him stretching me and once he was all the way in, he held still waiting for me. Right now I was so glad that since I ride horses, I didn't have a "cherry" to pop. Once I didn't feel the pain any longer, I started to move my hips against him, letting him know it was ok to move. _

_ He started off moving slow. I could feel the hot pressure start to build in my stomach, so I started to move against Edward a little more. He reached down and started to rub circles around my bundle of nerves and I felt wave after wave of pleasure. Edward wasn't far behind as I felt him warm seed shoot into me. He rolled off me then pulled me so my back was resting against his chest, and that's how we fell asleep. _

_ The next morning driving to the airport was hard. I mean, where did this leave us? Once we got there, he grabbed my hand and I walked with him as far as I could before he pulled me into his chest. _

_ "Bella, I love you, and I'll wait for you. But please, take your time, this is a great opportunity for you and I don't want you to miss it."_

_ "I love you to Edward." I said as he placed his lips on mine. I watched him walk away until I couldn't see him any longer. I held it together until I got to my truck, then the silent tears started. Once I got back, I threw myself into work. I had over twenty horses that needed to be worked on barrels and it was the perfect distraction. _

_ Over the last month and a half, the only way I kept in contact with everyone was through text messaging. I didn't have time to do anything else. I would wake up, eat, work my ass off all day wether it was training, cleaning stalls, or working my own horses, eating dinner, shower, bed, and then waking up and doing it all over again. _

"Mommy! Mommy! Let's go! Aunt Jami said we are going to be late if we don't leave now!" Jayce yelled at me. O yeah did I mention that, that one night stand with Edward gave me a beautiful little girl? Jayce Marie Swan was born May 5th. She had Edward's emerald green eyes, my brown hair with a reddish tint to it.

_This is not how I am suppose to spend my twentieth birthday. I was sitting in the doctors office, scared shitless. I had missed my period and that never happened. So I got a home pregnancy test, and well let's just say that's why I am where I am: The doctors office. _

_ "Well Miss Swan it looks like you are pregnant. Both the urine and blood tests came back positive. Your due date will be around May third. Any questions?" I shook my head no, letting everything soak in. "Alright then, we'll go ahead and get you set up for your next appointment." _

_ After I got done with everything at the doctor's office, I headed back home. When I got there, I told Jami what was going on and she told me to take the rest of the day off. I decided to call Edward and get that part of this over with. I headed into my apartment and grabbed a bottle of water before walking to the couch and pulling my cell phone out of my purse. I dialed Edward's number and waited. _

_ "Hello?" Said a woman's voice. I quickly looked at my phone to make sure I dialed the correct number. _

_ "Uh, is Edward available?" _

_ "No, he's um.... busy right now." She giggled out. I couldn't help it, I hung up and cried. So much for waiting for me, asshole! I couldn't believe it, he said he'd wait and then a chick answers his phone, I mean seriously? So does that mean he even meant it when he said he loved me? I called my family and told them the news, they all wished I was married first, but wished me luck and said they'd help me out. Next up, Rose and Alice._

_ "Hello?" Alice's chipper voice answered. _

_ "Hey Alice, is Rose around you?" _

_ "Yeah, hang on....... K, your on speaker phone. What's up?" _

_ "Well there's no easy way to say this so I'm just going to say it. I'm pregnant." I said calmly. _

_ "Who's the dad?" They both asked. Well shit, here goes nothing. _

_ "Whose in the room with you?" _

_ "Just us two, why?" Alice asked. _

_ "You can NOT tell anyone this and if you do, I will never talk to either of you again! Got it?!" _

_ "Yes!" They both said at the same time. _

_ "Um, hey Aunt Rose." _

_ "What the fuck? Why are you calling me Aunt Rose? I'm not your fucking au.. wait a minute! It's Edward's baby?!" She finally caught on. _

_ "Yes, but you can't tell him." _

_ "Bella, you need to tell him. I mean he needs to know." _

_ "No, I called him to tell him and some girl answered the phone. When she said he was busy, she giggled. So he's not ready to be a father." Before we hung up, they both agreed with me and were mad at Edward. _

"Alright let's go baby girl."

"Mom, I'm not a baby anymores." Jayce whined.

"You'll always be my baby." I said leaning down to kiss her on her forehead before walking out the door. Jami already had the horses loaded. Since I retired Sunny at the age of 21 and only used Twister as a back up horse, Jayce had been riding them and was going to show them this year. Soon after I retired them I bought a dun mare, Kissee, that I used for barrel racing. She was already beating Sunny's time, so I knew she would be a good horse. And then I bought Grace, she's only a coming two year old, but she's fast. I plan on using her for roping. For Jayce's first show I dressed her in a blue tank top, blue jeans, brown boots and her black cowboy hat. Once she was ready to enter the arena, I would put on her blue crystal show shirt.

I helped Jayce into the truck since the horses and tack where already loaded and headed to Kearney, a twenty minute drive for the show. Jami was going to meet us there, she said she was meeting someone but wouldn't tell me who. Over the last five years, Jami has become one of my best friends. She was there when I went into labor before my family could make it. Rose and Alice where true to their word, and didn't tell anyone. I allowed her to tell her parents, as long as they didn't say anything to Edward. I was still mad at him and felt betrayed. But I was going to let him be, and when and if he proved to me that he could handle being a father I would let him. I wouldn't put my daughter through that.

Every time I called him the same girl answered, and he never returned my text messages, I finally just gave up. Rose said that she was working for him but thought something else was going on. So I was going to do what he did to me when I was Seth. He loved me enough to let me go, so I will do the same. As long as he's happy then that's what mattered. I wish my daughter knew her father, but she knew her aunt and grandparents. Pulling into the fairgrounds, I quickly found a place to park and unload horses. Before I could even get my door open, Jayce had already jumped out and was running to the back of the trailer.

"Jayce Marie! You know better then to run around horses!" I scolded.

"I'm sorry mom." She pouted and helped me open the back of the trailer. I walked in and untied Twister since he was at the back of the trailer and started to back him out. Once I got him out, I tied him up and went back in to get Sunny. Poor old boys, just when they think their done, at least Sunny is retired from hard work.

I grabbed Jayce's show saddle and threw it on Twister, since she had trail and pleasure first. I had just started to put the bridle on when someone cleared their throat behind us. _Please don't be a snobby show mom. Please don't be a snobby show mom! _

"Where is my Miss Jay Bird at?" I turned around to the sound of my fathers voice.

"Dad?" I barely got out before Jayce started running.

"Grandpa!!" She squealed.

"Hey! What about us!?" Alice chirped in.

"Aunt Alice! Aunt Rose! Papa! Nana!" Well hell now it's a family fucking reunion.

"Hey guys, what's everyone doing here?"

"Couldn't miss this little ones first show." Esme or as Jayce calls her, nana, said.

"I have a feeling you where up to this?" I asked looking at Jami. She gave me a quick nod before the announcer said that pleasure would soon be starting. "Ok, well I'm glad your all here, but someone has a horse they need to warm up before going into the arena." Jayce squealed before letting me help her on Twister. They announced her age group and we started to head up to the arena.

"Good Luck!" We all told her before she went in. They went through everything they were suppose to, but since the group was so young, they only did a walk and trot. As they all lined up in the center, the judge walked on the line asking for the horses to back up. Jayce ended up placing second in the class. We were all excited for her. She then had trail and placed fourth in there. We had a lunch brake and I started to stretch out Sunny's legs before I got him saddled. He was warmed up so I threw Jayce's barrel racing saddle on him. Yes, Jayce is going to be just like me with the barrel racing, except she's starting younger then I did.

They called for her age group in barrel racing, so we all walked up there after I helped Jayce on Sunny. She waited her turn and then entered the arena. Sunny might be retired, but he still knows how to do his job. Jayce finished her run with a twenty-three second time. She left the arena with a big smile on her face. Since she was last to run, she also ended up with the best time and taking first place. We were walking back to the trailer, when a group of people, including the show judge walked up to us.

"Miss Swan?" The judge asked.

"Yes?" I said turning around to face him.

"It seems we may have a problem."

"What do you mean a problem?" I said looking at the snobby moms. _Just couldn't get through one fricken day without one of them talking to me. _

"That horse your daughter is riding can not show in 4-H." One said, wow her voice is really annoying.

"And why can't he?"

"He runs in professional rodeo. He can not compete in 4-H." Another one sneered.

I started to chuckle. I couldn't help it. "Are you serious?" Now my family joined in with me.

"Momma, why can't I show Sunny?" Jayce asked.

"Baby, you can show Sunny."

"No she can't!" One of the moms yelled.

"Oh yes she can. I've read the rule books. This horse has not competed in the professional tour in four years. He's freaking 22 years old for petey's sake. I can't help it if he can still beat your damn push button horses!" I was starting to lose my temper.

"He still can't compete."

"Yes he can. The rules state that if he is no longer competing in professional rodeo, then he can compete in 4-H. Now if you have a problem with that, then I have no problem going to the show board. And trust me, they will listen and side with me. Your choice." I said as I grabbed Sunny's reins and headed back to the trailer.

"She can't do that!" Someone yelled behind me.

"Actually she is correct on the rule books. And when you came to me, you told me that horse was still competing. So I will not do anything about her daughter's awards." The judge said. Ha serves them snobby ass show moms! I unsaddled Sunny and we walked back up to watch the roping events. They had just started breakaway roping when Jayce decided to talk.

"Momma, I wanna learn how to rope." I looked at her dumbfounded. Of course she'd be interested in roping, hell both of her parents roped in rodeo, even though she didn't know that. I didn't know what to do, this is something her father should be teaching her. Her father should have been here for her first show, helping her get ready. Her father should have been here for the last five years. Her father should have been doing a lot of things, instead of fucking ignoring me. _He chose that girl over you, and now your daughter. _Yeah, well maybe it's fucking time I paid Mr. Edward fucking Cullen a visit, and show him what he missed out on. Fuck! I must have taken to long to answer, because Rose finally answered her.

"Babe, maybe Uncle Emmett or Uncle Jasper will teach you if you ask really really nice." Jayce got a huge smile on her face, while the rest of the family watched me have a battle going on inside my mind. Once the show was over, we loaded the horses and headed back home, with the family following us. Once we got there, Jami helped put the horses away and fed while I went inside to start making dinner for all of us.

Since Edward chose to not talk to me any longer, I kind of cut him out of my life. When we were all together, everyone knew not to talk about Edward around me, so I didn't know where he lived, what he was doing or anything about him anymore. But I was getting tired of all the things he was missing out on with his daughter. I zoned out into my own world, and didn't hear Esme come in.

"Everything ok dear? You seem a little out of it." She asked, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Esme, how is he? What does he do now?" I didn't have to tell her who he was, she knew.

"He's busy. He bought the farm from us and trains horses. He's actually very successful. From what I hear, he finally fired the girl that has been working for him since you left. He found out some things about her that he didn't approve of."

I thought about everything that she just said. Was the girl he just fired, the girl that kept answering his phone? If she was, what did that mean? Was he really waiting for me? "Esme, I think it's time I come back home. I think it's time Jayce learns how to rope from her father." Hopefully this is the right decision.

"I agree dear." Shortly after that everyone came in, and we ate. Alice and Rose where playing Jayce barbie with all the clothes they bought for Jayce. _At least it's not Bella Barbie anymore!_ Since the family was going to be here for a week, instead of flying, I'll ask Rose and Alice to ride with me, leaving Dad, Esme, and Carlisle to fly back. Now I just needed to talk to Jami. I quickly found her, tapped her on the shoulder, and pointed to outside. She nodded and followed me out.

"What's up Bella?" She asked with a look on her face, like she already knew.

"Jami, I've loved working here. And I can never thank you enough for the opportunity you gave me. But I think it's time to head home and for Jayce to meet her dad."

"Well, it's about damn time Bella!" I looked at her shocked. _What the hell? _ "I knew this day was coming. I knew you'd come to your senses and chase after the love you and Edward share. Why do you think you have an "assistant"? Joise is taking your place. I will miss you though. You are one of the best damn trainers around." A tear slid down my face as I hugged her. She really was one of my best friends. We went back inside and found everyone watching TV. I guess now is the time.

"Hey, um, Rose, Alice?" They looked at me, well here goes nothing. "I was wondering if you guys would drive back with me?" Everyone looked at me confused except for Esme and Jami. "Jayce and I are coming home." They squealed and ran to me and hugged me. After everyone hugged and said they were happy for us, Jayce came up to me.

"Momma, does this mean I getta meet my daddy?" How is it that, that one sentence made me feeling like a shitty mother?

"Yes baby. It means you get to meet your daddy." She jumped up in my arms and squealed. _Damn, there goes my ear drum. Maybe she is more like Rose and Alice then I thought? _After everyone settled down and Rose and Alice agreed to ride back with me, I had one more thing I needed to do. I dialed the number and listened to it ring three times before I heard a voice I hadn't heard in five years.

"Hello?" He asked confused. Oh yeah, I changed my number, so he don't know this one.

"Edward?" I let out the breath I had been holding.

"Yeah, can I ask who is this please?" Somehow a giggle escaped my mouth. "Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, it's me. I'm coming home. We have lots to talk about."

Esme POV

-----------------

When Jayce said she wanted to learn to rope, I knew that flicked on a switch in Bella's head. I knew she was thinking that Edward should be the one teaching her. So when she said they were coming home, I was happy. I knew her reasons for stay away. I can't say that I blame her, but I can't say that I blame Edward either. They are both young, but Bella seems like she is finally coming to her senses about coming home. I know Edward will be shocked, and mad, but he'll get over it and make a good dad. I was kind of mad when she told me that I couldn't tell Edward about Jayce. I thought he should know. But when she told me that he had called and text him numerous times only to either have a girl answer and always say he wasn't busy, or just plane getting ignored, I knew she at least tried. So I didn't tell him, that's her story to tell, not mine.

Over the week, we helped Bella pack all of her stuff and shipped what wouldn't fit. When she moved out here, she only had two horses, so she was able to put some stuff in her trailer. Well now she has four horses and her trailer is full. Before I knew it, we were on the plane heading home. It was going to be a long wait for the girls to get home. They planned on stopping along the way to shop for clothes, tack, and whatever else those four can find. Once they get home, it's gonna be one hell of a storm coming threw.

BPOV

----------

Once we got the parents on the place, we started our way back to Forks Washington. A place I thought I'd never go back to. We stopped at a couple of stores, and bought lots of stuff. By the time we were pulling into Washington, you couldn't fit anything else in the cab of the truck. When I talked to Edward, he was happy I was coming home and said I could keep the horses there. It was so good to hear his voice. When we hung up, all I could think about was the feeling of his hands on me. When we got to Forks, it was around noon, we had left Nebraska five days ago. _Yeah, the shopping took that freaking long. _Heading to Edward's place a song came on the radio.

"Hey Bella, this song kind of reminds me of you and Edward." Alice said. Once I heard the song, silent tears where rolling down my cheeks.

This time, This place

Misused, Mistakes

Too long, Too late

Who was I to make you wait

Just one chance

Just one breath

Just in case there's just one left

'Cause you know,

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask

Last chance for one last dance

'Cause with you, I'd withstand

All of hell to hold your hand

I'd give it all

I'd give for us

Give anything but I won't give up

'Cause you know,

you know, you know

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

and you'll never go

Stop breathing if

I don't see you anymore

So far away

Been far away for far too long

So far away

Been far away for far too long

But you know, you know, you know

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

'Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

Believe it

Hold on to me and

Never let me go

Alice was right, this song was just us. By the time we got to the farm, Jayce was asleep. Edward met us outside, and I quickly jumped out with Rose and Alice. _This is not the time I want Jayce to meet her father. _We unloaded the horses and put them in the stalls.

"I see you still got Sunny and Twister?" Edward asked.

"Uh, yeah... um I have someone that rides them." I stumbled out. We were inside the barn with Edward looking at Kissee, when I heard the truck door close. _O crap, why now? _

"Momma? Momma where are you?" Jayce called out. Edward looked at me funny, and I just turned and went to the end of the barn.

"Right here Baby." Well I guess she's going to meet him sooner then I thought. She ran up to me, I bent down and picked her up. She settled her head on my shoulder with her face towards my neck. She's always does this when she wakes up. I could feel her hot breath on my neck, and Edward walking up behind me.

"I didn't know you were a mother Bella?" He asked.

"Well, um... there's a lot you don't know." I said looking at Rose and Alice. They looked just as nervous as I did.

"Momma, can I see Twist and Sun?"

"Sure, Rose will you take her please? I need to talk to Edward." She nodded, and Jayce climbed down, skipping over to Rose and Alice. I heard Edward's intake of air. _Shit, Shit, Shit, he knows. _

"Bella, how old is she?" He asked.

"She um, just turned five on May fifth." I said barely above a whisper.

"Who is her father?" I looked up at him as the tears started to fall for the second time today. "It's me, isn't it? I'm her father?"

* * *

Whoa, bet you weren't expecting that was ya? Hehe, let me know what ya think. Jayce's show outfit is on my profile.


	15. Broken

Song For Chapter: Broken by Seether

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Broken

* * *

**EPOV**

When I left Nebraska, my entire world crashed. Leaving Bella was the hardest thing I have ever had to do at this point in my life. After she shared her body with me, I knew I would need her by my side. She was wonderful, and now she kept my heart. When I got home, I threw myself into my job. I filled my barn up with as many horses as I could, and did nothing but work. It was to the point to where I had to hire someone to help me. Lauren. She wasn't the nicest person to be around in high school, but she did know about horses, plus she could work around my schedule.

The first month after I left Nebraska, Bella and I talked on the phone but mainly sent text messages. She was busy getting used to working with top end horses, and she also had a full barn. I wanted her with me, working in my barn along side me, but I knew she needed this. Working for Jami Jensen was a great opportunity and Bella deserved it. After that first month, the text messages came less and less. I knew she was busy, but it almost felt like she was pulling away from me.

Over the last five years, I somehow ended up losing contact with Bella. I still loved her and that caused that much more hurt without being able to talk to her. I kept throwing myself into training and always had a full barn. When my parents decided to move into town, they sold the farm to me. I even added another barn for stalls. Lauren kept working for me, even though she kept trying to get me to take her out.

Cullen Farms became the top training facility in Washington, so I was building up a pretty good savings. Since I lost touch with Bella, I had always hoped that she would come home. I had everything set up for us. I owned the farm, plus the savings, now I just needed her home.

**Lauren POV**

When I heard Bella was moving to Nebraska, I couldn't have been happier. Now I would get my chance with Edward. I had fallen in love with Edward in high school, but with the three bitches around him all the time, I was never given the time of day. Yeah, well that's about to fucking change. Edward is mine now and no one else's. When I found out he was hiring for someone to work at his barn, I immediately applied. This was totally my time.

The first couple of weeks working there, I noticed Edward still talked to Bella. _Not for long. _When Edward was working, he left his cell phone in the barn office, _perfect. _I remember it like it was yesterday, I was filling out the paperwork for the order we were about to place. You know the usual, grain, treats, vet wrap, and all the crap. When Edward's phone vibrated, it startled me at first, then I saw the name that I wish would just disappear, _Bella. _

"Hello?" I answered. I didn't hear her, and I was about to say hello again when the bitch finally spoke.

"Uh, is Edward available?"

"No, he's um.... busy right now." I giggled, trying my best to imply that he was sexually busy right now. It must have worked, because she quickly hung up. I was finally getting her out of the picture. I quickly went into the call log, and deleted her number, so according to the phone, she never fucking called. I kept doing that every time she called or sent a text message. I could see the change in Edward when she "no longer wanted to talk to him." But he has me now, so he'll get over it. She quite calling and texting shortly after that.

One day in the barn I saw Alice and Rose walk in, _guess their back for some break from school,_ they were getting ready to go for a ride. I ignored them and went into the tack room to straighten it up when I heard them talking.

"So, are we going to go to Nebraska and see Jayce for her fourth birthday?" Alice asked. _Who the fuck is Jayce? _

"Of course, you think I'm going to miss my nieces birthday?" _Niece? It's only her and Edward and Edward don't have a kid. _

"I wish Edward could go with us. I know he would love Jayce." Alice almost whispered.

"I know, Jayce is looking more like him everyday. She has Edward's eyes, and did you see her hair the last time? It's starting to look more like Edward's every time I see her." _Edward has a fucking daughter!? Does he know? _

"Yes, I saw. Those two really did have a perfect little girl. To bad Edward gave up his chance at ever meeting his daughter." _Now I feel kind of bad, this little girl will never know her father because of me. _

"As is life. Let's ride." Alice squealed.

I had lived with that information for a year. It seemed to eat at me everyday. I wanted Edward, but at what price? That day when the girls left, I snuck into Rose's purse and saw a picture of Bella and a little girl on a horse. I'm guessing that little girl is Jayce, and they were right, she is beautiful. Just looking at her you could tell she was Edward's by the emerald green eyes, and the reddish tint in her brown hair. She also had his chin and cheek bones, but you could also see a lot of Bella in her.

I was cleaning out a stall and that picture kept flashing in my mind. She had just turned five if I remember correctly. I wonder if she looks more like Edward or Bella now? At this line of thinking, I was getting pissed at myself. I shouldn't be thinking about those two, I'm the one that's fucking here with Edward, she left him. _But you also played a part in it. Your the reason Edward doesn't know he has a daughter. _I swear I could feel the fucking steam coming out of my ears, I was so pissed. I didn't hear Edward walk to the stall I was in.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" Just the sound of his voice brought that picture back in my head again.

"You fucking do it." I mumbled. _Fuck did I just say that out loud? _

"Excuse me?" I looked up at Edward and he looked mad. _Good, time to dance asshole. _"Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!" I yelled.

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." _Wow, he's even more hot when he's pissed off. _

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family."

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I mumbled.

"What did you hear?"

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." He stated calming. That just pissed me off even more. He stood and watched me as I walked out of the stall and grabbed my stuff. As I was walking down the ally way, I couldn't help what came out of my mouth next.

"You should ask your family about your daughter!" I yelled. Even though I didn't get Edward, I knew what I did to Bella and now Edward, those two would never be fucking together again. And that alone is almost better then me and Edward together!

**EPOV**

I was just finishing up riding a horse when I remember I hadn't let Jack and Star out. I had retired Jack, and Star was a mare that was brought to me to breed her with Jack. She was due in about two months, so we kept her outside at much as possible on the nice days. Walking up the ally way, I could hear Lauren cleaning out one of the stalls, so I walked over to her.

"Lauren when you get a chance, will you take Jack and Star and put them in the pasture?" I asked. It was still early in the day, so I was in no big hurry.

"You fucking do it." I heard her mumble mumbled.

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe she just said that_. _"Last I checked, that is what I paid you for."

"Then maybe you should fucking look for someone else!"

"Is there something you want to tell me, because by all fucking means, spit it out." I was getting pissed. I was her fucking boss, not her friend.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to. That spot is strictly on your family." _What the hell is she talking about? _

"My family has nothing to do with your job."

"You'd be surprised what I hear in this barn when your family is around." I heard her mumble again.

"What did you hear?" _Maybe they heard from Bella! _

"That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."

"You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out.

She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!" And with that she was gone. _My what? I don't have a daughter. _I couldn't think about it to long, now I had a lot to do today. I finished riding the horses, cleaning stalls, and feeding. Somehow I found time to call my mom, of course since they were on a vacation somewhere, I got her voice mail. I asked her when she was coming home, that I fired Lauren and was wondering if she was interested in helping out until I found someone new.

By the time I was done with everything, I pulled my ass inside and took a shower. I had just sat down to eat when my cell rang. Looking at it, I didn't recognize the number, but knew it was from out of state.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Edward?" A lady spoke. _Maybe she wanted me to train her horse? _

"Yeah, can I ask who is this please?" I asked. Before she answered, a giggle escaped her mouth, and I would know that giggle from anywhere. It's a sound I've waited five years to hear again. "Bella?"

"Yeah Edward, it's me. I'm coming home. We have lots to talk about."

After talking to Bella for a short period, I found out that she was indeed coming home. She wanted to know if I knew of anyplace for her to board her four horses, and I told her she could keep them here. After all, I had about five or six that would be leaving this week. She said she was going to spend the week packing, then be driving out here. I couldn't wait to see her. Shortly after that, my mother called and said they would be home towards the end of the week, but she acted like she knew something from the excitement in her voice.

The following week passed by so slowly. Of course, I was waiting for Bella to come home. I ended up having to wake up earlier in the mornings to do chores that Lauren normally did, then ride, do chores again, go in, shower, eat, and then head to bed. Today was a day that I didn't ride horses, in a way their day off, so I was cleaning up the tack room It was around noon when I heard a truck pull into my driveway. When it got closer, I could see Bella driving, and Rose in the front seat. _Oh she has some explaining to fucking do! _

When they parked, Bella jumped out along with Rose and then Alice. _What the fuck!? _I would ask them later, right now I was to happy to see Bella. She had gotten older, you could tell by her body, but damn she still looked good. We each grabbed a horse and walked into the barn, me telling them what stalls where open. I was shocked to see that she still had Sunny and Twister though, but the other two horses were good looking. I kept seeing Rose and Alice look at me apologetically, they knew they were going to get a talking to.

"I see you still got Sunny and Twister?" I finally asked.

"Uh, yeah... um I have someone that rides them." She stumbled out. I was looking at her dun that she called Kissee, when I heard a truck door close.

"Momma? Momma where are you?" I heard a little girl call out. I looked at funny kind of funny, because there shouldn't be a little girl around the farm. She had a worried look on her face before she turned and walked to the end of the barn.

"Right here Baby." _Baby? Momma? What the hell is going on here?_ The little girl ran up to Bella, and she bent down and picked her up. She settled her head on Bella's shoulder with her face towards her neck. I walked up behind her, a little she has a daughter. _Maybe I'm to late. Yep, my plans just went out the fucking window! _

"I didn't know you were a mother Bella?" I stated, but it sounded more like a question.

"Well, um... there's a lot you don't know." She said looking at Rose and Alice. I looked over at them and they looked nervously at Bella, then looked at me apologetically again. I questioned them with my eyes until the little girl spoke again.

"Momma, can I see Twist and Sun?"

"Sure, Rose will you take her please? I need to talk to Edward." I looked back as Rose nodded, and the little girl climbed down, skipping over to Rose and Alice. When she was skipping over to them, I got a good look at her. I felt myself take in an intake of air. She had my eyes, my color hair, then a conversation came back to me.

_ "That your family is keeping something from you that you should have known about."_

_ "You know what Lauren, I'm tired of your games. Get your shit and leave, your fired." I stated. I watched her as she grabbed all her stuff and start to walk out. _

_ She was halfway down the ally way when she yelled out, "You should ask your family about your daughter!"_

"Bella, how old is she?" I whispered.

"She um, just turned five on May fifth." Bella whispered back just as quietly.

"Who is her father?"I asked. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. In that moment I knew, I knew that my family kept this from me, that Bella kept this from me, and that some how fucking Lauren knew. "It's me, isn't it? I'm her father?" Bella simply nodded. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?!" I whisper yelled. That last sentence seemed to spark something within her.

"Rose, please take Jayce outside." _Jayce? My daughter's name was Jayce. _I watched Rose and Alice walk out of the barn with Jayce before Bella turned her attention back to me. _O shit, I know that look, this isn't going to be pretty. _"Edward, do you know what you said to me before you left?" I didn't even have time before she continued. "You said that you loved me, and that you would fucking wait for me. A fucking month after you left, I found out I was pregnant. I called you to tell you, and guess what Edward you didn't fucking wait. You lied. I tired to contact you to tell you! I called numerous times and a girl always answered! I sent you text messages, fucking begging you to call me, and you never fucking did. I have spent that last five years raising MY daughter because her father was to much of an asshole to return my phone calls. YOU are her father. YOU missed five years of her life, while YOU where playing with some other fucking girl. YOU Edward, all fucking YOU!" By the time she was done, she was crying.

I didn't know what girl she was talking about, I haven't been with anyone since Bella. She had tried to tell me I had a daughter. "Bella, I haven't been with anyone since you. I've been waiting for only you." I stumbled out. When she finally looked at me, my heart broke. She looked so sad and defeated.

"Then who was the fucking woman that answered your phone?!" She almost yelled.

"Bella, I don't know. There hasn't been a woman here except those who I train horses for. And then theres...." I stopped. Lauren. Would she have really done something like this? "Lauren." I finished. She looked at me with her mouth dropping open. "I hired Lauren after I came back from Nebraska. My barn got to busy, I needed the help. She would have had access to my phone." All Bella did was nod, before we heard the voices coming back in. Jayce came running up to Bella, before Bella gave her a stern look and she slowed down to a walk.

"Momma, Aunt Rose said my daddy trains roping horses!" She was almost jumping in spot. So she knew who her aunt was. I looked at Rose and she simply nodded as if she could read my mind. "Does this mean my daddy will teach me?"

"I'm sure your daddy would love to teach you. You know Twister?" Bella asked, Jayce nodded. "Your daddy used to own him." Jayce started jumping in place.

"That is sooooooo cool!" She squealed. I heard a truck coming up the drive and looked at my watch. It was probably my mom. When she walked in, she was followed by my dad, Jasper and Emmett. Mom saw Jayce and looked at me with a questioning look. Before I could say anything, Jayce went running to them.

"Nana! Papa!" What the hell? How did she know them? As my dad sat her down, she finally saw the other to. Before Jayce even moved Emmett had picked her up and started spinning her. "Uncle Em!! Put me down please." He sat her down before she ran over to Jasper. "Uncle Jazz!" She yelled, launching herself into his arms. I looked around at everyone, and they were all looking at me.

"Can someone please tell me what in the hell is going on here?" I yelled.

"Momma, he said a naughty word. Should I get the soap?" Jayce said causing everyone, to chuckle.

"No baby, no soap." Bella said looking sternly at me. I couldn't handle this, I turned and walked out of the barn towards my truck. Once I got in, I started it up and left my driveway, and just drove.

I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

How could it have come down to this?

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Did my family know? Of course they did. Jayce knew who they were. She jumped into their open arms. Will Bella let me step up and be there for her and Jayce now that I know? How could my family do this to me?

Cause I'm broken when I'm open

And I don't feel like I am strong enough

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome

And I don't feel right when you're gone

You've gone away

You don't feel me here anymore

I had only gotten to Forks before I decided to turn around. I wouldn't get the answers I wanted, no needed, without talking to them. Pulling into my driveway I saw that everyone was still here. Taking in a deep breath, I parked the truck and went back to the barn. Jayce was at the end of the barn with Rose brushing her horse. I walked up to everyone that was left in a circle, and took another deep breath.

"How long have you guys known?" I asked everybody, but it was Bella who answered.

"They were there shortly after she was born."

I looked up at my family, shocked. "You've known for five years and nobody thought to tell me?"

"Edward, I asked them not to. I was hurting because I love you, and at that time, when that girl answered your phone, I thought you moved on. I was letting you go. That girl made it seem like you were happy, and I didn't want you to hurt like I was. So I asked them not to tell you."

"Why now? Why have you decided to tell me now?" I asked, when I looked back up, I noticed it was only Bella and I there now.

"We were watching the roping events when she said she wanted to learn how to rope. I immediately thought of you, about how much you missed. And I just couldn't handle it anymore. I was bound and determined that even though you had someone else, your daughter still needed to know you."

"Bella, I understand that you tried to tell me about her, but why I don't understand is why you waited so long. I've waited for you for five years. Then you show up with not only my sister, but my daughter? This still hasn't sunk in yet. I hope we can get past this, but it's going to take a lot of hard work." When I heard a voice that wasn't Bella's I was shocked, I hadn't even seen or heard anyone walk up to me.

"Momma, that's my daddy isn't it?" I looked down at my daughter and she looked at me. Bella didn't even answer her, but I could hear her sniffling. "Are you my daddy?"


	16. AN

** Sorry, I know I just gave you guys one of these, but**

**I have decided to change the outline a little bit, going off of what you guys have said. **

**I'll try and update it as soon as I get somethings worked out with it. **

**I wasn't happy with how some of the things were going, and going off some reviews, **

**neither were some people. I'm working on this story right now as well as one I have posted**

**already and another story Im doing, but not sure when I'm going to post. **

**Hopefully you guys will enjoy the changes I am making. **

**~Carrie  
**


	17. Chapter 15

Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams

Chapter 15

* * *

EPOV

Last night was probably the worst and best night of my life. I found out I had a daughter, I also found out my entire family knew and didn't bother to tell me. I believed Bella when she told me she had tried to contact me, and I also believed Lauren was the reason of the failed contact.

I wasn't going to let my family off easy though. They should have told me. They had been there and known of all her firsts while I knew nothing. I still loved Bella, almost more so now that she had given me a child. I could see where she was coming from but then again I couldn't. She was hurt when Lauren implied that I had moved on, but maybe if she would have just kept trying.

Shaking my head, I grabbed my coffee and started my way out to the barn. Thinking like that wouldn't do any good. I had my daughter here now, I needed to work on that.

I entered the barn and went to the office. I put all my stuff down in there and headed out to grab one of the training horses. As I was coming to the indoor arena, I heard muffled voices. I was confused, because Rose and Alice wouldn't be riding. I opened the big sliding doors and stopped in my tracks.

There, riding in the arena on Sunny was my daughter, and Bella calling out to her. They hadn't noticed me yet, so I just stood there and watched.

"Jayce, lets go again, remember you gotta push him going through the barrels." Bella instructed her. Jayce nodded and pushed Sunny into a run for the first barrel. Sunny moved just as he always had, even being an old guy, but he was careful, like he just knew Jayce was on him. I watched as Jayce finished the pattern and run home. She was a natural talent on the back of a horse.

"Did ya see that momma?" She said excitedly. Bella had barely nodded before Jayce spoke again. "Momma, do you think daddy would be proud of me?" She asked softly.

"Yes baby, I know he is. He loves you just as much as I do."

"Do you think he'll teach me how to rope?" Bella looked up and noticed me standing there. She gave me a big smile before turning back to our daughter.

"Why don't you ask him?" I swung up on my horse and walked over to them. I decided to play dumb and act like I didn't hear their conversation.

"Ask me what?" Jayce turned towards me with a big smile just like Bella and loped Sunny up to me.

"Jayce!" Bella warned.

"Sorry momma." She said quietly to Bella, causing me to chuckle. "Will you teach me how to rope?"

"Sure Twister will help teach you to."

The rest of the day Jayce hung out with me and helped me with the horses. That little grew knew a lot for her age. When it was time for lunch, Bella brought pizza out to the barn for all of us. We sat down and started eating. I was on my third slice when Jayce decided to talk.

"Daddy, do you love momma?" I loved her calling me daddy, but her question almost made me choke on my pizza. I looked across from me to Bella, and my eyes locked on hers. She was still beautiful. She was about to speak up, but I beat her to it.

"Yes, I do. I love you to." I never took my eyes off Bella, letting her see that I was speaking the truth.

"Momma, do you love daddy?"

"Yes, I do." She spoke softly, never breaking the connection we were sharing.

"Good. Now let's move on." Bella finally looked at our daughter with her own questions.

"Move on? What do you mean Jayce?" I looked at our daughter to see her smiling proudly.

"Daddy hurt you. You hurt daddy. You missed each other. You love each other! It's s-i-m-p-l-e! Time to move on." She sang out. _Oh how a five year old mind works_, I chuckled to myself. Bella raised an eyebrow at me, which caused me to just out right laugh. I heard Jayce giggling before Bella joined in.

"We'll work on it." I said when I finally calmed down. I really did just want to move on. I mean, yeah I could be mad about how the past played out, but really what good would it do me? It would hurt my daughter in the long run. It was just time to move on and get past it.

As the weeks went on, Bella had started working around the barn and helping me with training. We had finally moved past things and had gone out on a couple of dates. Jayce was excited and kept telling us she wants a baby brother. I was all for the idea, but we still had a couple steps to do before we got to that point.

Jayce had started showing and just like Bella, she became well known. She was a natural rider and I knew she would make it far in the horse world. It also helped both her parents were some of the top horse trainers. Jayce also was pretty popular when she started school. Everyone wanted to be her friend. She was just so easy going and fun to be around.

I had started talking to my family again. I still didn't completely forgive them, but I kind of understood what was going through their heads. I just wish they would have thought things through and told me.

Charlie's house was getting kind of cramped for everyone, so I asked Bella to move in with me. She happily agreed, and I couldn't tell out of the three of us who was more excited. I think it might have been Jayce because she could be around the horses at all times. I just laughed at the energy she seemed to be stealing from Alice.

* * *

It has been two years since Bella came back into my life with Jayce. Jayce was seven and number one in youth barrel racing. Bella and I gave her everything she wanted, but she also worked for it. She wanted to go to school to be a vet, so she knew she was going to have to work for what she wanted. I couldn't have been anymore proud of her.

Tonight I was going to ask Bella to marry me. I had it all planned out. I was currently standing in the barn waiting for her to join me. Jayce was riding in the arena with Rose and Alice. When I saw Bella walk into the barn, I swear it was an angel. To me Bella would always be beautiful.

"Love, shall we?" I asked her before placing a kiss on her forehead. She nodded and fallowed behind me. I walked into the arena and smiled at Jayce. I watched as she went to the back stall before walking towards us. She was leading a pure black yearling filly. It took me awhile to find her, but she was worth the wait and the price I paid for her. Bella saw her and started walking towards her.

"Aww, aren't you just a pretty little thing." Bella cooed at her. She started rubbing on her head, when she finally came to a stop, I knew she had found the ring. "Edward, what is this?" She asked pulling the ring off the halter. I kneeled down in the dirt in the arena.

"Bella, I know we haven't had an easy time together. But I love you more then anything and want to spend the rest of my life with you. Please, do me the honor of being my wife?" When she didn't answer, I got a little scared. _What if she says no? Then what would I do? _"Bella?"

"Yes." She said before lunging at me, causing both of us to fall back onto the ground. I heard the filly nicker and Jayce squeal as we stood up. "Edward, who owns this filly? I might have to talk to them about buying her."

"Well you'd be talking to me. This filly belongs to Cullen Farms."

The rest of the night was with us all riding around in the arena. Alice and Bella were already talking about wedding plans, which sounded like it was going to be soon. It didn't bother me, the sooner the better.

Since the night I proposed, time has seemed to speed up. I slipped on the western suit jacked and looked in the mirror. Today, Bella would be my wife. I couldn't even begin to explain the happiness that was working its way out of me. I walked down to the barn and saw the family was there and were ready to start. Bella walked in the isle in a beautiful white dress.

We did a short ceremony, mainly just exchanging vows. Before I knew it we were announced as husband and wife. I turned towards Bella and gave her a kiss. It was short, but full of love. Our family cheered for us as we turned and faced them.

"I introduce to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen." The preacher announced. Jayce ran up to us and gave us each a hug. Jayce grabbed mine and Bella's hand, leading us out of the barn, and towards our future.

* * *

**So this is the last chapter. Sorry there was alot going on in this chapter. I decided that since there's only a couple people that read this story, I would just end it on a good note. Thank you to those of you who stood through it all with me. Make sure to keep an eye on my other stories. I have one going right now- Fresh Starts. It's a Bella/Alec story. Again, thank you to those of you read and kept up with this story. **


	18. Locations

Alright Ladies and Gentz

This is just letting you all know that, ALL my stories

-Fates Winding Road, Fresh Starts, Wild Hearts, Goodbye Is Always Hard, Broken Hearts and Rodeo Dreams-

Will be most likely, be slowing coming off of FFnet.

While I love the response I am getting on here,

I don't enjoy the threats to turn me in for Fates Winding Road.

If one story isn't going to be on this site, none of them are.

New Beginnings -Fresh Starts Sequel- will ONLY be posted on this new site.

Sorry for all the problems of having to go to a different site to read my stories, and I hope I don't loose

any of you as my readers.

With the new place to read the stories, the banners, playlist and all the information will all be right there.

I am still working on this site and posting chapters, but all the story tabs are on there.

Again, sorry for any troubles this puts you in.

The new place to read these stories are at...

www(.)caremarieff(.)blogspot(.)com

of course remove the ().

Hope to see you all over there!


	19. Contest

Hey -guys- and galz!

Just dropping in to let ya know that

The Wolf Pack Adventures

and

The Luv'NV

have come together to do a one-shot contest!

To find out more information and to enter, please go to

www . theluvnv . com / 2011 / 03 / devils-in-detail-contest . html

(Just remove the spaces)

Hope to see ya'll enter! :)


	20. Continue?

Hey all. I've been thinking about -and have been asked- to add more to this story.

If I did, I would be taking down the last two or so chapters and redoing them.

There is a poll on my profile, so make sure to vote! I'll leave it up for a week.

-Thank You!


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